The Best 27 Hippos Jokes

Following is our collection of Hippos jokes which are very funny. There are some hippos hippo jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hippos drawback puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Humans are scared of hippos because they're violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year, when in reality, people kill way more people per year...

...so that's just being hippocritical...

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water.

Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A hippos really heavy, and a Zippos a little lighter.

What do you call a university for hippos?

A hippocampus

I went to weight watchers last night, I opened a bag of maltesers and threw them on the floor

Best game of hungry hippos I've ever seen


Why do you never see hippos hiding in trees

Because they're very good at it.

Because hippos are surprisingly dangerous, zoologists use the Pythagorean theorem to calculate the length of their backs.

This is called finding the hippotenuse.

Why does no one ever see hippos hiding in a tree?

Because they're so good at it

What do you call a government of hippos?

Hippocracy.

Where do hippos go to college?

The hippocampus

I got kicked out of the zoo

Apparently "real" hippos don't eat marbles

Top Hippos Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore hippos leopards reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hippos rarest dad jokes. There are also hippos puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My Grandpa has Parkinsons

He's not able to do much but he beats me at every game of Hungry Hungry Hippos

People want to help hippos and conserve them, while others dislike hippos for attacking humans.

Why are people so hippo-critical?

Where do hippos go to school?

The Hippocampus!

What's a Mexican's favourite board game?

Hombre Hombre Hippos

How do you play a big game of Hungry Hippos?

Go to a weight watchers meeting and roll Maltesers down the middle of their meeting circle.

What do you call a fat person who judges hippos?

Hippo-critical.

Why can't you ever spot a hippo hiding in a tree?

Because hippos can't climb trees.

How do you make a hippopotamus float?

2 hippos and a LOT of root beer.


Where do Hippos study?

At the hippocampus.

Ninja level hiding skills!

Why do you never see Hippos hiding up in trees??

Because they are so darn good at it.

Did you know hippos kill more people than sharks every year?

No one has ever seen a hippo kill a shark.

Why do hungry hippos eat marbles?

Because they are a well-rounded diet.

Unhappy with the lion's rule, the hippos decided to create a new government after themselves

Sadly, it often contradicted itself

Another joke I just came up with :)

Where do alcoholic hippos go for help?

Hipponymous...

My jokes aim toward to lowest funny bone.

Where do hippos go to learn?

The hippocampus.

What do we learn from Cows, Hippos and elephant?

It's impossible to reduce weight by eating grass and walking.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hippos crocodile jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hippos hyena piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes