Hindu Jokes
89 hindu jokes and hilarious hindu puns to laugh out loud. Read ethnic jokes about hindu that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A collection of Hindu jokes featuring traditional Hindu gods, famous Indian figures, and poking fun at Hindu-Muslim relations, Kosher diets, and Ramadan celebrations. Share these funny jokes with friends and family for a good laugh.
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Funniest Hindu Short Jokes
Short hindu jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hindu humour may include short kosher jokes also.
- My girl left me for a Hindu guy. It's okay thought, he'll treat her better. They worship cows.
- A Jewish man was talking to a Hindu man Jew: Yeah, so in my religion we only believe in one God.
Hindu: No way!
Jew: Yahweh - I dated a hindu girl who would eat chicken or goat but not beef. She said it was a sacred animal. I didn't get it, i was raised catholic. Our god tastes like cardboard and we still eat him.
- Do you know why Hindu worship Lord Ganesha first Because we have to first address the elephant in the room
- What do you call a Hindu who rejects the gods and prays to a slice of bread? A Naan Believer.
- Priest and a Hindu are making breakfast.. The priest is spreading on margarine and exclaims, "Look! It's Jesus in the spread!"
Shocked, the Hindu replies, "Wow, I can't believe it's not Buddha." - Reincarnation I told my wife that in the Hindu religion she could come back as something completely different. She said she wanted to come back as a cow.
I told her she wasn't listening. - I'm Becoming a Hindu Son : Dad I want to learn about Hinduism
Dad : So are you going to be praying to your mother now?
Son : What are you talking about...
Dad : Hindus worship cows right? - A Priest and a Hindu A Priest and a Hindu are having breakfast. The priest exclaims, "Look at my toast! It's the face of Jesus!"
The Hindu replies, "I can't believe it's not Buddha!" - If a person does exceedingly well in the Catholic faith, they become a saint. But if someone does equally well in the Hindu faith, they become a... Saint Bernard.
Share These Hindu Jokes With Friends
Hindu One Liners
Which hindu one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hindu? I can suggest the ones about halal and hindu muslim.
- You'll never hear a Hindu tell a Yo Mamma joke... They consider cows to be sacred.
- You will never ever hear A HINDU tell YO MAMMA JOKE BEcause we consider cows to sacred.
- Why did the Hindu monk refuse Novocaine? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
- I asked a Hindu girl if she wanted to go home with me She just smiled and said "Namaste."
- What did the stubborn Hindu in pakistan say after partition? Na-ama-ste
- What does a poor Hindu college student eat? Brahmin Noodles
- How do you know that Hindu woman is into you? Her diode starts flashing green.
- What do you call a Hindu lizard? A karma chameleon
- What did the Hindu man say when he was surprised? Holy cow!
- One thing you'll never hear a Hindu say... .."Ah well...you only live once!"
- What do you call a Hindu god playing basketball? Swishnu
- What do you call a Hindu South African? Nelson Mandala.
- My Australian friend asked a Kiwi: "What's a Hindu?" "...it lays iggs."
- What do you call an Indian Jedi? Mace Hindu.
- What do you call a Hindu politician's car? A Mahatmobile
Hindu Muslim Jokes
Here is a list of funny hindu muslim jokes and even better hindu muslim puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A catholic, a Jew, and a Hindu walk into Abar. He says Hello! It is me, Abar the Muslim. It's always good to see my multicultural friends!
- A Hindu and Muslim together makes for a surprise equillibrium Muslim keep beheading the Hindu.
The Hindu keeps reincarnating. - I'm not worried about Muslim s**... b**... They can only do it once. Those Hindu s**... b**... are the real threat.
- I'm not worried about Muslim s**... b**.... They can only attack once. *Hindu* s**... b**... on the other hand...
- A Muslim, a Hindu and a m**... walk into a bar The bartender says, "Ah the people you run into when you lose your liquor licence."
Hindu God Jokes
Here is a list of funny hindu god jokes and even better hindu god puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the Hindu god Vishnu keep losing at chess? Because every time he made a move, Shiva would destroy the board!
- I'm not sure whether putting up Christmas lights would offend my Hindu neighbors. So to make sure, I hung a giant banner saying YOU WORSHIP FALSE GODS! on my window.
Hindu Indian Jokes
Here is a list of funny hindu indian jokes and even better hindu indian puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Star Wars should cast an Indian actor to play Mace Hindu.
- I'm gonna start a dating site for Hindu Indians Call it ConnectTheDots
- What kind of w**... is the indian guy smoking? Hindu Kush
Entertaining Hindu Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about hindu you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean devout jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hindu pranks.
911?
Husband: "Hello, Yes, there's this Hindu fellow who's been following my wife around for the past few hours, and it's starting to really creep us out. He just now got down on his knees and he's... praying, or something."
911 Operator: "Sir, calm down, there's no issue here- Hindus are well known to worship cows."
Why did the hindu cross the road?
Cause I promise him a hindu joke and I had nothing, so he walked away.
An American mistakes a Hindu from India as a Muslim from Pakistan
Indian guy goes "Excuse me sir, you seem to have mistaken me for a Muslim from Pakistan. I belong to 711 not 911."
