Hives Jokes

What are some Hives jokes?

Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the ark hives

How do we know Noah kept bees

All the evidence was in the ark hives

Bees like to stay huddled up together in their hives during the winter


A mailman is working his last day after 20 years of faithful service to a neighborhood.

When he delivers the mail to the first house, the man comes out, hives him some fine cigars and says "So long, I'm really going to miss you."
When he goes to the next house, the woman there comes out and gives him a bottle of fine wine. She too is very sorry to see him go, and tells him she'll miss him. When he comes over to the next house, a beautiful women answers the door, bare naked. She beckons him upstairs and makes the most passionate love to him that he has ever had. She then takes him downstairs and gives him the best breakfast he has ever had. When he's clearing his plate, he notices a dollar bill under the plate. He then says to the woman "This is very nice and all, but I have to ask what this is all about?"

She says "Actually, it was my husbands idea. When I asked him what we should do for you on your last day of work, he said 'Fuck him, give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea.

Corny jokes!

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

A: Because it's two-tired.

Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

A: It becomes daytrogen.

Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?

A: In the Ark Hives!

Q: Can February March?

A: No, but April May.

Q: What is it called when you kill a friend?

A: Homiecide

"Fish tanks are stupid!"


"Fish don't even have any militaries!"

What do you call it when touching iron or copper makes you break out in hives?

A metallurgy

Trees are allergic to bees..

..when bees get too close, [they break out in hives.] (/spoiler)

Original joke!

Apparently I'm allergic to Burt's Bees body wash

Broke out in hives

You know the worst part about being allergic to bees and loving honey?

Breaking into hives

What do bees who are allergic to honey get?


Have you heard about the gay bees with allergies?

They come out in hives.

Why did the bee go to the doctor?

Because he had hives

Badum tsh

A man goes to a psychiatrist over his fear of flying...

He says Doc I'm scared. With everything happening in the world I'm shaking and breaking out in hives just thinking about there being a bomb on my plane! What can I do doc?

Doc: here's what you do, go out and get a bomb and take it on board with you, the chances of Two bombs being on the plane are one in a trillion!

The tree in my front yard is allergic to bees

It always get hives

I am allergic to honey.

It gives me hives.

I'm severely allergic to bees...

...whenever I go near one, I break out in hives!

How to make Hives jokes?

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