Hilarious Jokes
139 hilarious jokes and hilarious hilarious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hilarious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This is the most hilarious jokes article you will ever read!
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Funniest Hilarious Short Jokes
Short hilarious jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hilarious humour may include short funny jokes also.
- I asked my wife why she married me. I asked my wife why she married me.
She said Because you are funny.
I said I thought it was because I was good in bed.
She said See? You're hilarious! - Cheer up Hilary! At least you won't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under.
- Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office. Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.
- You know what would be a hilarious prank? Make people study for 18 years and dont give them a job.
- LPT: If your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for helium. It will be hilarious when you scream.
- Our family surname is Daniels So rather hilariously we named our first child Jack.
She hates it. - My life is like a romantic comedy Except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes.
> HA! Hilarious and original! Encore! - What do you call a sea Captain's hilarious fictional book about bellybuttons? *A novel naval navel novel.*
- Hilary Clinton goes to a psychic. The soothsayer tells her, "Your husband will die a horrible violent death." Hilary asks, "Will I be acquitted?"
- I was sorting out my loose change when I dropped a 1p coin and saw it roll into a drain, which everyone around me thought was hilarious. Laughing at my ex-pence.
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Hilarious One Liners
Which hilarious one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hilarious? I can suggest the ones about humorous and hysterical.
- I donated $10 to Bernie's campaign Don't worry ladies, I also donated $7.80 to Hilary.
- Will you marry me? I guess I don't really get it, but she seemed to find it hilarious.
- The description is hilarious! The title is deeply misinformed.
- Does Hilary's scandal compare to Bill's? I'd say it's close, but no cigar.
- My boyfriend said I have daddy issues That's hilarious because I never even met the man!
- What kind of gum do bees chew? BUMBLEGUM.
Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not. - did anybody see that hilarious Amy schumer bit? me neither
- I have a girlfriend.. And other hilarious jokes i can tell myself.
- My mushroom just cracked a hilarious joke I have a feeling he is a Fungi
- Jokes about Jim Jones are hilarious But always have the worst punchlines.
- I was the best man at my own wedding It was hilarious. I was beside myself.
- Remember when we thought 2016 was a terrible year? That was hilarious, wasn't it.
- What did the Vietnamese guy text in response to the Cambodian man's hilarious joke? LMAOS
- I came up with a hilarious joke about fermat But the margin was too small to contain it
- It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious.
Kids Hilarious Jokes
Here is a list of funny kids hilarious jokes and even better kids hilarious puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- It's all fun and games until some kid dies Then it's hilarious
Bad Hilarious Jokes
Here is a list of funny bad hilarious jokes and even better bad hilarious puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A joke I heard at the Ren Fest once...still bad, and still hilarious. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead. - I haven't seen a lead blown this badly since Hilary's 2016 campaign.
- I have this joke in sign language which is super hilarious Too bad you can't see it
Long Hilarious Jokes
Here is a list of funny long hilarious jokes and even better long hilarious puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Coinkidink does not imply causalidink That's all I've got, but 2 long island iced teas me thinks that is deeply, utterly hilarious. Back me up..?
- Hilary Clinton has shown that any woman can become president As long as your husband did it first
Laughter Hilarious Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about hilarious you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean comedic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hilarious pranks.
America should build the wall...
...with Hilary's emails, because nobody seems to be able to get over them!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I was a kid I remember a joke that went something like this: if your uncle Jack was stuck on the roof would you help your uncle j**...?, I know not too funny! Well years later my then 8 year old son comes home from school and said he heard a joke, I said let's hear it. And he said,..,
If your uncle Jack was stuck on the roof would you help him down? And then said he didn't get it! I thought it was hilarious!
Old lady looking in the mirror says these aren't wrinkles they're laughter lines
husband mutters under his breath
must've been hilarious
Try this on someone
say to them "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start"
most likely their response will be "Okay, knock knock"
you then say "Who's there?"
They will usually be terribly confused and a hilarious awkward silence ensues
"..A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news..'"
"This remind me of a hilarious joke. A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news.'
'What are the bad news?' asks the patient.
'You only have 24 hours to live.' replies the doctor.
'Oh my, that's terrible! What could possibly be worse than that?!'
'Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday...!'
Haha! Always knocks em out!"
- The Joker on The Batman cartoon.
My Dad told me this one today
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor,
The doctor tells him "You have a cataract",
The man says "No, I drive a Rincoln."
