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Hitchhiking Jokes

29 hitchhiking jokes and hilarious hitchhiking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hitchhiking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Hitchhiking Short Jokes

Short hitchhiking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hitchhiking humour may include short hitchhiker jokes also.

  1. Picked up a hitchhiker last night He said thanks! how do you know i'm not a serial killer though?
    I replied the chances of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical
  2. One of my black friends told me this, and I didn't know if I should laugh: What do you call a black hitchhiker? Stranded
  3. I picked up a hitchhiker the other day. He said "you're brave, how do you know I'm not a serial killer?" I said "the chances of two serial killers being in the same car is astronomical"
  4. Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He asked me "How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"
    I responded "Haha! What are the chances there'd be 2 serial killers in 1 car at the same time?"
  5. The hitchhiker A guy with 3 eyes, one leg, and no arms is hitchhiking. Suddenly a nice English gent pulls over and says "eye, eye, eye, you look 'armless, hop in."
  6. I was driving down the highway, and I saw a man hitchhiking with a sign that said Heaven . So I hit him.
  7. I used to hitchhike by the side of the road, but it never got me anywhere. So I started hitchhiking in the middle of the road. Which got me a free bed and some food for a while.
  8. Hitchhiker: Thanks for picking me up, but how do you know I'm not a serial killer? Driver: Well, what would be the odds of two serial killers in the same car?
  9. Picked up a hitch-hiker the other day…… the guy said to me I'm glad you stopped, but you do know i could be a serial killer
    I said, what's the chances of two serial killers in one car
  10. A hitchhiker with 3 eyes, no arms and one leg was standing on the side of the road An Irish man pulls up and says " eye,eye eye you look armless, why don't you hop on in?"

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Hitchhiking One Liners

Which hitchhiking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hitchhiking? I can suggest the ones about riding the bus and road trip.

  1. What do you call a black hitchhiker? Stranded.
  2. What do you tell a hitchhiker with one leg? Hop in
  3. I saw a hitchhiker holding a sign that read "HEAVEN"... ...So I ran him over.
  4. What's the difference between a deer and a hitchhiker? i don't know I was going so fast
  5. A Canadian man went hitchhiking in Italy He wandered aboot for three weeks.
  6. I've never picked up a hitchhiker but not for lack of trying.
  7. How do you feel about hitchhiking? It gets a thumbs up from me.
  8. I travel widely. It's better than saying I'm a fat hitchhiker.
  9. I saw a hitchhiker with a sign that said heaven So I hit him.
  10. I picked up a hitchhiker. You gotta when you hit them.

Hitchhiking joke, I picked up a hitchhiker.

Comical Hitchhiking Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about hitchhiking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car ride jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hitchhiking pranks.

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger. He asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How would you know I'm not a serial killer?".

I told him the chances of two serial killers in a car would be astronomical.

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised I picked up a stranger and asked. Thanks but why'd you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?

I told him the chances of two serial killers in one car would be astronomical.

Picked up a hitch-hiker.

Seemed like a nice guy.
After a few miles, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer?
I told him that the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.

Five minutes after I'd picked him up the hitchhiker turned to me and asked whether I was at all nervous that he could be a m**....

"Not at all", I replied. "What are the odds of both of us being killers?"

Hitchhiking

*Ted stopped on the side of the road after seeing a hitchhiker.*
* **Hitchhiker:** Hello there. Is the city far?
* **Ted:** No.
* **Hitchhiker:** May I get in your car?
* **Ted:** Yes.
*After a couple of hours of driving in silence...*
* **Hitchhiker:** Is the city far?
* **Ted:** Yes, now it is.

A hitchhiker was travelling through Scotland.

The young man was picked up at the side of the road, the driver noticed he was wearing a hat made out of fox pelt.
Where you heading mate?
auchtermuchty
Hop in. By the way what's with the hat?
Well when I told my uncle where I was going he said where the focks 'at?

I picked up a hitchhiker last night.

He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger and asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"
I told him the chances of two serial killers being in one car would be astronomically low

An elderly man walks into a confessional...

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had s**... with each of them three times."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old. I'm telling everybody .

An old man walks into a confessional...

An old man walks into a confessional and says, " I'm 82 years old, have a wonderful wife of 60 years, many children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren. Yesterday I picked up 2 teenage girls hitchhiking, took them to a hotel, and made love to each of them 3 times.
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Then why are you telling me this?"
Man: "I'm telling everybody!"

A Trucker Hates Lawyers so Much That When he Sees Them he Always Runs Them Over

One day he sees a priest hitchhiking and decides to give a ride to the holy man. As they go along the road, the trucker spots a lawyer by the side of the road and steers to run him over. At the last minute he remembers the priest in the truck and swerves away hoping to avoid judgment of his sins.
He says "I'm sorry father, I don't know what came over me!"
The priest replies, "Don't worry, I got him with the door!"

Hitchhiking joke, Picked up a hitch-hiker the other day……