Hind Jokes
78 hind jokes and hilarious hind puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hind that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hind Short Jokes
Short hind jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hind humour may include short hung jokes also.
- Some species of frog can jump higher than a 3-story office building. It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.
- Where does a bumblebee sit? On her bee-hind!
As told to me by my very excited 3 year granddaughter. - Did you know that there's a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can't jump
- Did you know cats can jump higher than a house? This is largely due to the cats powerful hind legs and the fact houses cant jump.
- Did you know there is a species of deer that can jump higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house cannot jump.
- Did you know there's a species of antelope that can jump higher than a two story house? This is mostly because the antelope has powerful hind leg muscles, and houses can't jump.
- Did you know cats can jump higher than houses? It's due to they way their hind legs are built and they can generate so much forced with them and also because house can't jump.
- What do you call a four-legged animal that's lost both of its hind legs? A fore-legged animal.
- The average fox can jump higher than a house. This is in part due to their powerful hind legs, but mainly because houses can't jump.
Cr - Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your dog dance with you on it's hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it too.
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Hind One Liners
Which hind one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hind? I can suggest the ones about hone and hang.
- How to you call a pig missing both hind legs? A ham-putee.
- What do you call a cow with no hind legs? an utter drag
- Dog names What do you name a male dog with no hind legs?
Dragonballs. - What do you call a bee's rear end? A Bee-Hind
- Apparently deer always tend to regret things... But hind-sight is always 20/20.
- Why did the deer buy a Mil Mi-24 HIND helicopter? to get a bigger bang for the buck
- Why did they invent the shopping cart? To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
- What do you call a dog with no hind legs and iron b**...? Sparky
- A doggo was born without hind legs, but had b**... of steel... They named him Sparky
- What do you call a donkey in a field in Spain, with no hind legs? Grassy-a**...
Hind Leg Jokes
Here is a list of funny hind leg jokes and even better hind leg puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a creature with the head of a seahorse, body of a lobster, the hind legs of an octopus, the front legs of a penguin, and claws? A crabomination
- My dog was standing on her hind legs. My dog was standing on her hind legs.
I guess she felt she had to pause in mid air. - A frog can leap higher than a house ..partly because of the strength of its hind legs, but also because houses have difficulty jumping at all.
- A farm girl... A farm girl was milking a cow
When it kicked her in the head with its hind leg..
Her condition is stable...
Share Hilarious Hind Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about hind you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hood jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hind pranks.
There was a horse who was a genius at arithmetic...
...which it learned with no difficulty. Algebra was a breeze, and it could even prove theorems in Euclidean geometry. However, when someone tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously, neigh loudly, and make violent head motions in resistance.
The moral of this story is that you can't put Descartes before the horse.
A Dog Walks Into Bar...
A dog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "We don't serve dogs in here," pulls out a p**... and shoots the dog in a hind paw. The dog hops yelping out of the bar.
The next day the dog walks back into the bar with a huge bandage on his hind foot. He's wearing a ten-gallon hat and has a six-gun on each hip.
He looks at everyone in the bar and says...
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A blind man
A blind man walks into a store with his service dog. He goes to the middle of the store, picks the dog up by its hind legs and starts spinning around. Everyone in the store stops and stares. The store manager immediately runs up to him and says "Sir, can I help you find something?" The blind man, still spinning with the dog, says "nope, just looking around."
Three blind elephants examine a human being
Three blind elephants came upon a human being for the first time. They gathered close and felt the strange creature with their snouts.
The first blind elephant said, "A human being is thin and stands on its hind legs."
The second said, "A human being is flat and mushy."
The third said, "Yeah, my bad."
A Hindu candle company has released a "Nirvana" scented candle.
It smells like teen spirit.
A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swung him around in a circle
The bartender says, "Hey buddy, what are you doing?"
And the blind man says, "Don't mind me, I'm just looking around."
In Hinduism, cows are sacred, are to be revered and certainly should not be eaten.
However, the Christians eat Jesus' corpse.
How do you know that Hindu woman is into you?
Her diode starts flashing green.
What's hindi for m**...?
Mumbae
What do the Hindenberg, the Titanic and Hillary Clinton have in common?
Going down on any of them would be horrifying.
Hindsight is 20/20.
Or 8:20 PM, for the civilians out there.
Why can't Hindi people fight with each other?
Because they can't have beef!
I'm Becoming a Hindu
Son : Dad I want to learn about Hinduism
Dad : So are you going to be praying to your mother now?
Son : What are you talking about...
Dad : Hindus worship cows right?
What did the Hindu say when asked if he was going to leave on his pilgrimage across all of the ancient holy sites?
Namaste here.
A Hindu, a Christian, A Sikh, an atheist, and a Buddhist walk into a clinic...
One of them is called to see the doctor, he goes in, and after a while leaves the clinic. After that, everyone else was angry because they had not received service from the doctor. They ask the nurse standing outside why this is so, to which she said: "I'm sorry, we only serve the sikh."
Girl: So how did you hurt your foot?