I will show myself out.
A Jew is stuck in a well.
A Jew is stuck in a well. Three men pass by at different times and notice this.
The first one, a Christian, says, "Hey! Give me your hand!". The Jew refuses, and the perplexed Christian man leaves.
The second one, a Hindu, says, "You seem to be in trouble! Give me your hand!". The Jew refuses again, and the Hindu man is annoyed and confused, so he leaves without another word.
Then, a Muslim man arrives and says, "Take my hand!", and the Jew accepts.
A Hindu candle company has released a "Nirvana" scented candle.
It smells like teen spirit.
Stereotyping people because of their religion is not nice.
Whether they be a Christian, a Jew, a Buddhist, a Hindu, an Atheist, or a t**....
In Hinduism, cows are sacred, are to be revered and certainly should not be eaten.
However, the Christians eat Jesus' corpse.
Did you read my mother's retraction of her support of the president over his hyper critical aide's tantrum at the Hindu temple?
It was my mama's Obama's trauma llama Brahma drama reclama.
The World's Most Politically Correct Joke
THE WORLD'S MOST POLITICALLY CORRECT JOKE
A Christian, a Jew, a Hindu, a m**..., a Sikh, a Hare Krishna, a Buddhist, a Pagan, an Atheist, a 3rd wave feminist, a non-binary gender neutral otherkin, a transgender Black Lives Matter activist, a Jehovah's Witness and a Muslim walk into a bar that only serves gluten free, dairy free, eco friendly, carbon neutral, halal, kosher, non GM, fair trade, free range, vegan, recycled water.
Nobody said or did anything and an acceptable time was had by all.
What did the Hindu say when asked if he was going to leave on his pilgrimage across all of the ancient holy sites?
Namaste here.
A Hindu, a Christian, A Sikh, an atheist, and a Buddhist walk into a clinic...
One of them is called to see the doctor, he goes in, and after a while leaves the clinic. After that, everyone else was angry because they had not received service from the doctor. They ask the nurse standing outside why this is so, to which she said: "I'm sorry, we only serve the sikh."
What do Hindus order at Mexican restaurants?
Chimichakras
Why can't Hindus get in fights?
They're not allowed to have beef
Hindus are so chilled out.
They never have beef with anyone.
What did the Hindu parking lot say to the other Hindu parking lot?
You were born a lot and you're going to die a lot.
Hindus and vegans must be great friends
they never have beef
My wife just became a Hindu!
... nevermind it was a s**...
Why the Hindu mortician lost his job?
Despite several warnings he kept writing the cause of death: *Birth*
there was a shop owned by a hindu man
When asked for the change he said change only comes from within.
Why don't Hindus argue with each other?
Because they can't have beef
I asked my Hindu friend whether he plans to evacuate for Hurricane Florence.
He said, Na-ama-ste.
Of all the people I know, my Hindu friends are the most chilled out.
They never have beef with anyone.
Two Hindus where at a party...
The first Hindu says, hey, this party blows harder than a snake charmer on the brink of unemployment. How about we get outta here?
The second Hindu replies, namaste
Do you believe in Hinduism?
Do you believe in Hinduism? Because I heard that they consider your mom a sacred animal.
A Christian,Muslim and Hindu had a fight on a plane
It was decided they would all try to make other passenger stand by chanting their spiritual words. The person who made most people stand up is the winner.
There were 40 passengers on board
Christian : Bless us Jesus Christ
5 passengers stand up
Hindu : Jai Mata Di
3 passengers stand up
Muslim : Allah hu Akbar
37 passengers Stand Up.
.
.
.
.
.
And jumped out of the plane.
Why are Hindus so friendly?
They don't have beef with anyone.
Sorry if this terrible joke might be offensive.
What did the Hindu wife say to her husband after their first night?
"You taste just like a cow."
I watched the Hindu version of How I Met Your Mother...
There's just one episode about the wedding.
Hindu dies and goes to heaven...
Hindu dies and goes to heaven. He's standing at the pearly gates, talking to St Peter. He says, "I wish to speak to Jesus Christ", and St Peter turns his head and yells, "Jesus, your cab is here!"
Always pray in English...
Mr. Sharma, a Hindu suffered a heart attack. The paramedics arrived and put Mr. Sharma in the ambulance and raced towards the hospital. Realizing his time had come, Mr. Sharma started reciting the Hindu prayer, "Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om..."
10 minutes later the paramedics brought him back to his house. His wife was aghast and asked the paramedics why they brought him back home?
The paramedics replied, "as soon as we were on our way, he kept shouting hurry home, hurry home, hurry home, so we brought him back..."
I can get almost all of my friends to do s**... stuff by simply saying, "YOLO"
It never seems to work with my Hindu friends though.
A Hindu man an a Christian man were walking down the street.
As they were walking down the street, the circus drives by. There's the tent, there's a little car filled with clowns, and there's the trailers filled with animals.
As the animals are going by, the Christian man looks over and sees the elephants. He says to the Hindu man, "hey that elephant looks like your god."
The Hindu man looks down an alley and says "and that hobo looks like yours"