Hike Jokes
57 hike jokes and hilarious hike puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hike that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Hike jokes? Yes, there is such a thing and you've come to the right place! Enjoy a selection of jokes about salary hikes, petrol price hikes, gas hikes, and "taking a hike" jokes! Read through the list to learn more about what to say when planning a wander in the desert or planning a day with your rods.
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Funniest Hike Short Jokes
Short hike jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hike humour may include short hiking jokes also.
- "What do you do in your free time? " "I stalk. " "Really? I go swimming and for long hikes"
"I know.". - Why does the admiral of the navy put a destroyer everywhere his girlfriend hikes? He warships the ground she walks on.
- Why did dad divorce mom after hiking Mt. Everest? Mom got frostbite, and had toes amputated.
Dad's lack-toes-intolerant. - I made a playlist for hiking... It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my Trail Mix.. - A man hiking in the Himalayas comes across a sadhu meditating. He says the sadhu, "there is a blizzard coming aren't you going to go back to town?" The sadhu responds Nah I'ma stay
- With the recent hike in GameStop stocks... You are able to return something from GameStop and get your money back for the first time.
- Went hiking and got a little poison ivy on myself. When I went to the pharmacy to pick up some medication I had to make a rash decision.
- Always carry some fiber cable with you when hiking If you get lost, just bury it in the ground. A backhoe will be along shortly to cut the cable, and you can ask for directions.
- My friend has the ability to hike the most complex of trails without getting lost. It's pathological.
- Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, Snake! Run! His companion laughs at him. Oh, relax. It's only a baby, he says. Don't you hear the rattle?
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Hike One Liners
Which hike one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hike? I can suggest the ones about hiking trail and climb.
- I was hiking yesterday when suddenly I ran into a cougar Almost made me puma pants
- Do you know what I call my hiking playlist? My trail mix
- How do fleas travel? They itch-hike
- What do you call a black man that's hitch hiking? Stranded.
- What is zombie's favorite hiking snack? Entrail mix
- Made a hiking playlist earlier called trail mix It has a lot of eminem in it
- When you go hiking with asthma You'll always find a breathtaking view
- What do you call a couple of Irish guys hiking in the woods? Trail micks.
- My compass broke on a hiking trip. It went south very quickly.
- What does Jesus eat while on a hike? Grail mix.
- What does Judas eat when he goes hiking? Betrayal Mix.
- So I was hiking up my favorite path the other day to watch the sunset...
- You know why i love hiking? It is all about the in tents action.
- Why can't the crippled guy hike across Endor? Because Ewoks funny
- Why didn't the tea bag like hiking? It was too steep...
Take A Hike Jokes
Here is a list of funny take a hike jokes and even better take a hike puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- On our hike yesterday, my partner wouldn't let me take home any volcanic rocks And to be honest, I'm still a little basalty over it.
- I was hiking in Alaska when I encountered a sleeping family of bears and just had to take a photo. It was a Kodiak moment.
Uproarious Hike Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about hike you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stroll jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hike pranks.
Three hikers are in the woods...
...and they come across a rock with some strange life form growing on it.
The first hiker exclaims: "Wow, look at this amazing f**...!"
The second hiker replies: "Nah, that looks more like moss to me."
Says the third: "Well, I know what I'd lichen it to."
What does a hiker love to listen to?
A trail mix!
take a hike.
a man is walking through the forest with a little girl when it starts getting dark. the wind starts whistling through the trees and the girl squeezes the mans hand and says "mister I'm getting scared!" the man replied "you're scared? I have to walk out of these woods alone!"
Mother superior is doing the orientation ...
of the new nun. The neighbourhood is rough and so she thought she would put some hypotheticals. "What would you do if you were walking alone at night and got cornered by a man on who demanded to have s**... with you?"
"Well, I would ask him to drop his pants." replied the new nun coolly
Flabbergasted the Mother pressed "And what then?"
"Well, then I would hike up my habit above my knees." replied the nun, still calm.
Aghast at this the Mother could not but ask "And what then?"
"Well, I would start running. I can run a lot faster with my habit hiked up than the man whose trousers are at his ankles."
Two Blondes are out on a hike....
....when one looks down and sees some tracks. "Hey look, deer tracks!" she exclaims. The other blond looks over and says, "Those aren't deer tracks! Those are rabbit tracks!" After about 10 minutes of bickering about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.
Three blondes are on a hike...
When they suddenly come across some tracks. The first blonde looks at the tracks and says "I've seen tracks like these before. These are fox tracks."
The second blonde looks at them and says "No, these are definitely deer tracks."
The third blonde looks at them and says "You two are both wrong. These are bear tracks.
Then they all get hit by a train.
