Hippo Jokes
80 hippo jokes and hilarious hippo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hippo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this list of biology-inspired hippo jokes! Whether you're a fan of the classic board game Hungry Hungry Hippo or the Jungle Cruise ride, you're sure to find a joke you'll love. From Elephino to Mammal the Wise, get ready to laugh it up with these hippo puns!
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Funniest Hippo Short Jokes
Short hippo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hippo humour may include short hippy jokes also.
- Humans are scared of hippos because they're violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year, when in reality, people kill way more people per year... ...so that's just being hippocritical...
- What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's big and heavy, the other's a little lighter.
- What's the difference between a hippo, a zippo, and a stick of glue? One is a heavy mammal and one is a little lighter.
- Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
- Hippos can swim and run faster than humans. What does this mean? The bycicle is the only way to beat then in a triathlon.
- TIL, Hippos can run faster than humans on land and swimmer faster in water But still you can defeat them in a triathlon as they don't know how to ride a bicycle
- a pretty bad joke my dad once told me what do you get when you cross a elephant, rhino, and a hippo?
helliphino - The difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
- Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water. Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.
- What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One weighs about 2 tonnes and the other is a little lighter!
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Hippo One Liners
Which hippo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hippo? I can suggest the ones about elephant and giraffe.
- What did the hippo say when another called it fat? *"That's very hippocritical of you."*
- What do you call a university for hippos? A hippocampus
- Why do you never see hippos hiding in trees Because they're very good at it.
- What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant, and a rhino? Helefino.
- What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? A zippo is a little lighter.
- What do you call a hippo that nobody knows? A hippononymous
- Why does no one ever see hippos hiding in a tree? Because they're so good at it
- What do you call a hippo that swears? A hippopottymouth
- What time is it when a hippo sits on your hat? Time for a new hat.
- What do you call a government of hippos? Hippocracy.
- What do you call a hippo who says something and does the complete opposite? A hippocrite
- From my son: What did the hippopotamus do to the magician? He hippo-tized him!
- I got kicked out of the zoo Apparently "real" hippos don't eat marbles
- Where do hippos go to college? The hippocampus
- What do you call a hippo that tells other hippos to not be aggressive? A hippocrite.
Hungry Hungry Hippo Jokes
Here is a list of funny hungry hungry hippo jokes and even better hungry hungry hippo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I went to weight watchers last night, I opened a bag of maltesers and threw them on the floor Best game of hungry hippos I've ever seen
- Did you know there is a Hungry Hippo that was a US Military Veteran? Yeah! He fought in VietNOM-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM
- My Grandpa has Parkinsons He's not able to do much but he beats me at every game of Hungry Hungry Hippos
- How do you play a big game of Hungry Hippos? Go to a weight watchers meeting and roll Maltesers down the middle of their meeting circle.
- Why do hungry hippos eat marbles? Because they are a well-rounded diet.
- I met a Hippo in Los Angeles wearing fishnets and a tank top She referred to herself as a Hungry Hungry Clitpo
- You know what they say about hungry hippos... It was modeled after a date with OP's mom.
- So, you say wanna be a hungry hungry hippo? Then that hippo p**...'s a must.
Cheeky Hippo Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about hippo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gorilla jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hippo pranks.
Where do hippos go to school?
The Hippocampus!
I went to a restaurant with my wife last night and ordered the Hippo soup.
I'm still not sure what I'm going to order for myself.
Hippocrates and the Prophet
Tiresias, blind prophet of Apollo, once went to Hippocrates with a serious case of depression. In no time, Hippocrates had figured it out -- "Aha!" said he; "an imbalance of black bile!" He bled the excess melancholia into an urn and handed it to the prophet. Tiresias did not see the humour.
How do you know if a hippo is in your oven?
The door won't close
If a hippo was studying to be a neurosurgeon what school would the hippo go to?
The Hippocampus!
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A hippo weighs a ton while a zippo is a little lighter.
Did you know hippos kill more people than sharks every year?
No one has ever seen a hippo kill a shark.
I hate it when...
people refer to themselves as animal containers.
and yes I'm a hippo crate.
Why can't you ever spot a hippo hiding in a tree?
Because hippos can't climb trees.
Whats the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
A Hippo weighs 700lbs but a Zippos a little lighter
What results when you cross a Hippo and a Crocodile?
Pretty sure you die.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus?
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
I got the veterinarian at the zoo fired after he told me about performing a r**... exam.
I promptly called the zoo administrators and reported the HIPPO violation.
Did you hear about the hippo on trial for m**...?
He's currently in de Nile.
Where does a hippopotamus live if he wants to study brain surgery in college?
A hippo-campus
Where do Hippos study?
At the hippocampus.
Let's play name the title
Jokes are reposted so many times here, so name the titles of these punchlines
1. Ones a hippo and ones a little lighter
2. How far do you think I can kick this bucket?
3. Obviously not
4. But it wasn't stroganoff
5. Sam sung note 7
6. Measles
7. We went out and had a few drinks. Cool guy, wanted to become a web designer.
8. I wore the wrong sock this morning
9. Unless everyone gets them
10. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for life.
TIL about the hyperactive hippopotamus with hypoglycemia
The hyper-hypo hippo.
Why don't you ever see a hippopotamus hiding in the trees?
*Because they're really good at it.*
Why did Hippocrates have such bad acne?
Because he showered in greece
Fred is a hippo who goes to a University where everyone is a hippo
One day, someone asked Fred where to find the medical building. Fred replied, "Its over there and to the left. I do brain research in there."
Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.
Hippopotamuses are seemingly unconcerned about the effects of climate change on their habitat
It's as if they lived in de Nile
What do you call a cold hippo?
Hippothermia.
Hating Pachyderms
If you say you hate all pachyderms, but you're actually cool with elephants and rhinos, your really just being hippo critical
Because hippos are surprisingly dangerous, zoologists use the Pythagorean theorem to calculate the length of their backs.
This is called finding the hippotenuse.
Hippo was a great motivational speaker. Hippo taught that you must never give up. Hippo didn't follow his own advice.
Hippo Quit
A Hippopotamus is going to University to study and prepare for a career in brain surgery.
He went to the Hippocampus.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippos really heavy, and a Zippos a little lighter.
I have Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
It's a fear of long words.
What do you get when you mix a hippo, an elephant, and a rhinoceros?
Helephino
How to best a hippo
A Hippopotamus can outrun you on land, and swim faster than you in the water - so the bicycle is your only chance to beat him in a triathlon.
Where do hippos go to study neurology
The hippocampus
What is the status of a hippo that is mourning because of his recently passed wife?
In the Nile
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One weighs 3.500 pounds, the other is a little lighter.
What do you call a one legged hippo?
A Hoppo
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
Well one's really heavy, and the other one is a little lighter
Where did the hippo study for it's college exams?
On the Hippocampus.
