Hobo Jokes
60 hobo jokes and hilarious hobo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hobo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article will bring you giggles and grins with a collection of humorous jokes related to Hobos. From Icarly Hobo to hobophobic to jokes about the life of a traveler, there's something for everyone. Laugh till you puked with these jokes!
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Funniest Hobo Short Jokes
Short hobo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hobo humour may include short hippy jokes also.
- Did you hear about the homeless artist who got turned down in his submission for a classic string toy rebranding? It was a no-go hobo yo-yo logo.
- In a progressive move, Mattel is making a new boyfriend for Barbie who's a homeless man from New Jersey Hobo Ken.
- What is the difference between a hobo with a bike and a man in a suit with a tricycle? a tire
- How are a hobo and a balloon alike? Both are without visible means of support.
(My son found that in a children's joke book) - What do you call a homeless monkey in the woodwind part of an orchestra? The oboe bonobo hobo.
- What are the similarities between feminists and hobos? They both ask for change and never get any.
- Did you hear about the cockney hobo who offered no resistance to electrical current? He was ohm-less.
- Two hobos were fighting over politics A passerby gives them his two cents.
They were now fighting over two cents. - Is 'hobo' a bad word for a first grade class? Of course not, it's a bad word for a homeless person.
- What's the difference between a drug addicted hobo lying dead in the ditch and Whitney Houston? Only one of them will always you.
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Hobo One Liners
Which hobo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hobo? I can suggest the ones about hobbit and homeless.
- What do you call a starving hobo? Hungry
- Have you heard about the hobo gangster? Word on the street is he's roofless.
- What do you call a hobo who can fly? Peter Panhandle
- What instrument is played only by homeless people? The hoboe.
- Just took a nap in the dumpster. No hobo.
- I live by a bridge... "No hobo"
- So I ended up sleeping on a bench last night... ...no hobo.
- What were people called before they built houses? Hobo sapiens
- A WEALTHY SCIENTIST DATED A HOBO IT WAS AN IRONIC BOND.
- What do you call a hobo with a popped collar A Hobro
- Like a hobo that only accepts credit. It makes no cents.
- What makes a little bit of sense, but you'll never understand? Hobos
- What is the scientific term for a homeless person? Hobo sapien.
- Why was the hobo sad? Because he was in a great depression.
- Do you know the hobo code? It's Brobos before Hoeboes
Delightful Fun Hobo Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about hobo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hiker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hobo pranks.
A hobo got robbed
A hobo had been robbed and beaten into unconciousnes.
When he woke up he checked about his person for damages and missing items, and found that all injuries were superficial but he had lost all his belongings.
He stormed into the nearest police station.
"I want to report a robbery! all my 53 belongings have been stolen from me!"
"How can you be so sure about the number of the stolen items?" the officer asks sceptically with a raised eyebrow.
"It was a deck of cards and a bottle opener!"
What are your best "If I had ____ for every time..." jokes?
Two of my favorites are:
1. "If I had a dollar for every existentialist moment I've ever had...Does money even matter?" - Can't remember the comedian.
2. "If I had a quarter every time a hobo asked me for spare change, I'd still say no" - Bo Burnham
A couple of Hobos are sitting under an overpass sharing some hobo chili...
When Colorado Curly Bo says to Dakota Slim, "So, how'd you end up like this?"
Dakota Slim says, "Booze."
Bo says, "Yeah, I know how that is."
Dakota Slim continues, "I had it all; a beautiful wife, big house, two-car garage, and I just drank it all away."
He pauses, and asks "How'd you end up here?"
Bo says, "Racehorses."
Dakota reflects, "Yeah, I know how that is."
Bo says, "I just kept buying 'em and eating 'em!"
A very life-battered looking hobo asks for some change from a guy coming from a bar
The guy asks "Are you going to use it for booze then?"
"No I will not, sir" says the hobo.
"Well will you gamble it then?" Asks the man.
