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History Class Jokes

36 history class jokes and hilarious history class puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about history class that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest History Class Short Jokes

Short history class jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The history class humour may include short history subject jokes also.

  1. 8 years ago I worked up the courage to ask the shy, beautiful girl who sat next to me in history class to be my girlfriend. Today, I asked her to be my wife. She said no both times.
  2. In history class today, I learned about Galileo... I already knew that he was a poor boy, from a poor family...
  3. A joke from Civil War History Class today Teacher asks: 'The southern plantations were very wealthy. Exactly how much of that wealth did the slaves get?'
    Student answers: 'A whip'
  4. In my history class my professor was talking about the American dream. He asked the German kid if they had a German dream. He responded "Well, we did but no one likes it."
  5. In history class we got to read on a WW2 topic of our choice. I chose the Manhattan Project. I heard it was the bomb.
  6. History class joke Teacher: When George was a boy, he chopped down his father's cherry tree, and also admitted it to his father. Why wasn't he punished?
    Student: George still had the axe in his hand
  7. I thought of this one in history class today The thing about communist jokes is that everyone has to get them.
  8. Sometimes I really do regret taking history and geography Every time I'd enter the class room I would exclaim 'oh the humanities!'
  9. At first I didn't think I needed my History course on Columbus's ships bringing harmful insects to America. But it ended up being an import ant class.
  10. Black History Month A kid in my class asked why we had a Black History Month and not a White History Month.
    I told him we had eleven.

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History Class One Liners

Which history class one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with history class? I can suggest the ones about history teacher and history.

  1. What's the worst part about history class? Teachers tend to Babylon
  2. Yo mama is so old that that when she was in school there was no history class!

Silly & Ridiculous History Class Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about history class you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean world history jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make history class pranks.

r**... Logic Joke

Two r**..., Hunter and c**... decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.
"What's logic?" the c**... asked.
The counselor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a w**... eater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the counselor.
"That's real good!" said c**....
The counselor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, c**... said, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"
c**... was catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the counselor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"
c**..., proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Hunter was still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked Hunter.
"Math, history, and logic!" replied c**....
"What in tarnation is logic?" asked Hunter.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a w**... eater?" asked c**....
"No," Hunter replied.
"Then you're gay."

A teacher asked her kindergartens...

Who the most important person in history is and whoever gets it right gets 5 dollars, one of the kids yells, "Abe Lincoln." The teacher smiles and shakes her head no, another kid yells, "George Washington." Again, the teacher shakes her head. The class becomes quiet as they all begin to think before one of the children goes, "jesus!" The teacher responds."That's right! But wait, aren't you jewish?" To which the child goes, "well, the correct answer is Moses, but business is business."

the most famous person in the history of the world

The teacher addressed his class,"I'll give five dollars to anybody who can name the most famous person in the history of the world."
An Irish boy raised his hand and said,"St. Patrick."
"Sorry Seamus, that's not correct."
Then a French boy raised his hand and said,"Napoleon."
The teacher replied,"I'm sorry, Jean, that's not right either."
Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and answered,"Jesus Christ."
"That's right, David! You win the five dollars. Congratulations!" As the teacher was handing over the cash he said,"You know David, I'm surprised you said Jesus Christ."
"Yeah, in my heart I knew it was Moses. But business is business."

random pandemic question

According to history class, they organized wild o**... in the Middle Ages after the victory over the plague. Is there anything planned yet? I ask for a friend.

I went to my school reunion last weekend and the main topic of conversation was still about the stunning substitute teacher…

…we had one day, in the early eighties, who gave a boy a b**... in front of the entire class.
She went down in history.

Joke from my jazz history class: You are stuck on an island with h**..., Stalin, and Kenny G. You have a gun, but you only have two bullets. What do you do?

You shoot Kenny G. Twice.

People say that s**... ed classes in America are uncomfortable. But I think that history classes in Germany are worse.

"Hey kids, you'll never guess what your grandparents did..."

A teacher was going over the history syllabus.

The teacher says to the class "We will be learning about history for the next 6 months. Each month I will teach a different decade. We will cover the 1940s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and 2000-2010".
A student puts her hand up and asks "what about the '90s?". The teacher replies saying "only 90s kids remember the 90s".

One day, Hot Dog Bun Boy came home from school...

His mother saw him come in looking pretty glum and asked, "What's the matter Hot Dog Bun Boy? Did something happen?"
Hot Dog Bun Boy replied, "I was in my history class and it's so frustrating that there are no lessons at all about Hot Dog Buns like us! It's so unfair!"
The mother came up to Hot Dog Bun Boy and gave him a consoling hug. She then said, "I know son, it's not fair. But in the end, history is written by the wieners."

Popsicle

Me and Willard in the third grade got us a popsicle just as lunch was ending, We didn't have time to eat em so we just stuck em in our pocket. Later in class the history teacher ask Willard. If you're from America you are an American, what are you if you are from Europe? Willard looked confused and he didn't know the answer. To help, I whispered Willard, European, European! He looked at me and said I ain't done it, it's that d**... ole popsicle,

Today in History class we learned that evil s**... traders used to lure and capture Kalahari bushmen by speaking their language to draw them out in the open.

A terrible, early form of click bait.

Zoology teacher was asked to substitute history teacher's class since he was on leave..

And so he did..
Describe Shahajahan's wife Mumtaz with a neat diagram and label the parts

Did you hear about the blonde who got detention for flirting with boys in class?

She told the teacher she wanted to go down in history...

Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?

She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.

IAmA teacher, and the other day I messed up by hiring the wrong substitute for my history class.

Whoops, wrong sub.

There's a strange look of satisfaction from alot of dudes coming from that class...

I guess a lot of girls wanted to go down in history.

When i was a kid i thought the past was in black and white

But history class taught me that it was only white.

Only people who paid attention in history class will remember...

What work of ancient law is the Roman Twelve Tables similar to?
The Code of Harambe

Your typical rock band

In my history of Rock and Roll class, chapter 13 focused on the early rock artists post punk era. At the very beginning of the chapter the band King Crimson is briefly mentioned, they seemed to have qualities that later artist would adopt and were quite popular, with songs such as 21 century schizoid boy, I talk to the wind, and In the court of King Crimson (my favorite by the band). However they didn't blow up as much as later rock artists such as Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, and AC/DC. They're more so seen as a footnote of that era because of this. I suppose King Crimson was ahead of their time in that regards, but only by like 10 seconds.

History class in Russia

During a history lesson, the teacher asks her students, OK class, who knows what event, consequential for the history and culture of the Russian people, took place in 1799?
From the back of the class, a student raises his hand and answers, Our greatest poet Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin was born.
The teacher replies, Very good Misha! Now can anyone tell me what other momentous event took place in 1812?
Misha again raises his hand and says, That's easy! Our greatest poet Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin turned 13.

Based on a true story.

Back in 2010, I had this history teacher who hated me. He would always single me out and pick on me in front of the class, and as a result I hated his lessons and ended up failing.
One day he decided I wasn't paying enough attention in class, and decided to punish me. I can't say I was surprised by this, but his methods were rather unconventional.
My teacher decided the best way to punish me, a failing student, for not paying attention in class, was to have me do a presentation on a topic not covered in the curriculum. I was completely taken aback because this form of punishment was unheard of.
The topic in question?
The Spanish Inquisition.

Russian history joke, maybe not for everyone but my Soviet studies professor told it in class and I had to share.

Josef Stalin, Nikita Khruschev, and Leonid Bresnev are riding together on a train headed towards Communism.
Suddenly the train grinds to a halt. The three leaders are annoyed, most of all Stalin, who immediately orders the train's personnel executed. Still, the train does not move.
Khruschev stands up and tells Stalin he is wrong and his way is the best way to restart the train. He has the crew posthumously reanimated. Still, the train does not move.
Now some time has gone by and the leaders are becoming irate, that is, except for Bresnev, who now believes he knows exactly how to restart the train and arrive at Communism.
He stands up and moves to the window of the train. He lifts the curtain and says, "Comrades, the best way to make it Communism is to look out this window, and pretend the train is moving."

jokes about history class