The Best 44 Hills Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Hills jokes. There are some hills nebraska jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hills harry hill puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Hills Jokes and Puns
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. She just holds it in place, while the world revolves around her. * Beverly Hills ninja edit... rotates to revolves
Morris Schwartz is dying and on his deathbed.
He is surrounded by his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property."
Sarah replies, "Property shmoperty...the schmuck had a newspaper route."
Morning Jew
Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Centre."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says , "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property".
Sarah replies, "Property? The schmuck had a paper round!"
A survey revealed those who live on hills are more likely to say Yes to requests than those who live on plateaus.
I'm inclined to agree.
Inside the Alamo, Davy Crockett got up from his cot, walked across the dusty dirt floor to the ladder, and climbed to the roof. There, he found Sam Houston and Jim Bowie staring off in the distance...
...as over the hills rode straight toward them a thousand Mexicans. Davy thought for a moment and then said, "Guys...are we laying concrete today?"
Moses was the first hippie.
He was a guy who came from the hills with long hair and sandals, and he brought with him tablets that made everybody feel good.
Last year we painstakingly remodeled a midcentury modern house in the hills, including furniture from the period.
Then I put my Peloton bike right in the middle of the living room.
Welcome to Fabulous Hills!
A GAYted community!
Anyone? Eh? ok.
Hills have eyes...
They also have "L"s
A Man asks his lover in a restaurant
Man : Honey, what do you love most about me?
Woman : I love your company the most darling!
Man : Wow really? that is so sweet of you my love
Woman : Um, it's still making money right?
*edit :forgot to mention that I remember this joke from Benny Hills show, not my own joke
*edit 2 : Benny Hills not Benn, autocorrect strikes again!
Three old men
Three old men are golfing. One of them complains,
"Ya know, the hills these days are getting steeper and steeper"
His buddy one chimes in:
"Yep, and the clubs are getting heavier. They were way lighter when we were younger"
The third old man patiently listening finally says,
"Oh quit whining you two, at least we're on the right side of the grass."
You can explore hills mountain reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hills blueberry hill dad jokes. There are also hills puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you call it when a train goes between two hills
A knoll
Ive seen this place, filled with hills and green grass, people party and eat and just chill out. They live for hundreds of years in peace. Virtually no crime. sunshine most days, nice families, quaint neighbourhood...
anyone else notice there are no black hobbits in the shire?
This just in, Beverly Hills, 90210
Cleveland Browns, 3
>Credit to Colin Mochrie from *Whose Line Is It Anyway?*
Why won't I ever make a water feature on top of a mountain where a lot of baby horses are buried?
My mom taught me to never make fountains out of foal hills
What do you call sewage from Beverly Hills?
Affluent effluent
At a 4-way stop in Beverly Hills, who has the right of way?
The Range Rover.
What do fat girls and mopeds have in common?
They are both low maintenance but hard to get up hills
How does Harry Potter go down hills?
How does Harry Potter like to go down hills?
Walking...
J.K. Rowling
Everyone knows the Beverly Hills postal code os 90210
But did you know the Dawson's Creek post code is 90108 (...for our lives to be over)
Beverly Hills 90210
Cleveland Browns 3
We all know the zip code to Beverly Hills, it's 90210. But do you remember the one for Dawson's Creek?
It's 90108 (for our lives to be over)
If the ZIP code for Beverly Hills is 90210, what's the ZIP code for Dawson's Creek?
90108
(for our lives to be over)
I was out duck hunting with Olivia Wilde.
After a while, Olivia spotted a massive duck in the distance and insisted that I hunt it down.
I started to follow it, through bushes and brambles, woods and fields, over hills and through valleys, until finally, I caught up with it. The huge duck turned in my direction, honked and started running after me...
It was at that moment I realised, I wasn't pursuing a duck for Olivia, I was on a Wilde goose chase.
TIL the word Manhattan means island of many hills in the language of the original inhabitants and the hills were leveled as the city evolved.
I guess you could say it was man-flattened.
Demi Lovato just moved house recently...
... she lives right overdose hills
"What had its development cut short unexpectedly?" my father, a game nerd, asked as a riddle.
"Easy! *Silent Hills*!"
"... Your mother's pregnancy..."
I get up hills easily on all fours, I go down hills on both legs easily. What am I?
Some creep who goes up hills on all fours.
What's the difference between a sheep and a Welshman?
One lives in flocks in the hills and gets its hair shaved once a year, the other's a sheep.
I went to a meeting to decide the title for a yearly book on hills and mountains.
Annual: Summit
Parody of Jinga Bells
Dashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis
Over the hills we go, crashing into trees!
The snow is turning red, I think I might be dead,
I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head, oh!
9-1-1, 9-1-1, Santa Claus is dead!
Rudolph took a .44 and shot him in the head, oh!
Barbie Doll, Barbie Doll, tried to save his life,
But G.I. Joe from Mexico stabbed him with a knife!
I once ate a quarter ounce of mushrooms and drove from Flint from Auburn hills while being lectured by a Giant Goldcap on why i'd never do mushrooms again.
Turns out, he was completely right.
A man lost in the desert with his camel
Every day he gets lonelier and lonelier, when it gets to the point he decides he is going to have sex with his camel, but he couldn't reach, so every day he would try and try again to have sex with his camel standing on hills and on rocks but the camel would just try to run away. until one day, he comes across a beautiful woman, she asks for some water and will give anything in return so he says, can you hold my camel?
Why do characters in books and movies always prefer walking or running down hills?
Because Rowling makes them gay.
Young Bill
Young Bill was courting Mabel, from the adjoining cattle ranch.
One evening, as they sat on Bill's porch watching the sun go down over the western hills, Bill spied his prized stallion humping one of his mares.
He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the move on Mabel.
He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Mabel, I'd sure like to do what that stallion is doing."
Mabel whispered back, "Go ahead. She's your mare!"
Why did the non-binary prospector go out west?
Because there was gold in them/their hills.
Your mama is so fat...
When she goes to Rome it has 8 hills!
Cow stumbles into pot field
The steaks have never been higher.
Credit to indian hills puns check them out they're great
911 - A Parody Of Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis
Over the hills we go, crashing into trees!
The snow is turning red, I think I might be dead,
I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head, oh!
9-1-1, 9-1-1, Santa Claus is dead!
Rudolph took a .44 and shot him in the head, oh!
Barbie Doll, Barbie Doll, tried to save his life,
But G.I. Joe from Mexico stabbed him with a knife!
We all know the postcode to Beverley Hills; 90210. But do you know Dawson's Creek's postcode?
90108!
An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by
Then he spoke: Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses. Mary, you take the offices in the Center Center. Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are yours. To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings near downtown.
The nurse was really impressed. She said, Your husband must have been quite a man, amassing so much property to leave to all of you.
And the wife responded, What property? … the schmuck had a paper route!!
Sharp Retort
A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 dollars an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both of the women in the eyes, farts, and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"
Don't use Cops to protect the Capitol building!
Use barbers and hairdressers, the threat of a shave, shampoo and haircut should have most of them running for the hills!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hills hill jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working hills benny hill piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.