"No I will not, sir"
"Well then you must come and show my wife what it does to a man if he doesn't drink or gamble!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the hobo say to the p**...?
Hey girl, I'd sleep in that box.
A scientist is sat at the bar when a scruffy hobo sits down next to him...
"Hey buddy, are you that scientist feller?"
"... Yes I am. Is there something I can do for you?"
The hobo pulls something out of his pocket.
"I've found this marvelous material that's tough like plastic, stretchy like rubber and sticky like glue."
He hands it to the scientist.
"Why, yes!" says the scientist "This is quite a remarkable material. Wherever did you find it?"
"My nose."
Hobo paint job
A hobo comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, "Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven't had a good meal in several days."
The owner says, "I have made a fortune in my lifetime by supplying goods for people. I've never given anything away for nothing. However, if you go around the back, you will see a gallon of paint and a clean paint brush. If you will paint my porch, I will give you a good meal."
So the hobo goes around back and a while later he again knocks on the door. The owner says, "Finished already? Good. Come on in. Sit down. The cook will bring your meal right in."
The hobo says, "Thank you very much, sir. But there's something that I think you should know. It's not a Porsche you got there. It's a BMW."
As the police arrested the hobo, they were met with little resistance
he was ohmless
Why didn't Chris Hadfield play guitar with the hobo?
Cause he didn't have space to jam in.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a homeless caveman?
Hobo Erectus
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Hobo s**...
Hobo walks back into the camp where his buddies are having dinner. He is all happy and smiling.
They ask, why are you so happy.
He replies, well, I was walking along the track and found a beautiful woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and we had s**... for hours.
One of his buddies asks: "Did you get any head"
"No", he replied, "the train took most of that".
HOBOSEXUAL
A hobosexual is someone who enters into a relationship to avoid becoming homeless.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How are hobos and baloons alike?
Both are without any visable means of support
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Three hobos are talking about last night...
The first hobo says, I was digging around behind a McDonald's last night and someone threw away a whole meal! I had a feast.
The second hobo says, I was scavenging by the liquor store yesterday and I found a full bottle of whiskey! I got drunk out of my mind.
The third hobo says, That's nothing. I was walking by the tracks and I ran into this woman. We had s**... all night long!
The other two hobos, admitting the third's was the best, say, That's awesome! Did she give you head?
The third hobo says, No... I never found her head.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There is an old expression that goes like this, a hobo with one eye is good luck
But a homeless man with three eyes is the winner.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did one homeless man say to the other during a hobo o**...?
It's not gay if it's in a freeway.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a nice-smelling hobo?
A fragrant vagrant
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Why are hobos terrible at baseball?
Because they can't find home.
The lawyer is painting his house, and a hobo comes around and asked if he could do something or in a few dollars.
The lawyer says, "sure, take a can of paint and go around to the back of the house and paint my porch."
The hobo does this and 15 minutes later comes back and says he's finished. The lawyer says, "already?" And the hobo says," yeah, but it isn't a Porsche, it's a Mercedes!"
Hobo Spiders make the strongest webs.
So the money people give them doesn't fall through.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a Hobo Spider on the pavement.
Cheeky little b**......he didn't even accept my £10 note. Walked right over it, I can't stand that level of arrogance.
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Can I c**... at your place tonight ?
No Hobo tho.
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Two hobos...
were walking down a set of railroad tracks one hot afternoon when they walk up on a dead animal. The first hobo says " alright! something to eat, I haven't eaten in days. Are you going to join me? There is plenty to go around" the second hobo politely declines.
After the first hobo has his fill they continue on their journey down the tracks, when all of the sudden the first hobo stops and says " i'm not feeling so hot." and proceeds to v**.... The second hobo's eyes light up and he say with authentic excitement "now that's what I was waiting for, a nice hot meal."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two hobos are at the train yard looking to hitch a ride to the next town.
One hobo sees a dog l**... himself and says "Man, I wish I could do that"
Other hobo says "Maybe you should pet him first."