My dad told this one to me today and just thought it was hilarious
A Child Didn't Attend School
Late afternoon, the grandma saw the teacher walking up their driveway. She asked her grandson, "Did you leave school early today?" He hung his head and admitted, "Yes Grandma." The grandma thought it was hilarious and assured him saying she would tell the teacher that she hadn't seen him all day. "Maybe you should go hide," she suggested. "Oh no, Grandma. *You* should hide, not me!" Surprised, she asked why. The grandson said, "I told the teacher you died!"
This is the worst joke I've ever told, and I think it's hilarious. Am I really alone?
A woman bursts into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor! I'm having a panic attack!"
The doctor looks at her and says, "Calm down."
I bought a girl a drink at the bar.
It hurt to see her give it to her boyfriend.
But it was hilarious to see him drink the roofie.
The Confucius saying:
Marriage like poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
Have you ever heard of the ckicken plant?
I guess the eggplant came first!
I work at a grocery store and a guy in the produce department told me this. He thought it was hilarious
My niece told me this one, she technically messed up the joke, but I thought it was a hilarious and unexpected take on the original
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Banana you glad I didn't say orange?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"There are three kinds of s**......"
"There's homosexual s**..., for people who have s**... at home, bisexual, for people who buy s**..., and there's t**...—that's me, I'll try anything!"
Hilary Clinton will make the best president
She will save us 25% in salary right from the start.
Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia.
Can you spare just $2.00? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia. He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video - its hilarious.
The biggest joke of 2015..
When you have Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton, and Deez Nuts running for President.
What do you call a funny hill?
Hilarious ...
My little sister told me this and I wasn't expecting it at all. :|
How do you make a horomone?
You don't pay her.
(My mom is sick. Hilarious. But sick. )
I recently saw The VVitch and it was a very eye opening experience
I had no idea Hilary Clinton had such a rough childhood.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump wants to make America great again, Hilary wants to make America whole again.
Together, they can make America a great hole.
What footwear does Hilary Clinton wear to the beach?
Flip flops or scandals!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the only thing that doesn't make Hilary s**...?
Bill
One good thing about Hilary as president.
One good thing about having Hilary as president is that we wouldn't have to pay her as much.
Those childhood days(real incident)
I am sharing my childhood event and this makes me laughs hilariously
Teacher (on phone): You say Edward has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.
My friend told me this hilarious joke about Parkinson's last night
But I don't want to tell it because I'm a little shaky on the details.
I was about to tell a hilarious joke about chemistry..
..but last time I did, I couldn't handle the reactions.
Why would Hilary Clinton as president be good for the economy?
We would only need to pay her 78 cents on the dollar.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm about as excited for hilary to be president
I'm about as excited for hilary to be president, as Bill is when he sees her n**....
Its hilariously ironic that the first gold medal won was by the U.S...
For Shooting
Hilarious reply to hilarious 'I love you' proposal
It was just a casual talk with one of my best friends,when I told her
"*I'm a negative person will you be my modulus function*"(read it somwhere)
And her reply was
"*I'm a square root so cant take any negatives otherwise this whole thing will become complex*"
I got mathametic-zoned
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does Trump say after s**...?
"You're the best daughter ever."
(Credit for inspiration to the "What does Bill say to Hilary after s**..." joke)
Nurse: "Oh jeez, was that you that fell 20 ft out of the tree?"
I don't know, I wasn't counting.
Not much of a joke but it was hilarious when my grandpa said it at the hospital (happened to him ofc).
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Can you spare just $2.00?
Can you spare just $2.00? Ranji is a 9 year old boy living in Namibia in Africa. He has only one leg, and is blind in one eye. Every day he goes seven miles along a narrow road on his rusty bike with no brakes to get to school. If you can send just $2.00 . . . We'll send you the video! It's hilarious!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After s**... I always get out my phone and order my wife a dozen roses.
My girlfriend thinks I'm hilarious.
I'm playing Monopoly with Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton...
Trump grabbed Community Chest as fast as he could, is building hotels on properties he doesn't really own and is refusing to pay income tax
Clinton started out with a house on Illinois Ave, somehow always has a "Get out of jail free" card and keeps saying she respects any opponent holding Vermont Ave
However, in the end, I have a feeling neither will be satisfied until they get a house on Pennsylvania Ave
My friend told me everytime he goes to this sub he finds new hilarious jokes
I was surprised at first, but then I remembered he has a short-term memory.
I challenge someone to say something including the word "Trump" or "Hilary" without sounding biased in any way.
Hang on... Did I just...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This really crashes my belief system.
Hilary Clinton spent 40 years building up her career to lose presidency to a man who picked up politics as a hobby last year.
Before leaving for the convention center on Election night, Hilary told Bill: "Tonight, for the first time in history, America will finally have two presidents sleeping with each other"...
When she got home, Bill was already eagerly waiting in bed, and he said:
"Is Trump on his way or should I drive to his place?"
You'll never believe what Hilary did in 2003
She starred in the Lizzie McGuire Movie.
How do you make sourdough bread not sour?
You use dill dough...
Terrible joke, but it was hilarious because my AP physics teacher told the class this joke years ago. He said "Want to hear a joke that doesn't make sense, but it's still funny?"
A fish went swimming.
And it drowned.
*My 4 year old daughter has just told me her first "joke". She finds it hilarious. "You get it? Fish cant drown. Thats funny!"
I'm worried..
What's a joke that was funny in early America, but is even more hilarious in the present day middle east?
"Women's rights"
*^ba-dum ^ching*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A homless lady pushing a cart at 2 am told my friends and i this. "What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire"
See you the same time next month.
And then she cackled like a witch who'd been smoking for 40 years most of her teeth missing, it was horrifying and hilarious at the same time.
A single woman walks into a bar.
She goes straight up to the bartender and says, "I was told there would be a joke; that it would be hilarious; and that you would deliver the punchline."
The bartender looks up and says, "well aren't you miss informed."
I wanted to tell a depressing, sad joke that was hilarious
So I phoned up Trump and said "that was hilarious"
At the urinals
Stood next to a guy with a bike helmet on at the urinals at the train station, thought it would be hilarious to say "nice helmet", never seen someone so shocked in my life.
Sharing a meal is hilarious.
You'll be splitting your sides.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you do when you see a green alien?
Wait until they are ripe!
* I'm either really tired, or this is so s**... it's hilarious
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my women like i like my tea.
Pale and weak.
Hilarious I know.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do supervisors wear ties?
To keep their f**... from rolling up over their heads.
This is apparently a really old joke. A 58 y/o coworker told me this one, thought it was hilarious!
What kind of pasta should you NEVER put on your face?
Ziti!
(This might be a repost, but my mom just thought of it and I thought it was hilarious 😘)
Jokes for six year old
Hey guys. Was hoping all you hilarious people at jokes could help a dad out.
I recently started working out of town for long stretches and I just want to be able to tell my six year old son some funny jokes for his age.
I've looked some up but after the 4th website I realized they are mostly unoriginal and not that funny. Anyways, you guys got anything to make the little man laugh when I call him?
Hilary Clinton and Seth Rich walk into a bar...
The bartender says "What'll you have?"
Hilary says "I'll have a glass of wine, and he'll have 2 shots in the back"
Dave and Steve are out back at a party, smoking and talking
Dave turns to Steve and starts telling what he thought was a hilarious joke. After he's finished, Dave is confused, as Steve isn't laughing at all. Then he remembers it's an inside joke.
Last time I traveled abroad airport security made a hilarious joke about my passport
I mean I had to hand it to them
I need your hilarious minds.
Help me come up with a funny thing to dress up as for a party that's themed be my date on this date . AKA, dress up as a day of the year or holiday. Fave idea so far is going as a box for boxing day.
what's the most hilarious thing a spoiled brat might say?
No I'm not
Why was the basketball court wet?
Because all the players kept dribbling on it.
(Not sure if repost, but I find it hilarious)
A dad tells his son a joke...
And for once the joke is really funny. The son says, "Well dad, I can't believe you cracked a hilarious one."
So the dad replies,"Son, that will teach you to always expect the unexpecdad."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friends and I have a lot of fun riding jet skis That time we had a fatal c**... on the coast was especially hilarious.
We littorally died.
Somebody once told me that I could break a mirror just by looking at it.
They insisted it was hilarious. I didn't find it funny.
The mirror cracked up though.
Somewhere, someone on this earth needs a person just like you in their life, and they've always wished for you to show up
And other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself.
What do you call a hilarious mushroom
A fungi
Almost got FIRED
I texted one of my ex-bosses once asking for a funny joke.
He texted back "I am very busy now."
I said "That's hilarious. Give me another one"
