The Best 34 Hippopotamus Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Hippopotamus jokes. There are some hippopotamus antelopes jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hippopotamus calculators puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Hippopotamus Jokes and Puns

What do you get when you cross a lesbian with a hippopotamus?

A lickalottapuss.

At a medical conference

Two African doctors were in an intense debate. The first said "It's wooooooooooooooommmbbbbb". The second said "no, it's woooooooooooooooommmbbaaaa." A British doctor overhears them and decides to help: "I think the word you are looking for is 'womb.'"
They both turn to him and say "Clearly, you've never heard a hippopotamus fart underwater!"

How do you make a hippopotamus float?

2 hippos and a LOT of root beer.

Hippopotamus joke, How do you make a hippopotamus float?

Where did the hippopotamus go for an education?

To the hippocampus!

From my son: What did the hippopotamus do to the magician?

He hippo-tized him!

What do you call a hippopotamus that's a gigalo?

A hit-the-spotimus.

African conservationists call for the ban on hunting hippopotamus to be lifted, citing environmental concerns.

To me the whole thing seems so hippocritical.

Hippopotamus joke, African conservationists call for the ban on hunting hippopotamus to be lifted, citing environmental

What do you call a hippopotamus with a broken leg?

A Lame-o

So, a stutterer was a wedding

He stand's up and says:

-hip, hip

And then everyone on the wedding party said with their glasses raised:


The stutterer, tried again, but louder

-HIP!! HIP!!

Everyone raised their glasses again and shouted out of their lungs!


The stutterer, again, yelled with both arms raised!!


Everyone on the party became one, all the happiness expressed with one single shout!


But then, everyone was killed by a herd of ~~hippopotamus~~ Hippopotamuses

An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath...

...the elephant said to the hippo, 'Please pass the soap.' The hippo replied, 'No soap, radio.'

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus?

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

You can explore hippopotamus prositute reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hippopotamus giraffe dad jokes. There are also hippopotamus puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

How does George Takei say the plural of hippopotamus?

Hippopot oh my

Why did the mathematician lie adjacent to the hippopotamus?


What do you call a pacifist hippopotamus gang member?

A hippo-crip.

What do you call a hippopotamus that raps?

A hiphopotamus

What did the hippopotamus say to the alligator, who kept picking on her without examining his own actions?

Stop being so hyppo-critical.

Hippopotamus joke, What did the hippopotamus say to the alligator, who kept picking on her without examining his own ac

Where does a hippopotamus live if he wants to study brain surgery in college?

A hippo-campus

Why did the mathematician lay adjacent to the hippopotamus?


Why didn't the elephant make a fat joke about the hippopotamus

Because it would be hippo-critical.

Three squirrels were sitting on animal hides...

The first squirrel was sitting on a rabbit hide and weighed one pound. The second squirrel was sitting on a wolf hide and weighed two pounds. And the third squirrel was sitting on a hippopotamus hide and weighed three pounds. This proves that the squirrel on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squirrels on the other two hides.

TIL about the hyperactive hippopotamus with hypoglycemia

The hyper-hypo hippo.

Why don't you ever see a hippopotamus hiding in the trees?

*Because they're really good at it.*

Name an animal that lives in water

Teacher: Name an animal that lives in water?

Kelvin: Hippopotamus

Teacher: Amos, you're next

Amos: Hippopokelvin

Teacher: Whats that?

Amos: Kelvin started it 😒😒😒

What do you call a ironic judgmental hippopotamus?


(Lol this sucks but I just thought of it)

Hippo cruelty

I don't know what to say, the song "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas..." makes me wanna cry hippo cruelty, why only the poor hippo, why? why?

Your momma is so fat

When she volunteered to clean the cages at the zoo, people would walk by and say, "Look at that hippopotamus."

What do you call a gay hippopotamus?

A homopotamus.

Hippopotamuses are seemingly unconcerned about the effects of climate change on their habitat

It's as if they lived in de Nile

Why can you always trust a hippopotamus?

Because hips don't lie.

What do you call a PETA member that shoots a hippopotamus in the head?

A hippo-crit.

A Hippopotamus is going to University to study and prepare for a career in brain surgery.

He went to the Hippocampus.

A Haiku

Haikus are simple
But sometimes, they won't make sense

What do you call a cross between a hippopotamus and something that is not a moose?

A hipponotamoose.

How to best a hippo

A Hippopotamus can outrun you on land, and swim faster than you in the water - so the bicycle is your only chance to beat him in a triathlon.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hippopotamus leotard jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hippopotamus croc piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes