Hippo Jokes
76 hippo jokes and hilarious hippo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hippo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this list of biology-inspired hippo jokes! Whether you're a fan of the classic board game Hungry Hungry Hippo or the Jungle Cruise ride, you're sure to find a joke you'll love. From Elephino to Mammal the Wise, get ready to laugh it up with these hippo puns!
Funniest Hippo Short Jokes
Short hippo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hippo humour may include short hippy jokes also.
- Humans are scared of hippos because they're violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year, when in reality, people kill way more people per year... ...so that's just being hippocritical...
- What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's big and heavy, the other's a little lighter.
- Hippos can swim and run faster than humans. What does this mean? The bycicle is the only way to beat then in a triathlon.
- a pretty bad joke my dad once told me what do you get when you cross a elephant, rhino, and a hippo?
helliphino - I went to weight watchers last night, I opened a bag of maltesers and threw them on the floor Best game of hungry hippos I've ever seen
- Did you know there is a Hungry Hippo that was a US Military Veteran? Yeah! He fought in VietNOM-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM
- Hippo was a great motivational speaker. Hippo taught that you must never give up. Hippo didn't follow his own advice. Hippo Quit
- Because hippos are surprisingly dangerous, zoologists use the Pythagorean theorem to calculate the length of their backs. This is called finding the hippotenuse.
- Why didn't the elephant make a fat joke about the hippopotamus Because it would be hippo-critical.
- I was really tempted to say mean things about an obese animal But I decided not to because that would be hippo-critical.
Share These Hippo Jokes With Friends
Hippo One Liners
Which hippo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hippo? I can suggest the ones about elephant and giraffe.
- What did the hippo say when another called it fat? *"That's very hippocritical of you."*
- What do you call a university for hippos? A hippocampus
- What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant, and a rhino? Helefino.
- What do you call a hippo that nobody knows? A hippononymous
- What do you call a hippo that swears? A hippopottymouth
- What time is it when a hippo sits on your hat? Time for a new hat.
- What do you call a government of hippos? Hippocracy.
- What do you call a hippo who says something and does the complete opposite? A hippocrite
- From my son: What did the hippopotamus do to the magician? He hippo-tized him!
- I got kicked out of the zoo Apparently "real" hippos don't eat marbles
- What do you call a PETA member that shoots a hippopotamus in the head? A hippo-crit.
- What do you call a cold hippo? Hippothermia.
- How do you know if a hippo is in your oven? The door won't close
- Where do hippos go to school? The Hippocampus!
- What do you call a one legged hippo? A Hoppo
Hungry Hungry Hippo Jokes
Here is a list of funny hungry hungry hippo jokes and even better hungry hungry hippo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My Grandpa has Parkinsons He's not able to do much but he beats me at every game of Hungry Hungry Hippos
- How do you play a big game of Hungry Hippos? Go to a weight watchers meeting and roll Maltesers down the middle of their meeting circle.
- Why do hungry hippos eat marbles? Because they are a well-rounded diet.
- You know what they say about hungry hippos... It was modeled after a date with OP's mom.
Cheeky Hippo Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about hippo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gorilla jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hippo pranks.
I went to a restaurant with my wife last night and ordered the Hippo soup.
I'm still not sure what I'm going to order for myself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So, you say wanna be a hungry hungry hippo?
Then that hippo p**...'s a must.
Why was the hippo afraid to go skiing?
He didn't want to get hippothermia.
Hippocrates and the Prophet
Tiresias, blind prophet of Apollo, once went to Hippocrates with a serious case of depression. In no time, Hippocrates had figured it out -- "Aha!" said he; "an imbalance of black bile!" He bled the excess melancholia into an urn and handed it to the prophet. Tiresias did not see the humour.
What do hippo eat?
Hippo-pie
a giraffe, a zebra, a hippo, and a mouse walk into a bar
all of the animals hit their head on the bar except for the mouse which walked easily beneath it
Did you know hippos kill more people than sharks every year?
No one has ever seen a hippo kill a shark.
What did the banana say to the hippo?
Nothing bananas can't talk.
I hate it when...
people refer to themselves as animal containers.
and yes I'm a hippo crate.
What do you call a hippo in Antarctica?!
LOST!!
(I'll show myself out now)
A Hippo claimed that he didn't like serial killers
Than he ate a bowl of cereal.
He was such a hippo-crit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't you kill a hippo in a video game?
It's hippo-critical.
Why did the large animal vet hospital go out of business?
Too many HIPPO violations.
Why was the theatre critic fired from the zoo?
Because he was too hippo critical.
What is it called when sensitive medical information about a very fat patient is disclosed?
A hippo violation
What results when you cross a Hippo and a Crocodile?
Pretty sure you die.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus?
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
What do you call a really really fat hippo that needs 4 legs to stand?
Normal
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got the veterinarian at the zoo fired after he told me about performing a r**... exam.
I promptly called the zoo administrators and reported the HIPPO violation.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the hippo on trial for m**...?
He's currently in de Nile.
What did the hippopotamus say to the alligator, who kept picking on her without examining his own actions?
Stop being so hyppo-critical.
What do you call a self-righteous hippo?
Hippo-critical
Where do animals in sub-Saharan Africa do their PhD research?
The Hippo Campus.
Let's play name the title
Jokes are reposted so many times here, so name the titles of these punchlines
1. Ones a hippo and ones a little lighter
2. How far do you think I can kick this bucket?
3. Obviously not
4. But it wasn't stroganoff
5. Sam sung note 7
6. Measles
7. We went out and had a few drinks. Cool guy, wanted to become a web designer.
8. I wore the wrong sock this morning
9. Unless everyone gets them
10. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for life.
TIL about the hyperactive hippopotamus with hypoglycemia
The hyper-hypo hippo.
Why don't you see hippos hiding in trees?
Because they are fat
Why did Hippocrates have such bad acne?
Because he showered in greece
Why was Hippocrates the most popular doctor in Ancient Greece?
He has a great sense of humors.
Fred is a hippo who goes to a University where everyone is a hippo
One day, someone asked Fred where to find the medical building. Fred replied, "Its over there and to the left. I do brain research in there."
Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.
Hippocrates really must have had a...
Sense of "Humor"
Everyone at my university is morbidly obese, it's making my brain hurt
Specifically, I think it's the hippo campus.
What do you call a promiscuous hippo?
A hippoTHOTamus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I met a Hippo in Los Angeles wearing fishnets and a tank top
She referred to herself as a Hungry Hungry Clitpo
Hippo cruelty
I don't know what to say, the song "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas..." makes me wanna cry hippo cruelty, why only the poor hippo, why? why?
What do you get when you cross a hippo with a monstrous slime?
...
A hippopotamorphous blob!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A hippo starts yelling at a man.
So this hippo was yelling at a man because the man was smoking. The hippo is actually a s**... himself though and because of his bad habit his lungs fail and he has to go to the ICU.
The whole situation was very hippo-critical.
Hippopotamuses are seemingly unconcerned about the effects of climate change on their habitat
It's as if they lived in de Nile
what do you get when you cross a hippo and boat?
a shippo
Hating Pachyderms
If you say you hate all pachyderms, but you're actually cool with elephants and rhinos, your really just being hippo critical
I have Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
It's a fear of long words.
What is the status of a hippo that is mourning because of his recently passed wife?
In the Nile
