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History Teacher Jokes

36 history teacher jokes and hilarious history teacher puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about history teacher that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest History Teacher Short Jokes

Short history teacher jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The history teacher humour may include short english teacher jokes also.

  1. A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!" "You mean history."
    "Don't change the subject!"
  2. My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay. I got full marx.
  3. A joke from Civil War History Class today Teacher asks: 'The southern plantations were very wealthy. Exactly how much of that wealth did the slaves get?'
    Student answers: 'A whip'
  4. My girlfriend is a history teacher. It's a good job but I have to dump her. She won't stop bringing up the past.
  5. My History teacher got so angry that I couldn't translate the sequence 50,1,5,1,500 into Roman Numerals You could almost say he was Livid.
  6. High school laffs In high school once our history teacher asked who bombed pearl harbor, a Japanese kid raised his hand and the teacher said; correct!
  7. I went for a job as a History Teacher once. I changed my mind though. I couldn't see any future in it.
  8. I used to wonder why my history teachers loved to teach about the Roman Empire so much. I think I get it now. They both hated vandals and goths.
  9. History class joke Teacher: When George was a boy, he chopped down his father's cherry tree, and also admitted it to his father. Why wasn't he punished?
    Student: George still had the axe in his hand
  10. I met a girl the other day and at first she was rather fun to be around but now she won't stop bringing up the past, It's never been the same since she got that history teacher job.

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History Teacher One Liners

Which history teacher one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with history teacher? I can suggest the ones about science teacher and biology teacher.

  1. I'm pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers They only care about the dead
  2. What's the worst part about history class? Teachers tend to Babylon
  3. My least favorite subject in school was Ancient History. The teachers tended to Babylon

Share Hilarious History Teacher Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about history teacher you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean math teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make history teacher pranks.

The year is 2540, a student notices something odd about his history book

How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999? He asks
The teacher puts down his marker, lowers his head and sighs.
Because... he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, ...only 90's kids remember the 90's

My history teacher told us that if a nuclear bomb was closely approaching, being flexible would be very helpful.

It's so that you can bend your body and kiss your a**... goodbye.

I made this joke up on the way home from work, sorry if it s**...: A history teacher tells a failing student that those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Student: But history is so boring!
Teacher: Well, if you don't do better you'll be retaking it next year.
Student: What??
Teacher: I TOLD you, those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it!

A teacher asked her kindergartens...

Who the most important person in history is and whoever gets it right gets 5 dollars, one of the kids yells, "Abe Lincoln." The teacher smiles and shakes her head no, another kid yells, "George Washington." Again, the teacher shakes her head. The class becomes quiet as they all begin to think before one of the children goes, "jesus!" The teacher responds."That's right! But wait, aren't you jewish?" To which the child goes, "well, the correct answer is Moses, but business is business."

the most famous person in the history of the world

The teacher addressed his class,"I'll give five dollars to anybody who can name the most famous person in the history of the world."
An Irish boy raised his hand and said,"St. Patrick."
"Sorry Seamus, that's not correct."
Then a French boy raised his hand and said,"Napoleon."
The teacher replied,"I'm sorry, Jean, that's not right either."
Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and answered,"Jesus Christ."
"That's right, David! You win the five dollars. Congratulations!" As the teacher was handing over the cash he said,"You know David, I'm surprised you said Jesus Christ."
"Yeah, in my heart I knew it was Moses. But business is business."

I went to my school reunion last weekend and the main topic of conversation was still about the stunning substitute teacher…

…we had one day, in the early eighties, who gave a boy a b**... in front of the entire class.
She went down in history.

Back when Stormy Daniels was in high school, none of her fellow classmen realized she would go down in history.

Guys were usually getting it in the gym locker room or behind the teacher's parking lot.

A teacher was going over the history syllabus.

The teacher says to the class "We will be learning about history for the next 6 months. Each month I will teach a different decade. We will cover the 1940s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and 2000-2010".
A student puts her hand up and asks "what about the '90s?". The teacher replies saying "only 90s kids remember the 90s".

Popsicle

Me and Willard in the third grade got us a popsicle just as lunch was ending, We didn't have time to eat em so we just stuck em in our pocket. Later in class the history teacher ask Willard. If you're from America you are an American, what are you if you are from Europe? Willard looked confused and he didn't know the answer. To help, I whispered Willard, European, European! He looked at me and said I ain't done it, it's that d**... ole popsicle,

Pirate joke

A teacher is giving a history lesson on pirates. He asks the students a question.
"What is a pirates favorite letter".
A student's excitedly shouts " R "!
Teacher replys "You would think it's R but it's the C they love".

Have you heard how w**... Nelson died?

He was playing on the road again.
-my music history teacher.

A school teacher invited a Native American to give a presentation to his students about their culture

After discussing history, traditions and lifestyle, the conversation turned to language.
"One of the interesting things about our language," he said, "is that there are no cuss words."
"But then what do you say if you are hammering a nail and accidentally hit your finger?" asked a student.
"In that case," he replied, "we use your language."

Zoology teacher was asked to substitute history teacher's class since he was on leave..

And so he did..
Describe Shahajahan's wife Mumtaz with a neat diagram and label the parts

Did you hear about the blonde who got detention for flirting with boys in class?

She told the teacher she wanted to go down in history...

Its the year 2500 and students are in history.

A student asks the teacher why is there a gap in the textbook between 1990 and 1999 and the teacher answers because only 90's kids remember.

Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?

She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.

IAmA teacher, and the other day I messed up by hiring the wrong substitute for my history class.

Whoops, wrong sub.

I got my history and book reports confused.

No wonder why teachers wanted to know why it was titiled "King leopold II: Destroyer of 3rd world"

My history teacher told me a joke about WW2 today...

If you have unknown troops in front of you and you want to find out who they are, fire a few rounds in their direction.
If you are met with precision machine gun fire, they're German.
If you are met by a volley of precision rifle fire, they are British.
If they surrender, they're Italian.
If there is a mass wave of infantry and tanks, they're Russian.
If there is a bayonet and sword charge, they're Japanese.
If everything is quiet for a minute or two, and suddenly you are in the middle of a massive artillery barrage and air strikes, they are American.

My history teacher always makes this joke so I just wanted to share it. Government conferences shouldn't be called conferences.

They should be called government man dates.

jokes about history teacher