Hogwarts Jokes
67 hogwarts jokes and hilarious hogwarts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hogwarts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you a Harry Potter fan? Get ready for some magical hilarity! Check out this collection of funny Hogwarts jokes ranging from Slytherin to Muggle jokes - something for everyone to enjoy! Rowling fans, prepare to laugh!
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Funniest Hogwarts Short Jokes
Short hogwarts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hogwarts humour may include short magic jokes also.
- Reviews for Hogwarts Legacy are coming in. Most reviewers are giving it a 9 3/4 depending on the platform.
- How do you find the gym at Hogwarts? You look for the Dumbell-dores
Sorry if this was already done - Harry went into the chamber of secrets with his wand. When he suddenly felt a strange itch.
This girl...
She had Hogwarts. - Don't let this election distract you... From the fact that Slytherin blew a 472 to 312 point lead to Gryffindor for the House Cup during the trophy presentation ceremony at Hogwarts back in 1992.
- i used to go to hogwarts but they kicked me out because of my dyslexia apparently spelling matters
- Harry Potter's invisibility cloak was very effective for spying on the women of Hogwarts They never saw him coming.
- Do you know why most Hogwarts students are white? Because Dumbledore doesn't like black magic.
- I saw a half lion, half eagle in the dining room at Hogwarts. Everyone was wondering how it had got in but it was obvious. It came through the Griffindor.
- As a Harry Potter fan, I dream of going to Hogwarts. My friend is a Narnia fan, and he's always wanted to go to Narnia.
My other friend is a hunger games fan, but he's good. - I know why Hogwarts doesn't have math class. They have a magical device for it. It's called a calculator.
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Hogwarts One Liners
Which hogwarts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hogwarts? I can suggest the ones about potter and magical.
- What language does the post office at Hogwarts speak? Parceltongue
- What do Hogwarts students use to read PDF files? They use Adobby
- What does a confused student at Hogwarts study? Which craft?
- How do you get a snake into Hogwarts? You tell it to slither in
- How do Hogwarts students keep their breathe fresh? enchant mints
- How does Albus get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble-door
- What did the neckbeard wizard use to find his way around Hogwarts? M'rauders Map
- A dentist graduated from Hogwarts... He's now known as the Wizard of Aahhhs
- How do you deliver gym equipment to Hogwarts? Through the dumbbell door.
- There's a gym in Hogwarts It's right through the dumbbell doors
- What do you call a Hogwarts teacher who's been made redundant. Severance Snape
- What do they call diarrhea at Hogwarts? expellianus!
- What's the most important class at Hogwarts? Spelling
- What do you call the Mental Health class at Hogwarts? Defence against the Dark Thoughts.
- What do you call a pig with a skin disease? Hogwarts..
Quirky and Hilarious Hogwarts Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about hogwarts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wizard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hogwarts pranks.
Hey, Can I take you to Hogwarts?
Because I'm 9 and 3/4.
How come no one got pregnant at Hogwarts?
*fetus deletus*
I applied to Hogwarts the a few weeks back. Unfortunately, I didn't get accepted.
Figured I could just Slytherin.
What do they call an abortion in Hogwarts?
*fetus, deletus!*
^It's ^my ^first ^time ^posting ^here. ^Tell ^me ^if ^I ^did ^something ^wrong ^or ^if ^this ^is ^the ^wrong ^sub...
^And ^yes, ^I ^am ^a ^Muggle.
How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?
Weasley twins are 50% off
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the dyslexic wizard fail Hogwarts?
Cause he couldn't spell.
What did Dumbledore say to the potions teacher at Hogwarts when he fired him?
This is your severance snape.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who are the most h**...-e**... pop group at Hogwarts?
Wand e**....
Here is how you can tell John Cena is kicked out of Hogwarts.
He abuses the invisibility spell.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What Disease Do You Get When You Have s**... With Harry Potter?
Hogwarts.
What do you call a Jamaican teacher at Hogwarts?
De mentor.
What did Voldemort say when stubbed his toe trying to enter Hogwarts?
"Dumb 'ol door!"
The Hogwarts basketball team is the worst in all the Wizarding World.
They can only score 9 in 3 quarters.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The dating scene at Hogwarts must really s**....
Since every girl there has a magic wand, they don't really need the boys at all.
Today I saw a boy running with a ticket on his hand at railway station..
Next thing I remember he was lying on the ground and ticket says 9 3/4 Hogwarts.
He missed april fools day
Why did Harry Potter have to go to Diagon Alley before going to Hogwarts?
He didn't want to be an unwanded guest.
Following the events of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, how did the Hogwarts payroll department satisfy the sudden termination of Albus Dumbledore?
Severus Package
What do pig farms and Harry Potter have in common?
Hogwarts
What was Ted Kennedy's favorite sport at Hogwarts?
Chappaquidditch.
The school of Hogwarts actually has its own patronum
It's a warthog!
I just heard this dont know if its been posted before
Percy Jackson fans: i want to go to camp half blood
Harry Potter fans: i want to go to Hogwarts
Narnia fans: i want to go to Narnia
Hunger Games fans: im good
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the most common form of birth control at Hogwart's?
*c**... Interruptus*
A creature is born of a lion mother and an eagle father. How does he get into Hogwart's?
The Gryffindor
Joke my ADHD brain thought of out of nowhere
So the Hogwarts police confiscated a coffee cup suspecting it of dangerous enchantments. Turns out the police that grabbed it drank a bit too much butterbeer. It was just a normal coffee cup that belonged to some arrogant human thief.
It was a smug muggle mugger's mug.
In Hogwarts, people don't slide into DMs
They slither in
Why didn't Gandalf get hired at Hogwarts?
He kept telling the students,, "Thou shalt not pass."
When i have my first child I'm going to make him read all the Harry Potter books and convince him he is also a wizard.
On his 11th birthday he will receive his hogwarts letter (written by me) and i will then take him to kings cross station and say nothing as he runs at the wall between platform 9 and 10.
