The Best 74 Hilarious Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Hilarious jokes. There are some hilarious tbh jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hilarious punchline puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Hilarious Jokes and Puns

I was sorting out my loose change when I dropped a 1p coin and saw it roll into a drain, which everyone around me thought was hilarious.

Laughing at my ex-pence.

Try this on someone

say to them "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start"

most likely their response will be "Okay, knock knock"

you then say "Who's there?"

They will usually be terribly confused and a hilarious awkward silence ensues

"..A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news..'"

"This remind me of a hilarious joke. A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news.'
'What are the bad news?' asks the patient.
'You only have 24 hours to live.' replies the doctor.
'Oh my, that's terrible! What could possibly be worse than that?!'
'Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday...!'
Haha! Always knocks em out!"

- The Joker on The Batman cartoon.

Hilarious joke, "..A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news..'"

My Dad told me this one today

An Asian man goes to the eye doctor,
The doctor tells him "You have a cataract",
The man says "No, I drive a Rincoln."

My dad told this one to me today and just thought it was hilarious

A Child Didn't Attend School

Late afternoon, the grandma saw the teacher walking up their driveway. She asked her grandson, "Did you leave school early today?" He hung his head and admitted, "Yes Grandma." The grandma thought it was hilarious and assured him saying she would tell the teacher that she hadn't seen him all day. "Maybe you should go hide," she suggested. "Oh no, Grandma. *You* should hide, not me!" Surprised, she asked why. The grandson said, "I told the teacher you died!"


This is the worst joke I've ever told, and I think it's hilarious. Am I really alone?

A woman bursts into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor! I'm having a panic attack!"

The doctor looks at her and says, "Calm down."

Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes, but they don't have any matches or lighters. What do they do?

They throw one cigarette overboard and the entire boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

*Stolen from BuzzFeed, but I thought it was hilarious.*

Hilarious joke, Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes, but they don't have any matches or lighters. What do

I bought a girl a drink at the bar.

It hurt to see her give it to her boyfriend.

But it was hilarious to see him drink the roofie.

Have you ever heard of the ckicken plant?

I guess the eggplant came first!

I work at a grocery store and a guy in the produce department told me this. He thought it was hilarious

"There are three kinds of sex..."

"There's homosexual sex, for people who have sex at home, bisexual, for people who buy sex, and there's trisexualβ€”that's me, I'll try anything!"

Credit to Francis, the 80-year-old, flamboyantly hilarious artist I met on the train yesterday morning.

The description is hilarious!

The title is deeply misinformed.

You can explore hilarious meta reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hilarious comment dad jokes. There are also hilarious puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

Poke her face.

A joke from a 3 year old who thought it was hilarious, but probably didn't understand it.

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree! I may not be a girl, but I'm blonde and find blonde jokes hilarious. xD

Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia.

Can you spare just $2.00? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia. He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video - its hilarious.

I came up with a hilarious joke about fermat

But the margin was too small to contain it

LPT: If your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for Helium.

It will be hilarious when you scream.

Hilarious joke, LPT: If your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for Helium.

What do you call a funny hill?

Hilarious ...

My little sister told me this and I wasn't expecting it at all. :|

What do you call a sea Captain's hilarious fictional book about bellybuttons?

*A novel naval navel novel.*

Why do Pakistanis love football (soccer) so much?

... Because whenever they get a corner they open a 7/11.

PS: I'm Pakistani and I found this joke to be hilarious.


My friend told me this hilarious joke about Parkinson's last night

But I don't want to tell it because I'm a little shaky on the details.

I was about to tell a hilarious joke about chemistry..

..but last time I did, I couldn't handle the reactions.

My buddy told me this hilarious joke earlier about Albert Einstein getting a handjob...

What a stroke of genius!

You know what would be a hilarious prank?

Make people study for 18 years and dont give them a job.

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life"

But John came fifth, and won a toaster.



*Last post of this was 6 months ago from my quick search, reposting because it is hilarious.*

Nurse: "Oh jeez, was that you that fell 20 ft out of the tree?"

I don't know, I wasn't counting.

