Hobbles Jokes
8 hobbles jokes and hilarious hobbles puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hobbles that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Silly & Ridiculous Hobbles Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What is a good hobbles joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A p**... drunk man stumbles onto the bus on his way home...
When he finally hobbles his way to the last empty seat, he turns to see a posh stiff lady seated with her frilly pink French poodle.
He turns his head shakily and slurs, "Where'dh ye get tha' pig?"
The lady huffs and retorts, "Ugh! Why, I'll have you know Mr. Squiggles is **not** a pig! He is a purebred French poodle!"
The man squints his eyes and is silent for a second. Then turns back to the lady and slurs once more:
"I wath tokking...to thuh Frensh poothle."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A double foot amputee hobbles into a yogurt factory and is immediately escorted out...
They were lack toes intolerant.
Coma victim...
A man wakes up after being in a coma for 20 years. Immediately he calls his bank to see how his savings have grown with interest over the last two decades and is told he has $144,833,411, 19 in his account.
Whooo- Hoo! I'm a multi-millionaire!
He hobbles down the hallway giggling to himself at his good fortune. I'm gonna celebrate!
At the end of the hallway is a Coca-Cola Machine.
Ahhh! That'll taste good after all these years!
He fishes in his pocket and comes out with a dollar bill and inserts it. He can't wait!
Suddenly, a voice comes from the vending machine:
Please add an additional, $47, 499 dollars.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
she wants a box of condoms
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a c**..., cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.
Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A c**.... This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Doesn't matter"
Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the ladies pulls out a c**..., cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A c**.... This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get that?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a camel
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Faith healer visits a small town
And sets up a prayer meeting. All the faithful are there and are ready for a miracle.
One man hobbles up and says "I've been lame since I was a boy. Can I be healed?"
The preacher says "All who believe will be healed. Now go behind the curtain"
Another man walks up and says "C-c-can you c-c-c-cure a stuttttttter?"
Preacher says "all who believe will be healed. Now go behind the curtain"
The preacher starts praying then tells the lame man, "throw out your crutches". Two crutches come flying out from behind the curtain. The crowd goes wild!
Then the preacher asks the stutterer "tell us in a loud clear voice, what are you seeing?"
A voice comes from behind the curtain,
"the f-f-f**... f-f-fell flat on his f-f-face"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Camel
Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the ladies pulls out a c**..., cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A c**.... This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get that?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a camel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
condoms used correctly
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a c**..., cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What s that?
Jane: A c**.... This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of c**... she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.
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