Hipster Jokes
150 hipster jokes and hilarious hipster puns to laugh out loud. Read professions jokes about hipster that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh along with some of the funniest hipster jokes around! Covering topics like hipster coffee, indie music, hipster beards, nerds, and more- this article has something for everyone. Get ready for some classic hipster jokes and roasts!
Quick Jump To
- Short Hipster Jokes
- Hipster One Liners
- You Are So Hipster Jokes
- Hipster Coffee Jokes
- Hipster Beard Jokes
- More Hipster Jokes
Funniest Hipster Short Jokes
Short hipster jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hipster humour may include short hoot jokes also.
- I called two girls hipsters and got slapped. Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
- I angered two people by calling them hipsters... Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.
- Hipsters I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is "conjoined twins".
- How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? Honestly, it's a pretty obscure number. I doubt you've ever heard of it.
- Authorities close investigation on the group of hipsters found dead in a pond last week. Turns out they were ice skating before it was cool.
- Did y'all hear about the group of hipsters who drowned at the pond? Turns out they were ice skating before it was cool
- Why do hipsters always burn their mouths eating pizza? They got into it before it was cool.
- Why did the hipster burn his mouth while drinking coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool
- I saw a hipster walking outside in the cold. He didn't have a jacket on, so I asked him why.
He said he was outside before it was cool. - How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number and you've probably never heard of it.
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Hipster One Liners
Which hipster one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hipster? I can suggest the ones about phony and avatar.
- Why is the hipster sweating? Because he wore a scarf before it was cool.
- How do You Drown a Hipster? Throw him into the mainstream.
- Why did the hipster fall into the lake? He went ice skating before it was cool.
- What's the worst thing to say to a hipster? You remind me of someone
- How did the Hawaiian hipster die? He walked on lava before it was cool.
- Why do hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark? Because it's the first Indy movie.
- How did the hipster burn his lips? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
- Why did the hipster drown, when he was iceskating? He was skating before it was cool
- How many hipsters does it take to fix a heater? None. They did it before it was cool.
- How did the hipster drown? He ice-skated before it was cool.
- What's a hipster's favorite kind of cigarette? Yours.
- Why do hipsters hate ice skating? They could never do it before it was cool
- Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery? The anesthesia wasn't local.
- What do hipsters use for birth control? Their personalities
- what's the best place to drown a hipster? in the main stream
You Are So Hipster Jokes
Here is a list of funny you are so hipster jokes and even better you are so hipster puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you get a hipster to take a shower? Give them a leaky showerhead.
You know, so they can avoid the main stream. - Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool.
- What did the hipster say about the Chilean miners? I liked them so much better when they were underground.
- Why did the hipster get burned when he drank his coffee? The barista make a joke about sleeping with his mother.
- If a hipster falls on the forest, does it make a sound? Yes...but you've probably never heard it before.
- The two girls I met at a party were quite upset when I called them hipsters. Apparently, the correct term is 'conjoined twins'.
- Why don't hipsters like rivers? Too mainstream
- Why did the hipsters die of dehydration? They stayed away from the mainstream.
- Why did the creepy hipster get arrested? because he was following people before instagram
- How heavy is a hipster? One thousand instagrams
Hipster Coffee Jokes
Here is a list of funny hipster coffee jokes and even better hipster coffee puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do you always burn your tongue on coffee from the new Hipster coffee shop? Because you were drinking it before it was cool.
- Why did the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee? Because he's an idiot.
- How did the hipster burn his tongue? He was drinking coffee before it was cool.
- How did the hipster burn his mouth? He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
- Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he drank designer coffee before it was cool.
- A hipster coffee shop would be a terrible idea. Everyone would burn their tongues because they would drink the coffee before it was cool.
- The hipster burnt his tongue He must've drank his coffee before it was cool
- To be a hipster is to live in constant suffering You spend all your time in coffee shops, but you always have to drink your coffee before it's cool.
- Why did the coffee burn the hipster? Because it was hot.
- have you heard about the hipster who burnt his mouth? He drank coffee before it was cool
Hipster Beard Jokes
Here is a list of funny hipster beard jokes and even better hipster beard puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the hipster shave off his beard? To keep cool during the summer…
- Kind of surprised hipsters haven't started tying their beard's in man buns yet.
- What do you call a female hipster? A bearded clam.
Hilarious Hipster Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about hipster you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pies jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hipster pranks.
My friend told me he thought I was a hipster.
I told him I thought I was a hipster way before he did.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He bit into his pizza before it was cool.
So I went to my Hipster drug dealer last night...
He gave me an instagram
How much does a hipster weigh?
an instagram
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(snicker) *You don't know?*
I have a joke about a hipster
...you've probably never heard it.
Q: How much mass is in a single hipster?
A: An Instagram
I pushed a hipster down the stairs today...
He's still Tumbling!
Hipster Jokes!
Why did the hipster float down the tributary?
Because the river was too mainstream.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Some obscure number you've never heard of.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth when he ate pizza?
Because he ate it before it was cool.
Why didn't the hipster want to see the Saint John River and the Penobscot River?
They're two Maine streams.
Why does the hipster make c**... coffee?
The beans are always under-ground.
Why are hipsters such great assassins?
Because they hide the bodies in places no one has ever heard of.
How do you kill a hipster?
Drown him in the main stream.
A hipster actually told me this one.
Did you hear about the castrated hipster?
He had a very e**... style.
Why was the hipster wearing a scarf during the summer?
He liked wearing scarves before it got cool.
Two hipsters walk into a bar.
The first did it before it was cool. The second did it ironically.
Two hipsters walked into a bar...
The first went in before it was popular and the second was only being ironic.
Hipsters never go white water rafting
It's too main stream.
h**... a hipster with 3 words
Breathing is mainstream.
Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again?
He's been underground for five years now.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to do it before it gets cool, and one to talk about how much better the old one used to be.
Why do hipsters only use the microwave?
Because they don't like conventional ovens.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He started eating before it was cool.
How did the hipster burn their tongue?
They drank their tea before it was cool.
One atom asks a hipster atom, "Hey, did you lose an electron?"
The hipster atom replies, "No, I'm just being ionic."
How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change bulbs and 3 to sit around and complain that the original was better.
Where will you never find a hipster fish?
The mainstream
If a hipster falls in the middle of the woods and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Yeah, but you've probably never heard it before.
Where do hipsters fish?
I don't know, just not on the main stream.
So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car.
The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.
Why did the Hipster order piping hot soup?
He wanted to eat it before it was cool.
What branch of the military did the hipster join?
The Salvation Army.
Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford?
Because he's Indie!
I got punched in the face by a hipster today...
I yelled "Bro, that's not cool!"
He replied, "not yet".
If a tree falls in the woods....
.....and no one is around to hear it.
Will a hipster buy the soundtrack?
What do you call an old person trying to fit in with today's kids?
A dislocated hipster.
Why don't hipsters live in Alaska?
Everything is cool there already.
My dad is teaching me to be a hipster
He told me to e**... food before its cool.
What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving?
I liked the leftovers before they were cool.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate pizza before it was cool
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
It's a really obscure number that you've probably never heard of. I'd explain it but you probably wouldn't get it.
Why do hipsters burn their lips when they drink tea?
Because they drink it before it's cool.
A hipster politician was found dead today of an apparent s**....
He won the popular vote and just couldn't handle it.
How do you cut down a hipster tree?
A suuh dude!
What's a hipsters favorite season?
Summer, they like it before it's cool
How do you create a hipster?
Give a homeless guy an iPhone.
Why do hipsters love field hockey?
Because it's ice hockey before it gets cool.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You wouldn't know, it's *kiiiiind of* an obscure number.
Why did the hipster die in Pripyat?
He went into reactor 4 before it was cool
Why is s**... with a hipster so boring?
Because they don't like things that are in.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
Because he ate his food before it was cool.
What do you call a disabled hipster?
A cripster.
I shot a hipster in his leg
now he's a hopster.
All the hipsters love Steve Jobs
...now that he's underground.
I shot a hipster in the foot
now she's a hopster
Why are so many hipsters sweaty?
They put on their winter coats before it's cool.
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ya, it's a really obscure number, it's not used that often, you probably wouldn't know it....
Why'd the pizza hipster have a burnt tongue?
He ate it before it was cool.