Boy: Well we were camping out and this giant Grizzly Bear came out of nowhere, reared up on his hind legs, roared, and then started charging us! So I ran in front of him, shouting, "Oh no you don't!' And then I kicked him where it hurts the most and he ran off into the woods whimpering.
Girl: Wow! Was everyone OK?
Boy: Well I feel sorry for that one fellow.
Girl: What fellow?
Boy: The one wearing the Grizzly Bear suit.
What do Hindus order at Mexican restaurants?
Chimichakras
Why can't Hindus get in fights?
They're not allowed to have beef
Hindus are so chilled out.
They never have beef with anyone.
What did the Hindu parking lot say to the other Hindu parking lot?
You were born a lot and you're going to die a lot.
Hindsight is 20/20
But Heinzsight is tomato/tamato
hindsight is 20/20
future sight is 2020.
A particular species of frog, found in South American rainforests, has been observed to leap higher than a 1 story house.
This is due to the extremely powerful hind legs of the frog, and the fact that houses cannot leap.
Hindus and vegans must be great friends
they never have beef
Why the Hindu mortician lost his job?
Despite several warnings he kept writing the cause of death: *Birth*
Why don't Hindus argue with each other?
Because they can't have beef
What did the Hindu man say when he was surprised?
Holy cow!
Two Hindus where at a party...
The first Hindu says, hey, this party blows harder than a snake charmer on the brink of unemployment. How about we get outta here?
The second Hindu replies, namaste
Do you believe in Hinduism?
Do you believe in Hinduism? Because I heard that they consider your mom a sacred animal.
Hindsight is 20/20...
Because this year there's nothing to look forward to.
Cr
In hindsight it's easy to see that 2012 wouldn't be the end of the world.
The end of the world had 2020 vision.
They say hindsight is 2020
Well then F*c**... You! Hindsight!
Why are Hindus so friendly?
They don't have beef with anyone.
Sorry if this terrible joke might be offensive.
Hindi joke translated
Me to a friend: You will go forward in life
Friend: Thanks
Me: Because wherever you will go, everyone will say, I don't have change please go forward
What did the Hindu wife say to her husband after their first night?
"You taste just like a cow."
Do you know why hindu worship Lord Ganesha first
Because we have to first address the elephant in the room
What do you call a cow...
...w/ no legs? Ground beef.
...w/ 1 leg? Stake.
...w/ 2 legs? Lean beef.
...w/ 3 legs? Tri-tip.
...w/ 4 legs? A cow, you d**....
...w/ 4 legs in the air? High stakes.
...w/ 5 legs? Chernobull.
...w/ no hind legs? An udder drag.
...w/ a twitch? Beef jerky.
I could keep going but I've milked this joke dry
Hindsight is overrated...
...20/19 was better
They say hindsight is 20/20.
Not tonight, my friends. Tonight, 2020 is in hindsight!
A blind man and his seeing eye dog enter a department store
In the middle of the household items aisle he suddenly stops, grabs his dog by the hind legs and swings him around above his head a couple of times.
Alarmed, the assistant manager comes running and exclaims "Sir! Sir! What are you doing?"
"Oh, just looking around", says the blind man
Hindu dies and goes to heaven...
Hindu dies and goes to heaven. He's standing at the pearly gates, talking to St Peter. He says, "I wish to speak to Jesus Christ", and St Peter turns his head and yells, "Jesus, your cab is here!"
Hindsight is 2020
I guess that's why last year was a**...
I was walking in the jungle…
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes
I turn to the local tribesman and said That lizard is really funny.
The tribesman replied That's not a lizard…
He's a stand up chameleon…
Two men are walking down the street when they see a dog....
Two men are walking down the street when they see a dog with one of its hind legs up in the air and it's snout buried in its c**.... They stop for a moment as the dog furiously tongues its b**....... just goin' to town on himself. The first man turns to his friend and asks, Wow, man..... my wife is pretty vanilla. I could never convince her to do something like that. Do you ever wish you could do that!?
The second man pauses for a moment and says well yeah, but shouldn't we pet him first to see if he's friendly?
A Hindu man an a Christian man were walking down the street.
As they were walking down the street, the circus drives by. There's the tent, there's a little car filled with clowns, and there's the trailers filled with animals.
As the animals are going by, the Christian man looks over and sees the elephants. He says to the Hindu man, "hey that elephant looks like your god."
The Hindu man looks down an alley and says "and that hobo looks like yours"
Why did the Hindu monk refuse Novocaine?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
A priest is being chased through the woods by a hungry bear.
As the priest is running, he makes an impassioned plea to God: Oh please God, in your infinite wisdom and mercy, turn this bear into a good Christian!
Before he can get another word out, he trips over a log and goes sprawling. The bear catches up and approaches the terrified priest. Rising up on its hind legs, it puts its paws together, and says
Lord, thank you for this meal that I am about to receive.
Why did the Hindu god Vishnu keep losing at chess?
Because every time he made a move, Shiva would destroy the board!
