The Best 83 Hill Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Hill jokes. There are some hill uphill jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hill canyon puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Hill Jokes and Puns

Why don't hillbillies ever try reverse cowgirl?

Because you don't turn your back on family.

How did the hillbilly find his sister in the woods?

Pretty Hot

A large group of Russian soldiers...

A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russians."

Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn is better than one thousand Russians!"

The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought.... Then silence.

Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander,
"Don't send any more men......it's a trap. There are two of them."

Hill joke, A large group of Russian soldiers...

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To reach the bottom.
As told by my 5 y/o cousin.

What do hillbillies do on Halloween?

Pump kin.


Another Jack and Jill joke

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, pulled down his fly and asked Jill "Do ya wanna?"
Jill said "Yes" Took off her dress and they had a little fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

Two cows are standing on a hill....

One turns to the other and says "Hey, aren't you worried about mad cow disease?"

The other replies, "Why should I care? I'm a helicopter!"

Hill joke, Two cows are standing on a hill....

Johnny and Ruth are mountain biking down a hill...

...Ruth hits a tree. Johnny continues, ruthlessly.

How did the hillbilly find the sheep in the tall grass?

Satisfying

How do you make a Swiss Roll?

Push him down a hill.

BONUS: How do you make French Wine?

Invade.

Why did the tea-bag fall down the hill?

To steep.

You can explore hill atop reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hill downhill dad jokes. There are also hill puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why are mountains so funny?

Because they are hill areas.

I'll show myself out

A hillbilly tells his parents he won't marry his fiance because she is a virgin.

"If she isn't good enough for her own family, then she isn't good enough for ours!"

Hillary Clinton sucks!

No she doesn't, because if she did Bill wouldn't have Monica.

Hillary says it's time to have a woman in the Oval Office.

Bill says - been there, done that ...

Guy joins the Army...

... but they are out of bayonets and ammo. They tell him to run into battle yelling "Bangitty bangitty bang!!! "Stabbity stabbity stab!"

Much to his surprise, enemy soldiers are dropping all around him.

Then, this really big enemy comes over the hill. The guy yells, "Bangitty bangitty bang!!! "Stabbity stabbity stab!", but the enemy keeps advancing and mows him down. As the enemy walks over him, he hears him shout, "Tankitty tankitty tank!"

Hill joke, Guy joins the Army...

Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

It ran out of juice.

I shall take my leave now.

Hillary Clinton is in the hospital...

She is being treated for third degree Berns.

Hillary was shown a video of her flip-flopping on issues all over her career.

At first, she was upset. Now she says she's ok with it.


Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

Three vampires are sitting on the graveyard wall.

Three vampires are sitting on the graveyard wall.

The first says that he is really hungry and flys into the night. After half an hour he returns and his mouth is full of blood. The other two ask him: "where did you get that?" He answers: "Do you see that little light across the hill? It was a little family at a camping trip. Delicious!" 

The second vampire starts in the air and returns 15minutes later, the whole face covered with blood. The others ask jealousy: "Where have you been?" Smiling he answers: "You guys see that group of lights down there? It was a wedding with over 20guests. I don't have to eat for a week!"

Finally the third vampire starts into the dark sky, and returns about five minutes later. His whole body, top to bottom is covered in blood.

Exited the other two ask:"Man where did you go?!" 

"Do you see that tree right there?"

"Yes"

"Well, I didn't"

What's Hillary Clinton's favorite Christmas carol?

Depends, what is yours?

What does Hillary Clinton use to drown the noise of Black Lives Matter protesters?

White noise

If Hillary becomes president

She'll be sitting at the desk Monica sat under

Hillary Clinton is the Windows 10 of the election

She's terrible at keeping your information safe, keeps promising new upgrades but really has been the same OS since 98, and is constantly trying to install herself when you're happy with the system you've been using for the last 8 years.

Hillary Clinton will potentially be the first f***** president.

I wrote female, but apparently someone deleted the email

If Hillary wins I'm leaving the country if trump wins I'm leaving the country.

Not a political repost I'm just getting deported

Hillary is talking to The Pope, and he says...

"With but one wave of my hand, I can make these people feel joy. Joy that nothing else in the world can bring. And it will be an eternal, everlasting joy."

Hillary says "I'll believe that when I see it."

And so, the Pope raises his hand into the air, and slaps her across the face, and the crowd goes wild.

What does Hillary Clinton say when she's unhappy at a restaurant?

Can I have a different server?

[OC] What is Hillary Clinton's favorite video game?

Super-Pac man.

What's Hillary Clinton's key to success?

The Delete Key

If Hillary wins, I'm moving to...

Benghazi. At least I know there, she'll leave me alone

Bacon tree

Two soldiers are sat on top of a hill looking for targets. One says to the other

"Hey bob, is that...is that a bacon tree?"

"I don't know Jim, go have a look while I stay here and cover our backs"

Jim goes for a closer look and Bob stays on the hill eating his lunch. After a while Jim returns with about ten arrows in his chest.

"My god what happened? Was it a bacon tree?"

"No Bob, turned out to be a ham bush"

Hillary Clinton has a seizure during the debate...

"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"

Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.

"Hey!" Trump interrupts, "Is she allowed to just steal my answer like that??"

I was writing a joke about a stone rolling up a hill, but it lost momentum.

It still has potential.

Why wouldn't Hillary Clinton let Bill be her IT manager?

She was too worried how often the servers would go down on him.

Hillary Clinton walks into a bar...

Hillary Clinton walks into a bar with a pig on a leash.

The bartender looks at them and says "You can't bring that cow in here!"

Hillary replies, "It's a pig, not a cow."

The bartender says "I was talking to the pig."

If Hillary Clinton is elected as our first female President it's really going to redefine a few things for me....

....Like the words President Bush.

How many Hillary Clinton fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Hillary Clinton fans prefer to stay in the dark.

What do Hillary Clinton and the World Trade Center have in common?

Both collapsed on 9/11 after becoming overheated.

I really think Hillary Clinton will be the first f president

Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted

How did Harry Potter make it to the bottom of the hill?

By walking... jk rolling

It's looking like Hillary is definitely going to win the election

I think I might move to Benghazi, at least she'll leave me alone there.

If hillary nukes Russia I can see the headlines now

"Everyone in Moscow commits suicide"

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump walk into a bar.

They ask the bartender, "What have you got?"

The bartender points to two taps.

They say, "What? That's it?! We don't like either of those choices!"

The bartender says, "Now you know how I feel."

Hillary and Trump tie in the election...

And the election moderator isn't sure what to do. So he decides that the president will be decided by a foot race around the White House lawn.
Trump is up first, and his final time around the lawn is 10 minutes 11 seconds.
Hillary is up next, and her final time around the lawn is 9:20.
The moderator tells Hillary she's won the election and the presidency, and tells her her time. Hillary asks "9:20? Is that a record around the lawn?"
The moderator says "No, Bush did 9:11".

Hillary wouldve made girls believe they can be President

Trump made EVERYONE believe they can be President.

Why does Hillary Clinton have two Ls in her first name?

1 for 2008, 1 for 2016

To Hillary supporters, don't give up hope!

Nelson Mandela served 27 years in prison before becoming President.

I tripped and fell while mountain-climbing...

It all went down hill from there.

How does Harry Potter get down a hill?

By walking.

J.K. Rowling

Hillary Clinton would've been the first F president

I would've said female, but she deleted the email.

Why did the hikers laugh at the mountains?

Because they were hill areas

How did Hillary Clinton beat Bernie? The same way Monica beat Bill...

under the table

What is Harry Potter's favorite method of getting down a hill?

Walking....

Jk, rolling

Two windmills are sitting on a hill. One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?"

The other windmill replies "I'm a big metal fan."

