Hip Replacement Jokes
21 hip replacement jokes and hilarious hip replacement puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hip replacement that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Hip Replacement Short Jokes
Short hip replacement jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hip replacement humour may include short hips jokes also.
- I just had hip replacement surgery It's a really new procedure; you've probably never heard of it.
- My grandma just walked into my room with a young barista wearing thick rimmed glasses. I said, Who is that?
Grandma: That's my hip replacement. - Who's the coolest guy at the hospital? - The Ultra Sound guy
*Bonus*
Who covers for him when he isn't there?
- The Hip Replacement guy - Medical question? My dad said he is going in for a hip replacement........is he having surgery or am I getting a cool new dad?
- In 1973, the Six Million Dollar Man consisted of a bionic man with super powers... In 2016, the Six Million Dollar Man consists of two hip replacements.
- My grandma got a hip replacement My new grandma is a 24 year old barista and an aspiring artist.
- A bar which does hip replacement operations recently opened near to me, Critics are saying its the new hip place to be.
- Who is the coolest guy in the hospital? The Ultra-sound guy.
Who's the coolest when he's on holiday?
The Hip Replacement man
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Hip Replacement One Liners
Which hip replacement one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hip replacement? I can suggest the ones about heart transplant and new knees.
- How do old people become cool again? Hip replacements!
- Who takes over when the Ultrasound man is on leave? The Hip Replacement Guy.
- I'm so hip... ...that I have two of them and some day will need them replaced!
- What do you call a hipster who is 80 years old? Someone with a lot of hip replacements
- Just got my new Popotamus today! I'm on the waiting list for a Hip replacement now.
Silly & Ridiculous Hip Replacement Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about hip replacement you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean back surgery jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hip replacement pranks.
Old man visits his Doctor...
Old man: Doctor, my hips hurt and need to be replaced. My knees are sore all the time. I need a CPAP machine for sleep, my hair is falling out and I need new glasses.
Doctor: Do you remember all the mornings when you used to jog, all the deserts you passed on, all the salads you ate so you would live longer?
Old man: Yes, Doc, I remember.
Doctor: Well, this is it!
Two different doctors
Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.
The FIRST patient is examined by his regular doctor within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.
The SECOND sees his regular doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then.
Why the different treatment for the two patients?
The FIRST is a Golden Retriever.
The SECOND is a Senior Citizen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For years Johnny helped his father with the vegetable garden.
Every spring Johnny's dad would have Johnny over for a day and they would spend all day tilling the soil to get it ready for planting and then grill some steaks in the evening. One year Johnny fell in with the wrong crowd and was arrested for armed robbery, but the gun was never located. Three months in jail he is talking with his father on the phone. His father recently had a hip replacement and can't move like he used and wishes Johnny was able to help with the gardening. After the conversation Johnny feels so bad that he calls the DA and arranges a meeting.
The next morning, Johnny's father hear's a b**... at his front door. He opens up and sees two detectives and a dozen uniformed officers with a search warrant. They brush the old man aside and make a beeline for the back yard.
Furious, he calls the prison and demands to talk to his son. He asked Johnny how dare he bring his criminal activities home and worry his mother and how ashamed he was of his scumbag son.
Johnny listened to the berating and replied, 'I felt bad that I couldn't help you with the garden this year, so I lied and told them I buried a gun back there.'