Hips Jokes
129 hips jokes and hilarious hips puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hips that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you love big hips, then you will love these hilarious jokes about them! Read some of the funniest jokes about hips, gluteus, legs, and rattlers. Get ready to crack up with these sidesplitting gags!
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Funniest Hips Short Jokes
Short hips jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hips humour may include short legs jokes also.
- A judge asked Shakira if she commited tax fraud. Shakira: "Of course not your Honor."
Shakiras Hips:"Of course we did your Honor." - I just had hip replacement surgery It's a really new procedure; you've probably never heard of it.
- The other day a girl asked me if I like b**... or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed p**... with thin lips... So I got kicked out of KFC.
- My grandma just walked into my room with a young barista wearing thick rimmed glasses. I said, Who is that?
Grandma: That's my hip replacement. - Who's the coolest guy at the hospital? - The Ultra Sound guy
*Bonus*
Who covers for him when he isn't there?
- The Hip Replacement guy - Why was Dre's grandma so happy when she found out his career choice? Because there was finally a Doctor in the family who could perform her hip op.
- I saw your post about the prostate exam and ease you this. When you're getting your prostate exam, make sure the doctor only has ONE hand on your hip...
- A programmer won a contest.... ... by getting the 0th position. Hip hip Array!!
(Happy new year everyone!) - So many people try to be hip To me it is kind of a waist
- You heard about the green onion who started a hip hop career? He was a real rapscallion.
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Hips One Liners
Which hips one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hips? I can suggest the ones about heels and ship.
- Giving birth is terrible for a cow's hips… …but it's great for their calves.
- What breaks when you give it to a twelve year old? Her hips.
- What's a spring flower's favorite type of music? Tulip-hip hop!
- Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital? The hip doctor.
- How did the programmer celebrate his birthday? var celebration = ["Hip", "Hip"];
- What kid of music do old people listen to? Hip-Pop
- [ Hip , Hip ] Hip hip array
- My Hip Hop name is DJ Green Onion. But you can call me Rapscallion.
- What do you call a one legged rapper? A Hip-Hop artist
- How do old people become cool again? Hip replacements!
- What does an aging Sith lord with a bad hip use to get around? An Imperial Walker
- Who takes over when the Ultrasound man is on leave? The Hip Replacement Guy.
- I'm so hip... I'm practically a pelvis!
- What did the femur say to the pelvis? Well, this is a hip joint!.
- Why is anger the new hip emotion? It's all the rage.
Big Hips Jokes
Here is a list of funny big hips jokes and even better big hips puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call dinosaur with big hips? A Volupturaptor.
Comical & Quirky Hips Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about hips you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean arms jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hips pranks.
Why did the hipster drink warm beer?
He liked it before it was cool.
So I went to my Hipster drug dealer last night...
He gave me an instagram
Why do hipsters prefer to drink their PBR warm?
So that they can say they liked it before it was cool.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(snicker) *You don't know?*
Hipster Jokes!
Why did the hipster float down the tributary?
Because the river was too mainstream.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Some obscure number you've never heard of.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth when he ate pizza?
Because he ate it before it was cool.
Why didn't the hipster want to see the Saint John River and the Penobscot River?
They're two Maine streams.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does the hipster make c**... coffee?
The beans are always under-ground.
Why are hipsters such great assassins?
Because they hide the bodies in places no one has ever heard of.
If a hipster falls on the forest, does it make a sound?
Yes...but you've probably never heard it before.
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just some obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.
Actually it only takes one, but he burnt his fingers because he removed he old one before it was cool.
Why won't hipsters listen to the Beatles until Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney die?
Because they only want to listen to the Beatles when they're underground.
Why was the hipster wearing a scarf during the summer?
He liked wearing scarves before it got cool.
Two hipsters walk into a bar.
The first did it before it was cool. The second did it ironically.
Why did the hipster get burned when he drank his coffee?
The barista make a joke about sleeping with his mother.
Two hipsters walked into a bar...
The first went in before it was popular and the second was only being ironic.
Hipsters never go white water rafting
It's too main stream.
I'm such a hipster...
I'm such a hipster that I won't listen to the Beatles until they're all dead. That way I can say I was a fan when they were underground.
Hipster Caveman
Went clubbing before it was cool.
Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again?
He's been underground for five years now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to do it before it gets cool, and one to talk about how much better the old one used to be.
Why do hipsters only use the microwave?
Because they don't like conventional ovens.
If the Hipster fad were to end...
Would we even hear about it?
What breaks when you give it to a baby?
Its hips.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does the hipster serial killer do?
Has s**... with the bodies before they're cool.
How do hipsters buy their drugs?
by the instagram.
A hipster coffee shop would be a terrible idea.
Everyone would burn their tongues because they would drink the coffee before it was cool.
How do you get a hipster to take a shower?
Give them a leaky showerhead.
You know, so they can avoid the main stream.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change bulbs and 3 to sit around and complain that the original was better.
I saw a hipster walking outside in the cold.
He didn't have a jacket on, so I asked him why.
He said he was outside before it was cool.
Why don't hipsters like fishing?
It's too mainstream.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do hipsters use for birth control?
Their personalities
Why do hipsters only buy games from GOG?
Because other stores are too mainSteam.
Why is the hipster sweating?
Because he wore a scarf before it was cool.
Why do hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark?
Because it's the first Indy movie.
What did the hipster astronaut say when his space mission arrived at the Sun?
Not cool.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do hipsters drink their Jello?
They want to have it before it's cool.
Where do hipsters fish?
I don't know, just not on the main stream.
How do hipsters measure weight?
In Instagrams.
So a Hipster goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Smart Car.
The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.
To be a hipster is to live in constant suffering
You spend all your time in coffee shops, but you always have to drink your coffee before it's cool.
Why did the Hipster order piping hot soup?
He wanted to eat it before it was cool.
He's got blue suede shoes and his hips don't lie. Who is he?
Pelvis Presley.
Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford?
Because he's Indie!
Why do Hipsters wear long pants in the summer
They are doing it before it's cool
Why don't hipsters live in Alaska?
Everything is cool there already.
Why did the hipster break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't have all the 7" he kept talking about.
Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?
He didnt use the main stream
Why did the hipster mermaid leave the sea?
It was too current.
why was the hipster hurt by the light bulb ?
He changed it before it was cool.
What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving?
I liked the leftovers before they were cool.
Why do hipsters hate ice skating?
They could never do it before it was cool
Why don't hipsters like rivers?
Too mainstream
What is a hipster russian roulette?
You got six cookies and five of them is gluten free.
Why did the hipster die?
someone told him billions of people were alive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator?
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator?
Grease her hips, and throw in a t**....
Why did the hipsters die of dehydration?
They stayed away from the mainstream.
Why do hipsters burn their lips when they drink tea?
Because they drink it before it's cool.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many hipsters does it take to screw a lightbulb?
It's such an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it. And besides, lightbulbs are so mainstream. Kerosene lamps are more true to my inner being.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's a really obscure number and you've probably never heard of it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A hipster politician was found dead today of an apparent s**....
He won the popular vote and just couldn't handle it.
What's a hipsters favorite season?
Summer, they like it before it's cool
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIFU by complimenting a co-worker's womanly hips.
Get over it, Steve.
Why do hipsters love field hockey?
Because it's ice hockey before it gets cool.
Why did the hipster love water?
Because he only liked ice it before it was cool.
Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery?
The anesthesia wasn't local.
Why did the hipster fall into the lake?
He went ice skating before it was cool.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When did the hipster join klux k**...?
Before it was ku.
Why did the hipster die in Pripyat?
He went into reactor 4 before it was cool
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wonder Woman
Batman is talking to the Flash. "Hey, Flash, did you hear about Wonder Woman? She was lying on the roof of her building n**... moving her hips in a suggestive manner. Superman was flying by and saw her. He took off his clothes, flew down and landed right on top."
Flash says, "Boy, I bet Wonder Woman was surprised."
Batman answers, "Not nearly as surprised as the invisible man!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb
None. The place looks better in the dark.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A r**... and a midget get into an accident
The midget gets out of his car, hands on his hips and squeaks angrily, "I am not happy!"
The r**... spits and drawls "so which one are you?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many hipsters does it take to fix a heater?
None. They did it before it was cool.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do hipsters hate Wesley Crusher?
Because they're Wheaton intolerant.
What does a hipster Jew do in his free time?
He brews.
All the hipsters love Steve Jobs
...now that he's underground.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My first time having s**..., was like my first time playing golf.
It seemed like I was doing bad at first, but my dad helped me along the way saying, "it's all in the hips".
Why did the hipster burn his mouth while drinking coffee?
Because he drank it before it was cool
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do hipsters prefer m**... over c**...?
They only buy local.
Why are so many hipsters sweaty?
They put on their winter coats before it's cool.
How did the hipster ghost act on his first date.
Supernatural.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hipsters like to do things that nobody else has done.
If only s**... wasn't a thing.
