Hindu Jokes
80 hindu jokes and hilarious hindu puns to laugh out loud. Read ethnic jokes about hindu that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A collection of Hindu jokes featuring traditional Hindu gods, famous Indian figures, and poking fun at Hindu-Muslim relations, Kosher diets, and Ramadan celebrations. Share these funny jokes with friends and family for a good laugh.
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Funniest Hindu Short Jokes
Short hindu jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hindu humour may include short kosher jokes also.
- A Jewish man was talking to a Hindu man Jew: Yeah, so in my religion we only believe in one God.
Hindu: No way!
Jew: Yahweh - Do you know why Hindu worship Lord Ganesha first Because we have to first address the elephant in the room
- What do you call a Hindu who rejects the gods and prays to a slice of bread? A Naan Believer.
- Priest and a Hindu are making breakfast.. The priest is spreading on margarine and exclaims, "Look! It's Jesus in the spread!"
Shocked, the Hindu replies, "Wow, I can't believe it's not Buddha." - Reincarnation I told my wife that in the Hindu religion she could come back as something completely different. She said she wanted to come back as a cow.
I told her she wasn't listening. - A Hindu candle company has released a "Nirvana" scented candle. It smells like teen spirit.
- I asked my Hindu friend whether he plans to evacuate for Hurricane Florence. He said, Na-ama-ste.
- What did the Hindu say when asked if he was going to leave on his pilgrimage across all of the ancient holy sites? Namaste here.
- Why did the Hindu god Vishnu keep losing at chess? Because every time he made a move, Shiva would destroy the board!
- Why the Hindu mortician lost his job? Despite several warnings he kept writing the cause of death: *Birth*
Share These Hindu Jokes With Friends
Hindu One Liners
Which hindu one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hindu? I can suggest the ones about halal and devout.
- I asked a Hindu girl if she wanted to go home with me She just smiled and said "Namaste."
- What does a poor Hindu college student eat? Brahmin Noodles
- How do you know that Hindu woman is into you? Her diode starts flashing green.
- What do you call a Hindu lizard? A karma chameleon
- What did the Hindu man say when he was surprised? Holy cow!
- One thing you'll never hear a Hindu say... .."Ah well...you only live once!"
- What do you call a Hindu god playing basketball? Swishnu
- What do you call a Hindu South African? Nelson Mandala.
- My Australian friend asked a Kiwi: "What's a Hindu?" "...it lays iggs."
- What do you call an Indian Jedi? Mace Hindu.
- What do you call a Hindu politician's car? A Mahatmobile
- What did the Hindu boy say to his mother every time she left the house? Nah mah stay!
- Star Wars should cast an Indian actor to play Mace Hindu.
- What do you call Hindu ideas about pacifism? Naan Violence
- Why don't Hindu rappers have battle raps? Because they got no beef.
Hindu Indian Jokes
Here is a list of funny hindu indian jokes and even better hindu indian puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm gonna start a dating site for Hindu Indians Call it ConnectTheDots
Entertaining Hindu Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about hindu you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hijab jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hindu pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ghandi Poppins
I learned some interesting things about Ghandi recently:
He worked a lot in his garden and walked around with bad sandals, making his skin very hard and stiff.
He went on several hunger strikes, making him quite frail.
He was a Hindu spiritual leader, and therefore had many arcane thoughts and teachings.
Also, India didn't have very good o**... hygiene materials in Ghandi's day, so he often had very bad breath.
This all makes Ghandi a "super-calloused, fragile mystic hexed by halitosis".
What did the Hindu say to Lil Wayne?
No YOLO
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
911?
Husband: "Hello, Yes, there's this Hindu fellow who's been following my wife around for the past few hours, and it's starting to really creep us out. He just now got down on his knees and he's... praying, or something."
911 Operator: "Sir, calm down, there's no issue here- Hindus are well known to worship cows."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm not worried about Muslim s**... b**...
They can only do it once. Those Hindu s**... b**... are the real threat.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American mistakes a Hindu from India as a Muslim from Pakistan
Indian guy goes "Excuse me sir, you seem to have mistaken me for a Muslim from Pakistan. I belong to 711 not 911."
I will show myself out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jew is stuck in a well.
A Jew is stuck in a well. Three men pass by at different times and notice this.
The first one, a Christian, says, "Hey! Give me your hand!". The Jew refuses, and the perplexed Christian man leaves.
The second one, a Hindu, says, "You seem to be in trouble! Give me your hand!". The Jew refuses again, and the Hindu man is annoyed and confused, so he leaves without another word.
Then, a Muslim man arrives and says, "Take my hand!", and the Jew accepts.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the stubborn Hindu in pakistan say after partition?
Na-ama-ste
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What kind of w**... is the indian guy smoking?
Hindu Kush
A Lawyer, a Muslim, and a Hindu are travelling together...
One night, they are looking for a place to stay, and one of them sees a house in the distance. One of them knocks on the door and a farmer answers the door. They ask politely to stay, and the farmer says, "Yes, you may stay. However, one of you will have to sleep in the barn, as I have only room for 2 of you in my house." The Hindu volunteers to sleep in the barn. A couple minutes after the Hindu goes, they hear a knock at the door. It's the Hindu, and he says he cannot sleep in the barn, as there is a cow in there, and a cow is a sacred animal in his religion. The Muslim volunteers next. A couple minutes after the Muslim goes, they hear a knock at the door. It's the Muslim, and he says he cannot sleep in the barn, as there is a pig in there, and a pig is an unclean animal in his religion. The lawyer then goes to sleep in the barn. A couple minutes later, they hear a knock at the door. It's the cow and the pig.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you call a man's mother a cow, he may thank you
if he's Hindu and it's her f**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Stereotyping people because of their religion is not nice.
Whether they be a Christian, a Jew, a Buddhist, a Hindu, an Atheist, or a t**....
Did you read my mother's retraction of her support of the president over his hyper critical aide's tantrum at the Hindu temple?
It was my mama's Obama's trauma llama Brahma drama reclama.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a hindu mechanic?
Pindunderjeep
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm Becoming a Hindu
Son : Dad I want to learn about Hinduism
Dad : So are you going to be praying to your mother now?
Son : What are you talking about...
Dad : Hindus worship cows right?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The World's Most Politically Correct Joke
THE WORLD'S MOST POLITICALLY CORRECT JOKE
A Christian, a Jew, a Hindu, a m**..., a Sikh, a Hare Krishna, a Buddhist, a Pagan, an Atheist, a 3rd wave feminist, a non-binary gender neutral otherkin, a transgender Black Lives Matter activist, a Jehovah's Witness and a Muslim walk into a bar that only serves gluten free, dairy free, eco friendly, carbon neutral, halal, kosher, non GM, fair trade, free range, vegan, recycled water.
Nobody said or did anything and an acceptable time was had by all.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Hindu, a Christian, A Sikh, an atheist, and a Buddhist walk into a clinic...
One of them is called to see the doctor, he goes in, and after a while leaves the clinic. After that, everyone else was angry because they had not received service from the doctor. They ask the nurse standing outside why this is so, to which she said: "I'm sorry, we only serve the sikh."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You'll never hear a Hindu tell a Yo Mamma joke...
They consider cows to be sacred.
What do Hindus order at Mexican restaurants?
Chimichakras
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the Hindu commit s**...?
He wanted to reroll his stats.
Hindus are so chilled out.
They never have beef with anyone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hindus believe that what you come back as depends upon your behavior in your this life. If you led a good life, you come back in an elevated state, like Colorado.
Hindus and vegans must be great friends
they never have beef
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife just became a Hindu!
... nevermind it was a s**...
there was a shop owned by a hindu man
When asked for the change he said change only comes from within.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't Hindus argue with each other?
Because they can't have beef
I failed my Hindu philosophy class because I didn't listen in class
I guess I'm learning about karma firsthand
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Muslim, a Hindu and a m**... walk into a bar
The bartender says, "Ah the people you run into when you lose your liquor licence."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Hindus where at a party...
The first Hindu says, hey, this party blows harder than a snake charmer on the brink of unemployment. How about we get outta here?
The second Hindu replies, namaste
A Rabbi, a Hindu holy man, and an Alabama Crimson Tide fan are in a car together, but the car breaks down.
Luckily, there's a farm right nearby. The farmer says, "I only got room for two of ya in the house, so one of you's gonna have to sleep in the barn."
The Hindu holy man decides to go, but comes back to the barn because there's a cow in there, and Cows are sacred in his faith.
The Rabbi takes his friend's place, only to come back in because there's also a pig in the barn, and in the Rabbi's faith, pigs are unclean.
So the Alabama fan grudgingly goes to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there's a knock on the door, and standing in the doorway are the cow and the pig.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a person does exceedingly well in the Catholic faith, they become a saint. But if someone does equally well in the Hindu faith, they become a...
Saint Bernard.
A Christian,Muslim and Hindu had a fight on a plane
It was decided they would all try to make other passenger stand by chanting their spiritual words. The person who made most people stand up is the winner.
There were 40 passengers on board
Christian : Bless us Jesus Christ
5 passengers stand up
Hindu : Jai Mata Di
3 passengers stand up
Muslim : Allah hu Akbar
37 passengers Stand Up.
.
.
.
.
.
And jumped out of the plane.
Why are Hindus so friendly?
They don't have beef with anyone.
Sorry if this terrible joke might be offensive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Hindu wife say to her husband after their first night?
"You taste just like a cow."
Hindu dies and goes to heaven...
Hindu dies and goes to heaven. He's standing at the pearly gates, talking to St Peter. He says, "I wish to speak to Jesus Christ", and St Peter turns his head and yells, "Jesus, your cab is here!"
Always pray in English...
Mr. Sharma, a Hindu suffered a heart attack. The paramedics arrived and put Mr. Sharma in the ambulance and raced towards the hospital. Realizing his time had come, Mr. Sharma started reciting the Hindu prayer, "Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om..."
10 minutes later the paramedics brought him back to his house. His wife was aghast and asked the paramedics why they brought him back home?
The paramedics replied, "as soon as we were on our way, he kept shouting hurry home, hurry home, hurry home, so we brought him back..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I can get almost all of my friends to do s**... stuff by simply saying, "YOLO"
It never seems to work with my Hindu friends though.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You will never ever hear A HINDU tell YO MAMMA JOKE
BEcause we consider cows to sacred.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A catholic, a Jew, and a Hindu walk into Abar.
He says Hello! It is me, Abar the Muslim. It's always good to see my multicultural friends!
