The Best 94 Hillary Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Hillary jokes. There are some hillary kaine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hillary democrat puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Hillary Jokes and Puns

Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve?

They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.

Bill Clinton steps off of a helicopter onto the White House lawn

He's carrying a pig under each arm. A marine who's there to greet him says, "Nice pigs, sir!" Clinton responds, "Thank you! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea." The marine replies, "Nice trade, sir!"

Last year Hillary got a concussion. Obama recently bumped into Clinton and asked "Bill, how is Hillary's head?"

"Not as good as Monica"

Hillary joke, Last year Hillary got a concussion. Obama recently bumped into Clinton and asked "Bill, how is Hilla

The Pope and Hillary Clinton

The Pope and Hillary Clinton are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leans towards Hillary and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in the crowd go wild with joy? The joy will not be a momentary display , but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice."

Hillary replied, "I seriously doubt that with one little wave of your hand that is possible; show me."

His Holiness then backhanded Hillary and knocked her off the stage! The crowd roared and cheered wildly and there was happiness throughout the land.

A new study has found that Donald Trump supporters make the most grammatical errors.

They tried to find Hillary supporters errors as well, but they got deleted.


Hillary Clinton sucks!

No she doesn't, because if she did Bill wouldn't have Monica.

Monica Lewinsky has released the following statement on Hillary Clinton's run for the American Presidency:

"I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."

Hillary joke, Monica Lewinsky has released the following statement on Hillary Clinton's run for the American Presi

Hillary Clinton is in the hospital...

She is being treated for third degree Berns.

Bernie Sanders is such a socialist...

...he gave Hillary Clinton half the votes in Iowa.

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush jump of a bridge. They do a race who hits the ground first. Who wins?

Society

If President Bernie Sanders were to die in office...

And an elaborate homage to Weekend at Bernie's was undertaken to cover up that fact, he'd still have less strings than Hillary Clinton.

You can explore hillary barack reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hillary presidency dad jokes. There are also hillary puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Hillary was shown a video of her flip-flopping on issues all over her career.

At first, she was upset. Now she says she's ok with it.

What does Bill say to Hillary after sex?

Honey I'll be home in 20 minutes.

So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton.

That is the joke. There's no punchline here.

I'm voting for Hillary Clinton because...

According to Bill, she doesn't suck.

Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election

She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth

Hillary joke, Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are together on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it sinks, who survives?

America.

What's Hillary Clinton's favorite Christmas carol?

Depends, what is yours?


Why did vatican invite Bernie not Hillary?

They couldn't afford it.

The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is

......both inspire you to vote against Hillary.

I heard the Pope's first choice for a guest was in fact Hillary...

But he couldn't afford her speaking fees

What does Hillary Clinton use to drown the noise of Black Lives Matter protesters?

White noise

If I had a dollar for every time Hillary played the Woman Card

...I'd have $0.77 cents.

Bill Clinton said Hillary is clearly the best choice for president...

He knows for a fact there is no chance she'll blow it.

If Hillary becomes president

She'll be sitting at the desk Monica sat under

What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an acronym?

An acronym stands for something

Hillary Clinton is the Windows 10 of the election

She's terrible at keeping your information safe, keeps promising new upgrades but really has been the same OS since 98, and is constantly trying to install herself when you're happy with the system you've been using for the last 8 years.

Hillary Clinton will potentially be the first f***** president.

I wrote female, but apparently someone deleted the email

If Hillary wins I'm leaving the country if trump wins I'm leaving the country.

Not a political repost I'm just getting deported

Hillary is talking to The Pope, and he says...

"With but one wave of my hand, I can make these people feel joy. Joy that nothing else in the world can bring. And it will be an eternal, everlasting joy."

Hillary says "I'll believe that when I see it."

And so, the Pope raises his hand into the air, and slaps her across the face, and the crowd goes wild.

What does Hillary Clinton say when she's unhappy at a restaurant?

Can I have a different server?

Those "Run Hillary, Run!" bumper stickers are selling incredibly well

Democrats put them on the back of their cars, Republicans put them on the front!

[OC] What is Hillary Clinton's favorite video game?

Super-Pac man.

What's Hillary Clinton's key to success?

The Delete Key

If Hillary wins, I'm moving to...

Benghazi. At least I know there, she'll leave me alone

There's an email going around that claims to include a nude photo of Hillary Clinton

Don't open it. It contains a nude photo of Hillary Clinton.

The Joker is in a room with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, and has a gun with one bullet, who does he shoot?

Neither. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Hillary Clinton has a seizure during the debate...

"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"

Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.

"Hey!" Trump interrupts, "Is she allowed to just steal my answer like that??"

Why wouldn't Hillary Clinton let Bill be her IT manager?

She was too worried how often the servers would go down on him.

Hillary Clinton walks into a bar...

Hillary Clinton walks into a bar with a pig on a leash.

The bartender looks at them and says "You can't bring that cow in here!"

Hillary replies, "It's a pig, not a cow."

The bartender says "I was talking to the pig."

If Hillary Clinton is elected as our first female President it's really going to redefine a few things for me....

....Like the words President Bush.

How many Hillary Clinton fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Hillary Clinton fans prefer to stay in the dark.

What do Hillary Clinton and the World Trade Center have in common?

Both collapsed on 9/11 after becoming overheated.

Why do people like Hillary Clinton?

When she can't even stand herself?

If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one...

What type of sandwich would you make?

My friend Dave told me this joke about Hillary Clinton yesterday...

I was just wondering if anyone here has heard from him?

I'm in a room with Trump, Hillary and a gun and I'm allowed to legally shoot one of them. Whoever lives becomes president. Who do I shoot?

Myself.

I really think Hillary Clinton will be the first f president

Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted

What Movie does Hillary Watch when she's in a Bad Mood..?

Kill Bill.

It's looking like Hillary is definitely going to win the election

I think I might move to Benghazi, at least she'll leave me alone there.

If hillary nukes Russia I can see the headlines now

"Everyone in Moscow commits suicide"

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump walk into a bar.

They ask the bartender, "What have you got?"

The bartender points to two taps.

They say, "What? That's it?! We don't like either of those choices!"

The bartender says, "Now you know how I feel."

Hillary and Trump tie in the election...

And the election moderator isn't sure what to do. So he decides that the president will be decided by a foot race around the White House lawn.
Trump is up first, and his final time around the lawn is 10 minutes 11 seconds.
Hillary is up next, and her final time around the lawn is 9:20.
The moderator tells Hillary she's won the election and the presidency, and tells her her time. Hillary asks "9:20? Is that a record around the lawn?"
The moderator says "No, Bush did 9:11".

A mosquito bit Hillary Clinton the other day...

It was later found to have hit itself in the back of the head with a fly swatter.

George Soros is a big reason im voting for Hillary!

His voting machines didn't really give me a choice.

Bill Clinton: "I sure hope Hillary gets better interns than I did..."

"All of mine sucked"

So the FBI is reopening their investigation due to emails found on computers at Anthony Weiner's house.

If these emails bring Hillary down, it'll be the first time she's been screwed by a Weiner in years.

Since married famous people often mix names, shouldn't Hillary and Bill's be...

Hillbilly?

I feel for Hillary Clinton

The FBI found a server in my basement too. She was from Hooters I think.

Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...

Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

What's the most embarrassing part about Hillary Clinton's emails?

The Nigerian Prince actually came through with the money transfer.

If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country. If Hillary wins, I'm leaving the country.

This isn't a political joke, I just really wanna travel.

There is still hope for for Hillary Clinton

Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.

How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

Now I'm not saying I'm a good businessman

But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become President.

This speech will be very hard for Hillary Clinton...

She isn't getting paid for it

If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election...

...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!

Bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning.

He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.

Hillary wouldve made girls believe they can be President

Trump made EVERYONE believe they can be President.

Why does Hillary Clinton have two Ls in her first name?

1 for 2008, 1 for 2016

Monica Lewinsky said it 20 years ago and she said it again this year

Hillary Clinton wasn't the right person for the job.

Hillary's mad at Satan

Hillary: Satan! We had a deal! Where's the election victory that you promised me?

Satan: Where's the soul that you said you had?

To Hillary supporters, don't give up hope!

Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President.

What do the Hindenberg, the Titanic and Hillary Clinton have in common?

Going down on any of them would be horrifying.

I was told, if I voted for Hillary, they predicted Obamacare would continue and we'd go to war with Syria...

I did, and the predictions came true!

Hillary Clinton would've been the first F president

I would've said female, but she deleted the email.

Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet.

Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

Donald Trump said if I voted for Hillary Clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation.

I did and we do.

How did Hillary Clinton beat Bernie? The same way Monica beat Bill...

under the table

They should send Hillary Clinton to the U.S. Mexico border

Since no one can get over her...

They should build the wall out of Hillary

People clearly can't get over her.

If Hillary Clinton won she would've been the first F president.

I didn't say female because someone deleted the emale.

I was warned in November 2016...

People warned me, that if I voted for Hillary Clinton it would be the end of civility and truthfulness in the US as we know it, the deficit would skyrocket, and there would be never ending investigations of the president.

Well, I voted for Hillary and that was what happened!

We should use Hillary Clinton's emails to build a wall

Because a lot of people can't seem to get over it.

If Donald Trump had really wanted Hillary Clinton locked up, he should have just…

…given her a job on his campaign team…

How did Hillary Clinton lose the 2016 presidential election?

She was Trumped.

How many Russians does it take to make Hillary Clinton lose an election?

None

Hillary gave Jeffrey Epstein a high five

but she still left him hanging

What does Hillary Clinton day when she calls the suicide hotline?

Hello, I'd like to place an order

Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, and Donald Trump are all on a sinking ship. Who gets saved?

America.

If Trump really wanted Hillary to be locked up...

He should have just hired her!

The Clintons at President Reagan's funeral

I don't know if any of you watched the memorial service for Ronald Reagan, but if you did, you might've noticed Bill and Hillary were both dozing off.

Reagan, who never missed the opportunity for a good one-liner, raised his head out of the casket and said I see the Clintons are finally sleeping together

So Hillary Clinton decides to have the talk with Chelsea.

She asks if Chelsea is sexually active yet to which Chelsea replies, "Not according to Dad."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hillary bush jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hillary hillary clinton piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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