Researchers rolled an assortment of vegetables down a hill to see which would travel fastest

Stephen Hawking won by a landslide

I fondly remember our childhood when Dad used to roll us down the hill in a tire.

Those were the Good Years.

If Hillary Clinton won she would've been the first F president.

I didn't say female because someone deleted the emale.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said You know you wanna . Jill said yes, pulled up her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

Use contraceptives kids.

We should use Hillary Clinton's emails to build a wall

Because a lot of people can't seem to get over it.

I remember my childhood quite fondly when Dad used to roll us down the hill inside car tires.

Those were the Good Years.

How does the author of Harry Potter get down a hill? By walking.

JK. Rolling

An Irishman's dog dies so he goes to see the local priest.

An Irishman's dog dies so he goes to see the local priest and tells him, "Father, me old dog died. Can ye say a wee mass for the old gal?"

"No. Can't do it. The Church doesn't do funeral mass for pets, but I'll tell you what, the Protestant church down the hill will most likely do it. They don't have the same high standards that we do."

"Fine father, but I have one more question for ye. Would two hundred euro be enough of a donation to thank them for their services."

The priest's eye grew wide and he slapped the man on the back telling him, "Ahhh, man, why didn't you TELL me that your dog was Catholic?!"

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are relaxing on a hill

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are relaxing on a hill overlooking an abandoned house. They watch two people enter the house through a broken window. Time passes. Later they observe three people leave the house.

The physicist says, "Our measurements weren't accurate."

The biologist says, "They must have reproduced."

The mathematician says, "If one more person goes inside, the house will be empty."

How did harry potter get down the hill?

Walking.

LoL

JK. Rolling.

Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, and Donald Trump are all on a sinking ship. Who gets saved?

America.

The mountains aren't just funny, they're...

Hill areas.

So Hillary Clinton decides to have the talk with Chelsea.

She asks if Chelsea is sexually active yet to which Chelsea replies, "Not according to Dad."

Why did it take the police so long to show up to Capitol Hill today?

Because they had to go home and change first.

Events on Capitol Hill have gotten pretty dark

Any darker and the police might actually do something about it

What's black and white, black and white, and black and white?

"A penguin rolling down a hill"

My 6 y.o just told me this one and I don't know why I laughed so hard. I felt it should be shared. Lol

Two hillbillies were sipping shine on the front porch

When a truck went passed loaded up with rolls of sod.

I'm a-gonna do that when I win that there lottery announced hillbilly #1.

Do wuuuut? Asked hillbilly #2.

Send my lawn out to git mowed.

What do you get when a chicken lays its eggs on the top of a hill?

Egg rolls.

Two windmills stood on a hill with a radio.

One turned to his friend and asked, What's your favourite music?

The other windmill said, I'm a big metal fan.

What do you call a pig that's falling down a hill?

A sausage roll.

A hearse is traveling up an icy hill when the back doors fly open.

The coffin drops on the street. It slides down the hill, and goes through a house. It keeps going through a school, then a church, then a grocery store, and then through a gas station. It busts through an arcade, and then through an office building. It breaks through the front door of a pharmacy and finally stops at the pharmacy counter, the lid opens, and the man inside sits up. He looks at the pharmacist and asks, "Do you have anything to stop this coffin?"

A Native American goes to court

and says: - "I want to change my name"

the clerk asks him: "What is your name?"

\-"The big round rock that rolled down the hill and fell into the creek"

\-"And what will your new name be?"

\-"Splash"

Hank Hill got a job working in a BDSM store.

He sells pro-pain and pro-pain accessories.

I knew I was going bald when...

I knew I was going bald when it started to take longer and longer to wash my face. - Harry Hill

What do you call a stoner who fell down a hill?

Tumble weed

How did the hillbilly find his cousin in the woods?

Pretty good.

What do you call a driver that brakes all the way down a hill?

Wasted potential

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hill harry hill jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hill blueberry hill piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes