Hitchhiking Jokes
27 hitchhiking jokes and hilarious hitchhiking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hitchhiking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Hitchhiking Short Jokes
Short hitchhiking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hitchhiking humour may include short hitchhiker jokes also.
- One of my black friends told me this, and I didn't know if I should laugh: What do you call a black hitchhiker? Stranded
- The hitchhiker A guy with 3 eyes, one leg, and no arms is hitchhiking. Suddenly a nice English gent pulls over and says "eye, eye, eye, you look 'armless, hop in."
- I used to hitchhike by the side of the road, but it never got me anywhere. So I started hitchhiking in the middle of the road. Which got me a free bed and some food for a while.
- A hitchhiker with 3 eyes, no arms and one leg was standing on the side of the road An Irish man pulls up and says " eye,eye eye you look armless, why don't you hop on in?"
- Some people are dog people, some are cat people. I'm a people person. Just ask the hitchhikers I keep in the kennel out back.
- What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book.
- I was driving along when I saw two hitchhikers. I stopped beside them and said, "Want me to take you home?"
They said, "Yes, please!"
I said, "OK, but you'll have to sleep on my floor." - What did the British guy say to the hitchhiker with three eyes, one leg, and no arms? Aye, Aye, Aye! You look 'armless! Hop in!
- Jackie forever - I'm starting a fund to help build a new hitch-hiking robot, please donate. Every little bit helps.
- I saw Kurt Cobain's hitchhiking along the interstate... ...I told him he could ride shotgun in my car.
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Hitchhiking One Liners
Which hitchhiking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hitchhiking? I can suggest the ones about riding the bus and road trip.
- What's the difference between a deer and a hitchhiker? i don't know I was going so fast
- A Canadian man went hitchhiking in Italy He wandered aboot for three weeks.
- I've never picked up a hitchhiker but not for lack of trying.
- How do you feel about hitchhiking? It gets a thumbs up from me.
- I travel widely. It's better than saying I'm a fat hitchhiker.
- I saw a hitchhiker holding a sign that read "HEAVEN"... ...So I ran him over.
- I saw a hitchhiker with a sign that said heaven So I hit him.
- I picked up a hitchhiker. You gotta when you hit them.
Comical Hitchhiking Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about hitchhiking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car ride jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hitchhiking pranks.
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger. He asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How would you know I'm not a serial killer?".
I told him the chances of two serial killers in a car would be astronomical.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Five minutes after I'd picked him up the hitchhiker turned to me and asked whether I was at all nervous that he could be a m**....
"Not at all", I replied. "What are the odds of both of us being killers?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hitchhiking
*Ted stopped on the side of the road after seeing a hitchhiker.*
* **Hitchhiker:** Hello there. Is the city far?
* **Ted:** No.
* **Hitchhiker:** May I get in your car?
* **Ted:** Yes.
*After a couple of hours of driving in silence...*
* **Hitchhiker:** Is the city far?
* **Ted:** Yes, now it is.
A hitchhiker was travelling through Scotland.
The young man was picked up at the side of the road, the driver noticed he was wearing a hat made out of fox pelt.
Where you heading mate?
auchtermuchty
Hop in. By the way what's with the hat?
Well when I told my uncle where I was going he said where the focks 'at?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly man walks into a confessional...
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had s**... with each of them three times."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old. I'm telling everybody .
A Trucker Hates Lawyers so Much That When he Sees Them he Always Runs Them Over
One day he sees a priest hitchhiking and decides to give a ride to the holy man. As they go along the road, the trucker spots a lawyer by the side of the road and steers to run him over. At the last minute he remembers the priest in the truck and swerves away hoping to avoid judgment of his sins.
He says "I'm sorry father, I don't know what came over me!"
The priest replies, "Don't worry, I got him with the door!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was driving down the highway, and I saw a man hitchhiking with a sign that said Heaven .
So I hit him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was driving across country, when suddenly he saw a hitchhiker.
He picked her up and while they were driving the two of them got talking.
"What do you do?", asked the man.
"I'm a witch", said the hitchhiker.
"One of those, spells, potions and turn people into frogs kind of witches?"
"That's the one".
"Oh yeah? Can you show me?"
She started s**... his inner thigh.
Just like that, the man turned into a hotel.
I was out by the street trying to hitchhike but every single car I stuck my thumb out for just passed me by. I began to wonder if itbhad something to do with the cargo shorts I was wearing.
So I went home and put on some carstop shorts, and had much better success at hitchhiking after that.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a r**... picks up a hitchhiking serial killer
Killer: "Turn down that dark road."
r**...: "I was planning on it..."
Edit - Thank you magnificent stranger for gold!
A couple passed a one-legged hitch-hiker on the highway.
A couple passed a one-legged hitch-hiker on the highway.
The wife suggested they should give him a ride.
Her husband said, "Nope, I tried to give him a ride just the other day. He just screamed and cursed at me."
"I wonder why," she said.
"Don't know," he answered," All I said to him was 'hop in.'"
Two old friends meet on the street one day who haven't seen each other in years...
Tony! Is that you?
Hal! You look terrific! What's your secret?
I hit a hitchhiker late at night three years ago when I was drunk and fled the scene, leaving him for dead.
Um... I meant for looking so young.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is on the side of the road hitchhiking
Two truckers stop and pick him up.
They're driving along and the trucker driving farts. It's completely silent. Then the trucker sitting next to him farts, and it makes no sound at all. The hitchhiker farts, and it's loud enough to shake the whole cab.
Both the truckers turn and yell "v**...!"
