Hind Legs Jokes
47 hind legs jokes and hilarious hind legs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hind legs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hind Legs Short Jokes
Short hind legs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hind legs humour may include short hind leg jokes also.
- Some species of frog can jump higher than a 3-story office building. It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.
- Did you know that there's a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can't jump
- Did you know cats can jump higher than a house? This is largely due to the cats powerful hind legs and the fact houses cant jump.
- Did you know there is a species of deer that can jump higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house cannot jump.
- Did you know there's a species of antelope that can jump higher than a two story house? This is mostly because the antelope has powerful hind leg muscles, and houses can't jump.
- Did you know cats can jump higher than houses? It's due to they way their hind legs are built and they can generate so much forced with them and also because house can't jump.
- What do you call a four-legged animal that's lost both of its hind legs? A fore-legged animal.
- The average fox can jump higher than a house. This is in part due to their powerful hind legs, but mainly because houses can't jump.
Cr - Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your dog dance with you on it's hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it too.
- What do you call a creature with the head of a seahorse, body of a lobster, the hind legs of an octopus, the front legs of a penguin, and claws? A crabomination
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Hind Legs One Liners
Which hind legs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hind legs? I can suggest the ones about long legs and chicken legs.
- How to you call a pig missing both hind legs? A ham-putee.
- What do you call a cow with no hind legs? an utter drag
- Dog names What do you name a male dog with no hind legs?
Dragonballs. - Why did they invent the shopping cart? To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
- What do you call a dog with no hind legs and iron b**...? Sparky
- A doggo was born without hind legs, but had b**... of steel... They named him Sparky
- What do you call a donkey in a field in Spain, with no hind legs? Grassy-a**...
Hind Legs Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about hind legs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean legs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hind legs pranks.
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"
Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush.
"Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman."
"OK," says Ivan.
After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...
...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.
The moral of this story is that you can't put Descartes before the horse.
The Chinese and the dog
A Chinese man, coming home from a long day of work, is walking on the sidewalk. All of a sudden, a stray dog jumps out of the bushes and barks at the man. The Chinese man, appreciating a good laugh, barks back at the dog for fun. The dog stops barking and stands up on his hind legs. The dog , deeply offended, says, "That's very rude. How would you like it if I said Ching Chang Chong?"
A blind man
A blind man walks into a store with his service dog. He goes to the middle of the store, picks the dog up by its hind legs and starts spinning around. Everyone in the store stops and stares. The store manager immediately runs up to him and says "Sir, can I help you find something?" The blind man, still spinning with the dog, says "nope, just looking around."
Three blind elephants examine a human being
Three blind elephants came upon a human being for the first time. They gathered close and felt the strange creature with their snouts.
The first blind elephant said, "A human being is thin and stands on its hind legs."
The second said, "A human being is flat and mushy."
The third said, "Yeah, my bad."
How to milk a cow
"I haven't sold one tractor all month," a tractor salesman tells his friend.
"That's nothing compared to my problem," his buddy replies. "I was milking my cow when its tail whips around and hits me in the forehead, so I grabbed some string and tied its tail up to the rafters. Then I go back to milk it and it kicks me in the head with its right hind leg, so I grab some rope and tie its one leg up to the rafters. I go back to try and milk it again when it kicks me in the head with its left hind leg, so I tie its other leg up to the rafters.
"Then my wife comes walking in and I'll tell ya, if you can convince her that I was trying to milk that cow, I'll buy a tractor off ya."
Science fact!
There is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house. This is largely due to the antelope's powerful hind-legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.
A frog can leap higher than a house
..partly because of the strength of its hind legs, but also because houses have difficulty jumping at all.
A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swung him around in a circle
The bartender says, "Hey buddy, what are you doing?"
And the blind man says, "Don't mind me, I'm just looking around."
Synagogue Dog
A jewish guy walks into his synagogue on Yom Kippur with with his dog. The rabbi stops him at the door and says "Moishe, what's the matter with you? You can't bring a dog in here."
"Don't worry, Rabbi," replies Moishe, "Isaac here is just as orthodox as I am, and he's come to pray." And as soon as he says that, the dog stands up on his hind legs, pulls a yarmulka out of Moishe's pocket, grabs a prayer book and starts praying in perfect Hebrew.
