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Hitmen Jokes

8 hitmen jokes and hilarious hitmen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hitmen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Hitmen Jokes

What is a good hitmen joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

two Mafia hit-men are walking deep into a forest in the middle of the night

Two Mafia hit-men are walking deep into a forest in the middle of the night.
One of them says: "I gotta admit I'm scared out here."
The other replies: "You're scared... I gotta walk back alone!"

Two mafia hitmen are walking through the forest at night when one of them says

"I have to admit, it's pretty scary out here." The other replies, "You think this is bad? I have to walk back alone."

The mob boss sends two of his men to kill a gangster...

They park outside his house half an hour before his expected return, check their guns, and wait. Half an hour later, the gangster's not there. They keep waiting in silence, an hour passes - and he's not there. Time passes, and the target is still not home. Finally, one of the hitmen looks at the watch and says:
"We've been here for three hours, and he still ain't showed up."
"Jeez," the other hitman says, "I hope nothing happened to him."

Two ukrainian hitmen receive a job...

Two ukrainian hitmen receive a job to kill a new Russian. He was supposed to come around at 6pm, so they arrive there earlier to set up an ambush. At 9pm the
new Russian still has not shown up. So one hitman says to another, "I hope
he is ok''

The worst thing about breaking up with hitmen

Is that they'll make sure they won't miss you

Why do Hitmen have trouble maintaining steady relationships?

Because their dates are always afraid of being taken out.

How much money do hitmen make?

A killing

My friend went to this really prestigious, super expensive prep academy.

I mean these kids are so rich they hire hitmen to do their school shootings.

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