Not much of a joke but it was hilarious when my grandpa said it at the hospital (happened to him ofc).

My life is like a romantic comedy

Except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes.

> HA! Hilarious and original! Encore!

Can you spare just $2.00?

Can you spare just $2.00? Ranji is a 9 year old boy living in Namibia in Africa. He has only one leg, and is blind in one eye. Every day he goes seven miles along a narrow road on his rusty bike with no brakes to get to school. If you can send just $2.00 . . . We'll send you the video! It's hilarious!

After sex I always get out my phone and order my wife a dozen roses.

My girlfriend thinks I'm hilarious.

What kind of gum do bees chew?

BUMBLEGUM.

Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not.

Mommy mommy why do I keep running around in circles?

"Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."

In the 80s, my mother thought this was hilarious.

My friend told me everytime he goes to this sub he finds new hilarious jokes

I was surprised at first, but then I remembered he has a short-term memory.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt.

Then it's hilarious.

A fish went swimming.

And it drowned.

*My 4 year old daughter has just told me her first "joke". She finds it hilarious. "You get it? Fish cant drown. Thats funny!"
I'm worried..

A homless lady pushing a cart at 2 am told my friends and i this. "What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire"

See you the same time next month.

And then she cackled like a witch who'd been smoking for 40 years most of her teeth missing, it was horrifying and hilarious at the same time.

A single woman walks into a bar.

She goes straight up to the bartender and says, "I was told there would be a joke; that it would be hilarious; and that you would deliver the punchline."

The bartender looks up and says, "well aren't you miss informed."

I wanted to tell a depressing, sad joke that was hilarious

So I phoned up Trump and said "that was hilarious"

What do you do when you see a green alien?

Wait until they are ripe!

* I'm either really tired, or this is so stupid it's hilarious

I like my women like i like my tea.

Pale and weak.

Hilarious I know.

I heard that when a girl likes you she laughs at all your jokes, whether or not they are funny...

So I thought that all the girls loved me.

Turns out I'm just hilarious.

What kind of pasta should you NEVER put on your face?

Ziti!

(This might be a repost, but my mom just thought of it and I thought it was hilarious 😘)

Dave and Steve are out back at a party, smoking and talking

Dave turns to Steve and starts telling what he thought was a hilarious joke. After he's finished, Dave is confused, as Steve isn't laughing at all. Then he remembers it's an inside joke.

Last time I traveled abroad airport security made a hilarious joke about my passport

I mean I had to hand it to them

I was the best man at my own wedding

It was hilarious. I was beside myself.

A dad tells his son a joke...

And for once the joke is really funny. The son says, "Well dad, I can't believe you cracked a hilarious one."
So the dad replies,"Son, that will teach you to always expect the unexpecdad."

My friends and I have a lot of fun riding jet skis That time we had a fatal crash on the coast was especially hilarious.

We littorally died.

Hilarious cow jokes

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
- tri-tip

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
- lean beef

What do you call a cow with 1 leg?
- steak

What do you call a cow with no legs?
- ground beef

What do you call a cow who works out?
- shredded beef

What do you call a masturbating cow?
- beef stroganoff

Why does the milk stool only have three legs?
- because the cow has the udder

Somebody once told me that I could break a mirror just by looking at it.

They insisted it was hilarious. I didn't find it funny.

The mirror cracked up though.

Somewhere, someone on this earth needs a person just like you in their life, and they've always wished for you to show up

And other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself.

I was going to tell a hilarious joke about those automated teller machines

But I really can't think of one atm...

A man asks his wife why did she get married to him

"Because you're very funny."

"I thought it was because I'm good in bed."

"You see? You're hilarious!"

Wife asks the husband, who's the fool - you or me?

The husband calmly replies, while sipping his coffee, "honey, everyone knows you are way too smart to marry a fool"

Edit - I swear the joke was hilarious in the language I translated it from.

My five-year-old, everyone.

My insanely witty five-year-old, ladies and gentlemen:

 

Step-daughter: "I'm hungry."

Me: "Nice to meet you, hungry, I'm dad."