The Rabbi is amazed. "Oh my god," he says, "this is incredible, Moishe. You should make this dog become a rabbi!"
"You tell him that, Rabbi," replies Moishe. "He wants to be a doctor."
Girl: So how did you hurt your foot?
Boy: Well we were camping out and this giant Grizzly Bear came out of nowhere, reared up on his hind legs, roared, and then started charging us! So I ran in front of him, shouting, "Oh no you don't!' And then I kicked him where it hurts the most and he ran off into the woods whimpering.
Girl: Wow! Was everyone OK?
Boy: Well I feel sorry for that one fellow.
Girl: What fellow?
Boy: The one wearing the Grizzly Bear suit.
Bubba and Clyde are out hunting one day...
... when they finally lay eyes on the perfect buck. Bubba takes one shot and it goes down. They're struggling to get it back to their pickup, dragging it by its hind legs, when they come across another hunter.
The hunter says, "You know boys, if you drag it by its antlers, it'll be easier, since they won't be catching on everything."
After a little while, Bubba says to Clyde, "You know, that guy was right, this *is* a lot easier. The only problem now is we're gettin' further away from the truck."
A particular species of frog, found in South American rainforests, has been observed to leap higher than a 1 story house.
This is due to the extremely powerful hind legs of the frog, and the fact that houses cannot leap.
A pig with a wooden leg and his owner walk into a bar.
His owner orders a beer and begins bragging to the bartender about his pig. "See that scar on his head? He got that rescuing me from a fire," says the guy. "And see that he's only got one eye? He lost the other one saving 17 people from dying in a bus c**...." "So what heroic act was he doing when he lost his hind leg?" the bartender asks. "Dang it man," the guy says. "With a pig this good, you don't eat it all at once!"
My dog was standing on her hind legs.
My dog was standing on her hind legs.
I guess she felt she had to pause in mid air.
A farm girl...
A farm girl was milking a cow
When it kicked her in the head with its hind leg..
Her condition is stable...
What do you call a cow...
...w/ no legs? Ground beef.
...w/ 1 leg? Stake.
...w/ 2 legs? Lean beef.
...w/ 3 legs? Tri-tip.
...w/ 4 legs? A cow, you d**....
...w/ 4 legs in the air? High stakes.
...w/ 5 legs? Chernobull.
...w/ no hind legs? An udder drag.
...w/ a twitch? Beef jerky.
I could keep going but I've milked this joke dry
It was a typical night at a saloon in the Old West
The ranchers and townsmen were inside, drinking beer and having a good time. Some played poker, others watched the dancing girls, and music from the piano played in the background.
Suddenly, the saloon doors burst open and slammed against the walls. Everyone was startled, and the entire saloon got deathly quiet as everyone looked at the entrance.
In came a dog, walking on its hind legs, and its left front leg was in a sling.
The dog eyed the place over and said, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"
A blind man and his seeing eye dog enter a department store
In the middle of the household items aisle he suddenly stops, grabs his dog by the hind legs and swings him around above his head a couple of times.
Alarmed, the assistant manager comes running and exclaims "Sir! Sir! What are you doing?"
"Oh, just looking around", says the blind man
I was walking in the jungle…
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes
I turn to the local tribesman and said That lizard is really funny.
The tribesman replied That's not a lizard…
He's a stand up chameleon…
Two men are walking down the street when they see a dog....
Two men are walking down the street when they see a dog with one of its hind legs up in the air and it's snout buried in its c**.... They stop for a moment as the dog furiously tongues its b**....... just goin' to town on himself. The first man turns to his friend and asks, Wow, man..... my wife is pretty vanilla. I could never convince her to do something like that. Do you ever wish you could do that!?
The second man pauses for a moment and says well yeah, but shouldn't we pet him first to see if he's friendly?
A priest is being chased through the woods by a hungry bear.
As the priest is running, he makes an impassioned plea to God: Oh please God, in your infinite wisdom and mercy, turn this bear into a good Christian!
Before he can get another word out, he trips over a log and goes sprawling. The bear catches up and approaches the terrified priest. Rising up on its hind legs, it puts its paws together, and says
Lord, thank you for this meal that I am about to receive.