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Hills Jokes

81 hills jokes and hilarious hills puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hills that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Ready for a laugh? Dive into our collection of the funniest hills jokes about the Beverly Hills, Indian Hills, Alps, Sunrise and Mountain. Find the perfect joke and share it with your friends to get them giggling!

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Funniest Hills Short Jokes

Short hills jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hills humour may include short cliff jokes also.

  1. Why did it take the police so long to show up to Capitol Hill today? Because they had to go home and change first.
  2. Why did the non-binary prospector move West in 1849? Because there was gold up in them/their hills.
  3. Did you hear the one about the non binary gold prospector They dug a fortune out of them/their hills.
  4. Why did the non-binary prospector travel West in 1849? Because there's gold in them/their hills
  5. We all know the zip code to Beverly Hills, it's 90210. But do you remember the one for Dawson's Creek? It's 90108 (for our lives to be over)
  6. Did you hear about the non-binary gold prospector? They dug up a fortune in them/their hills.
  7. Events on Capitol Hill have gotten pretty dark Any darker and the police might actually do something about it
  8. How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. She just holds it in place, while the world revolves around her. * Beverly Hills ninja edit... rotates to revolves
  9. Why were people flocking to the gender neutral mine? Because there's gold in them/their hills
  10. I was writing a joke about a stone rolling up a hill, but it lost momentum. It still has potential.

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Hills One Liners

Which hills one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hills? I can suggest the ones about mountain and skies.

  1. What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? walking.

    j/k…rolling.
  2. How does harry potter get down a hill? By walking.
    J.K. Rowling
  3. Why are mountains so funny? Because they are hill areas.
    I'll show myself out
  4. How does the author of Harry Potter get down a hill? By walking. JK. Rolling
  5. How did Harry Potter make it to the bottom of the hill? By walking... jk rolling
  6. How did harry potter get down the hill? Walking.
    LoL
    JK. Rolling.
  7. What do you call 100 little sheep rolling down a hill? A lambslide
  8. What is Harry Potter's favorite method of getting down a hill? Walking....
    Jk, rolling
  9. The mountains aren't just funny, they're... Hill areas.
  10. How does a transphobe get down hill? Walking.
    JK, rolling
  11. What do you get when a chicken lays its eggs on the top of a hill? Egg rolls.
  12. Why did the hikers laugh at the mountains? Because they were hill areas
  13. Why did the tea-bag fall down the hill? To steep.
  14. What do you call a pig that's falling down a hill? A sausage roll.
  15. Why do mountain ranges make such good comedians? Because they're HILL-AREAS!

Beverly Hills Jokes

Here is a list of funny beverly hills jokes and even better beverly hills puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If the ZIP code for Beverly Hills is 90210, what's the ZIP code for Dawson's Creek? 90108
    (for our lives to be over)
  • This just in, Beverly Hills, 90210 Cleveland Browns, 3
    >Credit to Colin Mochrie from *Whose Line Is It Anyway?*
  • What do you call sewage from Beverly Hills? Affluent effluent
  • Everyone knows the Beverly Hills postal code os 90210 But did you know the Dawson's Creek post code is 90108 (...for our lives to be over)
  • At a 4-way stop in Beverly Hills, who has the right of way? The Range Rover.
  • Beverly Hills 90210 Cleveland Browns 3
  • Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
  • What's a Beverly Hills Cop's favourite curry? Chicken Tikkaaaaaah
  • This just in: Beverly Hills 90210 , Cleveland browns, 0
  • Beverly Hills - 90210 Denver Broncos - 16

Indian Hills Jokes

Here is a list of funny indian hills jokes and even better indian hills puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Cow stumbles into p**... field The steaks have never been higher.
    Credit to indian hills puns check them out they're great
Hills joke, Cow stumbles into p**... field

Hills joke, Cow stumbles into p**... field

Hilarious Hills Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about hills you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean yards jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hills pranks.

Jeb and Jethro

Jeb and Jethro live in the hills, about 5 miles outside of town. Jeb asks Jethro to go in to town to pick up some lumber. Jethro walks the 5 miles to town to the local
lumberyard.
"Jeb says we're gonna need some 4 x 2's" Jethro tells the yardman.
"Do you mean 2 x 4's?" asks the yardman.
"Well, I don't rightly know, I better go ask Jeb" says Jethro and walks the 10 miles to the hills and back to town.
"Jeb says we're gonna need 2 x 4's" Jethro tells the yardman.
"Now, how many 2 x 4's will you need?" asks the yardman.
"Well, I don't rightly know, I better go ask Jeb." says Jethro, and again walks the 10 miles to the hills and back to town.
"Jeb says were gonna need about 40 of 'em" Jethro tells the yardman.
"Now, how long will you need them?" asks the yardman.
"Well, I don't rightly know, I better go ask Jeb" says Jethro and yet again walks the 10 miles to the hills and back to town.
Upon returning Jethro says to the yardman, "Jeb says you better give 'em to us for a while . . . we're gonna build a barn."

Morris Schwartz is dying and on his deathbed.

He is surrounded by his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"h**..., I want you to take the offices over in City Center."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property."
Sarah replies, "Property shmoperty...the s**... had a newspaper route."

Morning Jew

Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"h**..., I want you to take the offices over in City Centre."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says , "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property".
Sarah replies, "Property? The s**... had a paper round!"

A survey revealed those who live on hills are more likely to say Yes to requests than those who live on plateaus.

I'm inclined to agree.

Inside the Alamo, Davy Crockett got up from his cot, walked across the dusty dirt floor to the ladder, and climbed to the roof. There, he found Sam Houston and Jim Bowie staring off in the distance...

...as over the hills rode straight toward them a thousand Mexicans. Davy thought for a moment and then said, "Guys...are we laying concrete today?"

Moses was the first hippie.

He was a guy who came from the hills with long hair and sandals, and he brought with him tablets that made everybody feel good.

Welcome to Fabulous Hills!

A GAYted community!
Anyone? Eh? ok.

Hills have eyes...

They also have "L"s

A Man asks his lover in a restaurant

Man : Honey, what do you love most about me?
Woman : I love your company the most darling!
Man : Wow really? that is so sweet of you my love
Woman : Um, it's still making money right?
*edit :forgot to mention that I remember this joke from Benny Hills show, not my own joke

*edit 2 : Benny Hills not Benn, autocorrect strikes again!

Three old men

Three old men are golfing. One of them complains,
"Ya know, the hills these days are getting steeper and steeper"
His buddy one chimes in:
"Yep, and the clubs are getting heavier. They were way lighter when we were younger"
The third old man patiently listening finally says,
"Oh quit whining you two, at least we're on the right side of the grass."

What do you call it when a train goes between two hills

A knoll

Ive seen this place, filled with hills and green grass, people party and eat and just chill out. They live for hundreds of years in peace. Virtually no crime. sunshine most days, nice families, quaint neighbourhood...

anyone else notice there are no black hobbits in the shire?

Why won't I ever make a water feature on top of a mountain where a lot of baby horses are buried?

My mom taught me to never make fountains out of foal hills

How does Harry Potter go down hills?

How does Harry Potter like to go down hills?

Walking...
J.K. Rowling

I was out duck hunting with Olivia Wilde.

After a while, Olivia spotted a massive duck in the distance and insisted that I hunt it down.
I started to follow it, through bushes and brambles, woods and fields, over hills and through valleys, until finally, I caught up with it. The huge duck turned in my direction, honked and started running after me...
It was at that moment I realised, I wasn't pursuing a duck for Olivia, I was on a Wilde goose chase.

TIL the word Manhattan means island of many hills in the language of the original inhabitants and the hills were leveled as the city evolved.

I guess you could say it was man-flattened.

Demi Lovato just moved house recently...

... she lives right overdose hills

"What had its development cut short unexpectedly?" my father, a game nerd, asked as a riddle.

"Easy! *Silent Hills*!"
"... Your mother's pregnancy..."

What's the difference between a sheep and a Welshman?

One lives in flocks in the hills and gets its hair s**... once a year, the other's a sheep.