Her: "Ahhhhgh could you not say that anymore?"

Me: "Aw why not, sweets?"

Her: "Because I don't like it when you call me names like hungry or thirsty or anything!"

Me: "Alright, I'm not going to say that anymore."

Her: "Nice to meet you, not going to say that anymore."

 

I had just been out-dad-joked by my five-year-old. It was so unexpected, and was the first time I think I recognized how hilarious she was with her wit. I really miss her (because of a divorce, not a funeral).

Will you marry me?

I guess I don't really get it, but she seemed to find it hilarious.

Did you guys hear this joke about Trumps Mexican border wall?

It's hilarious. I'm still trying to get over it.

Did you hear the joke about the high wall?

It's hilarious, I'm still trying to get over it!

Remember when we thought 2016 was a terrible year?

That was hilarious, wasn't it.

Hilarious Joke

A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. My life is a mess, he says. My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I'm as jittery as a cat.

Why don't you go see a psychiatrist? suggests the collie.

I can't, says the poodle. I'm not allowed on the couch.

today i saw two blind guys fighting

i yelled he has a knife they both ran away so fast it was hilarious

Ten years ago today I married my best friend

My girlfriend didn't think it was funny, but Steve and I were drunk and thought it was hilarious at the time.

A joke by Mirza Ghalib (renowned Urdu / Persian poet) translated into English

Not sure if the humor is lost in translation but I found it hilarious. Anyway here goes:

I got drunk under the influence of love and told her that she's my Goddess;

I immediately sobered up when she told me that Goddesses are worshipped by many.

They call it Mormon but the last time I checked the men are always after more women.

My GF thought her joke was hilarious.

Did you hear about that bloody hilarious basketball team?

The Hemoglobetrotters?...

Queen Elizabeth and Indira Gandhi

My dad told me this joke when I was young, and I think it's HILARIOUS:

Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was once invited by Queen Elizabeth. Both of them were riding in the Queen's horse-driven carriage when one of the horses farted.

Petrified and embarrassed by the horse's toot, the Queen apologizes to Indira Gandhi, "I'm sorry," she said.

Indira Gandhi replied, "Oh that's okay. But I thought it was the horse!"

One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: "What it means to be British?".

Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.
Β 
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV. He buys a holiday home in Spain, Skis in France, fancies Swedish birds and has a Romanian au-pair.
Β 
And the most British thing of all?
"Suspicious of anything Foreign "

A Girlfriend's Love

Me: Remind me again what made you fall in love with me.

GF: Baby, I love that no matter how sad I am you can always make me laugh

Me: Are you certain it isn't how great I am in bed?

GF: See baby, you are so hilarious

My boyfriend said I have daddy issues

That's hilarious because I never even met the man!

As new parents my wife and I had to deal with the first poop in the bath.

My daughter thought it was hilarious. I thought it was hilarious. My wife thinks I'm too old to be pooping in the bath.

I asked my wife why she married me..

She said "Because you're really funny!"

I said "I thought it was because I was good in bed?"

She said "See? You're hilarious!"

I have a girlfriend..

And other hilarious jokes i can tell myself.

What did the orange say to the door?

Mind if I squeeze in?

Written by my 4 year old daughter and I think it is hilarious.

I just farted on my wallet

Now I have Gas Money!

*Told to me by my 9 year old daughter, who thought it's hilarious! (I agree lol)

I asked my wife, "why did you marry me?"

"Because you're funny.... you make me laugh!!" She replied

"Oh! I thought because I was really good in bed??"

"Hahaha!! See? Told ya... You're hilarious!!

Great grandma calling her shot

My great grandmother was notorious for kind of edgy but hilarious jokes.. she also lived to 103 and 50 weeks.

At her funeral her daughter told my brother and I about the last time she saw her. She said she was getting everything together to leave and had told her mother goodbye and that she'd be back in a few weeks to see her for her birthday. My great grandmother, said with a grin and a big laugh well, you better bring a shovel!

Yo mama so fat it's hilarious

I'm not laughing but the floor is cracking up

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hilarious repost jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hilarious comedy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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