The Best 81 Hippie Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Hippie jokes. There are some hippie seventies jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hippie virginity puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Hippie Jokes and Puns

How and why was the hippie killed?

He was stoned.

How do you hide money from a hippie?

Ya put it under the soap!

Did you hear about the hippie who got lost at sea?

He was too far out!

Hippie joke, Did you hear about the hippie who got lost at sea?

I got a new SUV. My hippie friend says to me, "What about the Rainforests? What about the glaciers?"

.. I'm like "Man, it's got 4 wheel drive... We can go anywhere you want!"

-Michael Palascak

How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Hippies only screw in tents.


Why do hippies have sex at music festivals?

Because it is intents

This used to be my Dad's favorite joke. "The End of the World"

The world is ending by nuclear warfare and there are three men riding on a plane to a fallout shelter where they would be safe and ride out the devastation. The three men are: the president, the pope, and a young hippie.

Suddenly, as they are nearing their destination, the plane malfunctions and is going down quickly. The three passengers look at each other, then realize: there are only two parachutes.
The President hastily grabs a bag and before jumping out of the hatch says," I am God's gift to you all! I rule the United States! I am the leader this world will need! I am the SMARTEST man on this planet!"

Realizing they don't have much time the pope quickly says to the hippie, "My son, you have many more years to live than I, it would only be right for you to seize this opportunity and fulfill-"

The hippie begins laughing, startling the pope into silence, and says, "Don't worry Father, the smartest man on the planet just jumped out of the plane with my backpack on!"

Hippie joke, This used to be my Dad's favorite joke. "The End of the World"

Why do hippies like corduroy?

Because the material is so groovy.

Why couldn't anyone catch the hippie?

He was way to high, man.

How do you know if hippies have been in your house?

They are still there.

How do you get a hippie off your door step?

Pay for the pizza and close the door.

You can explore hippie yadda reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hippie pothead dad jokes. There are also hippie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter. All they're going to do is stand around and talk about changing it.

What Do you call it when Cops beat up a Hippie?

BluntForce

Whats the difference between hockey players and hippie girls?

Hockey players shower after 3 periods

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

Why couldn't the Coast Guard save the hippie?

Because he was wayyy far out man.

Hippie joke, Why couldn't the Coast Guard save the hippie?

How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb?

Hippies can't change anything. And they smell bad.

What do a hippie-chick and a hockey player have in common?

Both don't shower until after 3 periods.

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?

The hockey player takes a shower after three periods.


Why do hippies wear pachouli??

So blind people can hate them to

Why aren't hippies good pitchers?

Because they're always high and outside.

What does the hippie on your couch say when you ask him to leave?

Namaste

What does a dirty hippie say after you ask him to get off your couch?

Namaste

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

What's the difference between a hippie girl and a can of beans?

You would still eat the beans after a month in the woods

What did the hippie say about all of the math problems?

They're all, like, equal to me...

How can you tell if a hippie has been at your house?

He's still there.

How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for 30 years.

Heard on Haight St. the other day: Why didnt the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?

Cause he was just too far out, man.

Why do hippies wave their arms around at concerts?

To keep the music out of their eyes.

Mexican Hippie Slogan

We love everyjuan!!

Why do hippies wear corduroy?

It's groovy!

Local Drowning

A hippie drowned at the local beach last night. When asked why the free spirit was unable to be save before his tragic death, a lifeguard commented "He was too far out, man."

A hippie is walking along

A Hippy is walking along wearing one shoe. Another hippy sees him and calls out,
'Hey man, you lose a shoe?'
"Nope, found one"

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

Gluten Tag

And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread?

Flour power

And when a lot of people do it at the same time?

a rye-ot

How do you make the hippie run out of money?

You hide daddies credit card under a bar of soap.

What do you call a hippie astronaut?

A far out man

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs...they screw in dirty sleeping bags.

Why do hippies like to swim way offshore?

Cause it's far out, man

Hippies.

Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'.

What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namastè (nah-ima-stay)

Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt?

Because it was Far Out!

What did the lifeguard say to the hippie?

"Hey man, you're too far out!"

What does a hippie king and rancid precipitation have in common?

Acid Reign

Why don't hippies make good chemists?

Because they're always dropping acid.

Whats the difference between a hippie and a mutual fund.

Eventually a mutual fund matures and gains profit

Why is it so hard to get rid of a hippie?

When you ask them if they want to go home, they usually say "Namaste"

Did you hear about the unfaithful hippie?

She was stoned to death.

Why do hippies shop at Ikea?

Because no trees were harmed in the making of their furniture.

Why do old hippies drink Honest Tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

How can you see if a hippie has a girlfriend?

He has one clean finger

How do you know a hippie is on her period?

She's only wearing one sock.

Whats the difference between a Muslim hippie and a Jewish hippie?

One's stoned and one's baked.

How do you upset a hippie?

By being incense-itive.

I'm in Ocean Beach and a homeless man just told me this joke.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?

He was too far out.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie from drowning?

Cause he was too faar out maan.

What did the hippie say when asked to stop sleeping on the couch?

Namaste

What do hippie chicks and hockey players have in common?

They usually shower after three periods.

What did the hippie farmer plant in his backyard

Some sweet peas

How Many Baby Boomers does it take to explain a hippie joke to a Millennial?

"I'm offended"

Where do you drown a hippie?

In the mainstream (I know it was terrible)

A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle.

A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle. Suddenly a genie burst forth and yelled,

"YOU HAVE FREED ME FROM MY 1000 YEAR PRISON, WHAT DO YOU DESIRE? I WILL GIVE YOU THREE WISHES!"

The Hippie looks at the genie and says, "Cool man. I want too be Uptight, Out of sight, and in the groove."

So the genie turns him into a tampon.

What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?

The hippie girl gets stoned before sex.

What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bisexual hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek?

A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie and tie dye watching sci-fi on wifi.

Credits: my bud

Why couldn't the life guard save the drowning hippie?

He was too far out, man.

How did the hippie get lost at sea?

He was too far out man.

Back in my hippie college days, a professor came up to me in the cafeteria and asked me, "Ya dig?"

I thought to myself, this guy's pretty far out. I answered, "Yeh, man. I dig!"



That's how I got hoodwinked into joining his archaeological expedition.

What do you call the wife of a hippie?

Mississippi.

Why did a hippie head to a volcano?

So he can get himself a lava lamp!

What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bi sexual Hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek?

A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie watching sci-fi on wifi.

Why couldn't the lifeguard at the beach save the hippie?

He was too far out

Why did the hippie burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

Cause he was too far out, man.

Once I had a date with a Saudi-Arabian hippie girl.

She didn't show up, I guess she got too stoned.

Why did the hippie driver refuse heartburn medication?

Because anti-acid would ruin the trip

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hippies dont screw in lightbulbs, they screw in tents...

Gandhi, the first hippie

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

With being a hippie, it's not that we don't take showers, it's just we don't use soap

We'd lather not

What did the one hippie llama say to the other hippie llama?

Alpaca bowl

What do hippies do?

hold up your leggies.

Time for some Hippie jokes!

What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
Why do hippies wear patchouli?
So the blind can hate them too.
What is orange and red and looks good on a hippie?
Fire.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hippie skids jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hippie the hippie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes