Hillbilly Jokes
85 hillbilly jokes and hilarious hillbilly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hillbilly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hillbilly Short Jokes
Short hillbilly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hillbilly humour may include short billy kid jokes also.
- In America you call people who marry their cousins hillbillys In Europe we call them Royals
- Why don't h**... ever try reverse c**...? Because you don't turn your back on family.
- What's the difference between America and Europe? In America, we call our i**... h**....
In Europe, they call them royals. - Why is Halloween a h**...'s favorite holiday? Because they like to pumpkin.
I'll see myself out... - A h**... tells his parents he won't marry his fiance because she is a v**.... "If she isn't good enough for her own family, then she isn't good enough for ours!"
- Why are even the best forensic teams unable to catch h**... criminals? Because they all share the same DNA and there are no dental records.
- What do you get when you cross a h**... and a m**... suspect? A person of i**....
- Did you hear about the h**... who was called to testify in court? When he spoke you could only see the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
- Since married famous people often mix names, shouldn't Hillary and Bill's be... h**...?
- How do you know when you're staying in a h**... hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink,"
and the clerk replies, "okay, Go ahead."
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Hillbilly One Liners
Which hillbilly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hillbilly? I can suggest the ones about little billy and country boy.
- What do hillbillys do during halloween ? They Pumpkin
- What did the deity say when it came back as a hill-billy? "What incarnation?!?"
- Why do hillbillys like to use dull knives? theyre not very sharp
- A hobo and a goat are hiking up a small mountain. Who is the hill-billy?
- What is it called when you die and come back as a h**...? Reintarnation
- What do you call the moisture between two h**... having s**...? Relative humidity.
- There's a movie coming out soon about h**...... I can't wait to see the trailer.
- What is it called when a h**... is reborn? Reintarnation
- How did the h**... find the sheep in the tall grass? Satisfying
- What do h**... do on Halloween? Pump kin.
- I died and came back as a h**.... That's called reintarnation.
- How did the h**... find his sister in the woods? Pretty Hot
- What do a t**... and h**... have in common? They both like to throw a hoedown.
- What is it called when a h**... comes back to life? Reintarnation.
- What's it called when a h**... gets resurrected? Reintarnation
Fun-Filled Hillbilly Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about hillbilly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean country girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hillbilly pranks.
There are two kinds of h**... women. Those who get married and have a lot of kids....
....and those who are a single and have a lot of kids.
How do you circumcise a h**...?
You kick his sister in the chin
Did you hear about the h**... yeast?
It was in bread.....
A plane from J.F.K. is coming in to land at a rural airport in Arkansas at midnight.
Mouthy pilot turns to his co-pilot, winks & says "watch this"......
"Pilot to control tower......hey there h**..., guess who!!"
Control tower switches off the airport lights.....
"Control tower to pilot....... Hey there Yankee, guess *where!!*"
What did the h**... say to his sister after she asked him to have s**... with her?
If you i**....
A h**... walks up to his sister and says "have s**... with me."
She replies "if you i**...."
Two h**... got married.
On their wedding night, the h**... groom admitted that he was a v**... and didn't really know what to do.
The h**... bride, who was much experienced, just giggled and said, "Silly, you just take that thing you play with and put it where I pee." So he got up, grabbed his banjo and threw it in the sink.
Why do some goats scream like humans?
They evolved this way to have a h**... r**... alarm.
A h**... invites his new neighbor to a party...
he says "there'll be a whole lotta drinkin', dancin', and screwin'..."
His neighbor asks if he can bring anything.
h**... says, "you can bring anything you want, just goin' be me and you..."
*credit to "Mad Men"*
[OFFENSIVE] How do you circumcise a h**...?
Kick his sister in the jaw...
(Heard this one the other day from a friend, and thought I might share it here. :P)
A black man, a Mexican, a Muslim and a h**... are all playing Russian Roulette together. Who is guaranteed to win?
Society.
Why are h**... murders hard to solve
Because they all share the same DNA
What do a h**... and a nepotist blackberry executive have in common?
They both give their relatives rim jobs.
What do you call a h**... giraffe that lives in a trailer and drinks beer all day?
A rednnnnnneeeeeeeccccccccckkkkkk.
What do h**... and yeast have in common?
They're both in bred
Coming Back as a h**...
Q. What do you call it when you die and come back as a h**...?
A. Reintarnation
How do you castrate a h**...?
You kick his sister in the jaw
Why do h**... like sandwiches?
They're in bread
What do you call a h**... after he is all grown up?
A mountain goat of course!
What do h**... do for Halloween?
Pumpkin
What to you call a room full of h**...?
A full set of teeth
What do you call a h**... who owns sheep and goats.
Bisexual.
Why do h**... have such dirty elbows?
because you cant lick yourself there
How do h**... gourds reproduce?
They pump kin.
h**... murders are the hardest to solve
They don't have dental records and all their DNA is the same.
What's the best part about getting married when you're a h**...?
You only have to send invitations to one family.
Where do h**... like to hang out during the summer?
The shallow end of the gene pool.
What do h**... and sandwiches have in common?
They're in bread.
Why are h**... men not circumcised?
Because they need somewhere to carry their chew.
How do you circumcise a h**...?
Give his sister an uppercut.
What do 24 h**... have in common?
One complete set of teeth
A h**... girl tells her guy How about we try reverse c**... tonight?
He replies Hey! You never turn your back on family.
Two h**... are discussing plans for dinner
After throwing ideas back and forth of what to cook, their eyes catch some roadkill on the side of the road. One of them eagerly suggests, "how about Himalayan Woodchuck?"
"Himalayan Woodchuck?" the other h**... scoffed. "What in the devil is that?"
"You know," the other says, gesturing towards the corpse, "because we found Himalayan on the side of the road."
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
(h**...) Well I gots no i-dear-ah
I'm not trying to sound political and all but
h**... is short for Hilliam William
John gave his h**... cousin Billy a phonecard. "You can make calls with this ." John then went to get a drink.
In the corner of his eye, he noticed Billy whispering frantically into the card: "Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?"
What's the difference between a r**... and a h**...?
A r**... will kill you but a h**... will keep you
What's long and hard on a h**...?
second grade.
Yeast is a lot like a h**....
It's in bread
Two h**... were sipping shine on the front porch
When a truck went passed loaded up with rolls of sod.
I'm a-gonna do that when I win that there lottery announced h**... #1.
Do wuuuut? Asked h**... #2.
Send my lawn out to git mowed.
What do h**... call their relatives from past generations?
Their incestors
Came up with it myself. How did I do?
This 4th of July it's important to remember that calling all Americans "Yanks" is a racist stereotype.
We have r**... and h**... too!
How did the h**... find his cousin in the woods?
Pretty good.
I finally convinced my h**... friend to get a Covid vaccination, but he doesn't want Moderna.
He says, just because she sang some good pop songs back in the 80s don't mean she knows how to make a vaccine! .
A h**... walks into a Brooklyn bar…
…with a frog on his shoulder. As he steps up to the bar the bartender asks him, Hey where did you get that? The frog answers East Kentucky, they're all over the place down there.
Reintarnation
Being brought back to life as a h**...
What do you call a fancy h**...?
A Hill William.