I went to a meeting to decide the title for a yearly book on hills and mountains.

Annual: Summit

Parody of Jinga Bells

Dashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis
Over the hills we go, crashing into trees!
The snow is turning red, I think I might be dead,
I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head, oh!
9-1-1, 9-1-1, Santa Claus is dead!
Rudolph took a .44 and shot him in the head, oh!
Barbie Doll, Barbie Doll, tried to save his life,
But G.I. Joe from Mexico stabbed him with a knife!

I once ate a quarter ounce of mushrooms and drove from Flint from Auburn hills while being lectured by a Giant Goldcap on why i'd never do mushrooms again.

Turns out, he was completely right.

A man lost in the desert with his camel

Every day he gets lonelier and lonelier, when it gets to the point he decides he is going to have s**... with his camel, but he couldn't reach, so every day he would try and try again to have s**... with his camel standing on hills and on rocks but the camel would just try to run away. until one day, he comes across a beautiful woman, she asks for some water and will give anything in return so he says, can you hold my camel?

Why do characters in books and movies always prefer walking or running down hills?

Because Rowling makes them gay.

Young Bill

Young Bill was courting Mabel, from the adjoining cattle ranch.
One evening, as they sat on Bill's porch watching the sun go down over the western hills, Bill spied his prized stallion h**... one of his mares.
He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the move on Mabel.
He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Mabel, I'd sure like to do what that stallion is doing."
Mabel whispered back, "Go ahead. She's your mare!"

Why did the non-binary prospector go out west?

Because there was gold in them/their hills.

Your mama is so fat...

When she goes to Rome it has 8 hills!

911 - A Parody Of Jingle Bells

Dashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis
Over the hills we go, crashing into trees!
The snow is turning red, I think I might be dead,
I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head, oh!
9-1-1, 9-1-1, Santa Claus is dead!
Rudolph took a .44 and shot him in the head, oh!
Barbie Doll, Barbie Doll, tried to save his life,
But G.I. Joe from Mexico stabbed him with a knife!

We all know the postcode to Beverley Hills; 90210. But do you know Dawson's Creek's postcode?

90108!

An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by

Then he spoke: Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses. Mary, you take the offices in the Center Center. Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are yours. To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings near downtown.
The nurse was really impressed. She said, Your husband must have been quite a man, amassing so much property to leave to all of you.
And the wife responded, What property? … the s**... had a paper route!!

Sharp Retort

A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 dollars an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both of the women in the eyes, farts, and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"

Don't use Cops to protect the Capitol building!

Use barbers and hairdressers, the threat of a shave, shampoo and haircut should have most of them running for the hills!

Why Did The Gender Fluid Canadian Head Back To 1800's California?

Because there's Gold in Them/Their Hills!

The Irish farmer

While on a trip in Europe, the farmer from Texas was driving through Ireland. He came to a farm and saw a man repairing a fence by the road. The Texan stopped and asked the man if this was his farm. Oh yes answered the Irish farmer, everything you see from the river down there to the hills up there is mine. The Texan smiled and said – well on my farm back in Texas I can drive my car the whole day without reaching the other side.
Now it was the Irish mans turn to smile while he said - Oh, I used to have a car like that too.

Why did the transgender r**... move to California in 1848?

Because there was gold up in them/their hills

What did the prospector say about his more successful, non-binary neighbor?

There's gold in them/their hills!

Why did the non-binary prospector go to San Francisco in 1849?

'Cause there was gold in them/their hills!

A Newcastle girl goes into a hair salon

The stylist says "Why aye lass, what do yee want?"
"Can I have a perm please?" says the customer. The stylist responds:
*Ah wandered lernley as a cloud that flerts on high oer vales an' hills...*

How do you know a gold prospector is non-binary?

He says that there is gold in them/their hills

The following is a joke from 'Harry Hills Whopping Great Joke Book' and I really don't get it. Could anyone enlighten me?

My wife is a stickler for tidiness. I just bought her a cuckoo clock and she's started putting paper under it.

Hills joke, Why were people flocking to the gender neutral mine?

jokes about hills