A hiker stuck on a branch
A hiker slipped over the edge of a cliff, and would surely have fallen to his death except for a branch he managed to grab, just a few feet from the top. He clung there in t**... and yelled, "Help! Can anybody hear me?" A booming voice said, "I am God. Just let go of that branch and I'll catch you." There was a long silence until the hiker hollered, "Can anybody else hear me?"
The Vacuum Cleaner Salesman
A door to door vacuum salesman visits a house. When he proposes a deal the woman tells him to take a hike.
Without giving her a second chance the man empties a bucket of cow dung onto to carpet and says "If the vacuum cleaner doesn't s**... all of this up then I will eat the rest myself"
The woman goes to the kitchen and returns with a bowl of sugar and throws it over the cow dung and says:
"Start eating so long, we don't have electricity on the farm"
Tour guide in the mountain
A guide was leading a group of people on a hike through some mountains. He pointed at a fairly majestic looking peak and said "This one is most popular with mountain climbers. Most days you have a few teams doing a climb. The ascent, depending on your skill level can take between two and five hours. The descent, again depending on your skill level, takes anywhere between 4 hours and 30 seconds."
What did the hiker say when he fell in a pile of moss?
"I'm not lichen this!'
3 guys hike up a mountain...
Three blondes are out on a hike...
when they come across some tracks. The first one quickly says "Let's get out of here, those are mountain lion tracks." The second one says "Don't be silly, those are deer tracks." The third one says "I think you're both wrong, but I'm no expert" right before they all got hit by a train
A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike.
"How'd you get that, son?"
"By hiking."
"Hiking?"
"Yeah, every night, Mom's boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike."
My 5 year old daughter wants a t**... for Christmas
She has no idea what it is, but she knows what you can do with it.
Swim, ride, hike, dance, play tennis, ...
A hiker tried to write poems
but he didn't know what to do
he tried all kinds
but cleared his mind
when he went for a haiku.
Trump says he wants to impose a major tax hike on companies researching the human genome
He thinks congress will pass his Yuge Gene Levy
My girlfriend "Dad joked" me on a hike.
I asked my girlfriend what she thought trees would sound like if they talked while on a hike.
She said "I bet we couldn't understand them"
I said "why do you think that?"
She said "because they probably only bark"
She then laughed the next half mile down the trail barking occasionally and saying "shh, shh, do you hear that? Thats a tree talking in the distance"
What do you call a collection of songs to hike to?
Trail mix.
Why did the hikers laugh at the mountains?
Because they were hill areas
How did the hikers know they'd stumbled into a linguist's campsite?
They walked past tents.
Burger King: Have It Your Way!
Burger Dictatorship: Have it My Way!
Burger Communism: Have it Everyone's Way!
Burger Capitalism: Have it Your Way For a Steep Price Hike!
Burger Oligarchy: 1% Have it Their Way!
Burger Democracy: Have Something Your Way!
Burger Anarchy: Don't Have It!
Two friends were on a hike through the woods when they found a giant hole in the ground...
They couldn't see a bottom to the hole, so they dropped a rock down to listen for when it hit the bottom. They waited for 30 seconds but never heard the rock. They looked around for something heavier to drop down. After a few minutes of searching around, they found an anvil. They dragged the anvil and dropped it down the hole, when suddenly a goat flew out from the trees and went straight down the hole. The two friends were trying to figure out what had just happened when a farmer approached them and asked if they had seen his goat. When they told him what happened he said:
"That's impossible! It was chained to an anvil!"
A hike with my girlfriend
Once I was hiking in the woods with my girlfriend when suddenly a huge bear charged right at us. We must've gotten close to her cubs or something. Luckily, I had my 9mm p**... with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took to get away.
Every time I see a mole hill on a hike.
There was a man who died while going on a hike.
He saw a sign by the foot of a high cliffside and went to read it. It said "Watch out for falling boulders." He died of cancer.
TIFU by going on a hike with my soccer team
Obligatory this happened a three weeks ago...
If you feel suicidal, just open the curtains of your room and let the sun shine through, or even better, go out on a hike or sailing.
In either case, make sure you don't apply sunscreen.
What do zombies eat while on a hike?
Entrail Mix.
Why are hikers so physically attractive?
They have a lot of s**... uphill
I took pictures of plants during a nature hike
When I went to get them developed, I thanked the clerk for his Photosynthesis.
Three men are in the middle of a desert when their car breaks down. For their hike to town, they each decide to take one thing with them.
One man takes a jug of water. The second man takes a sandwich. The last man takes one of the car doors.
The first man says to the last man: "I'm bringing the water because if I get thirsty, I can take a drink. And it makes sense to bring a sandwich in case we get hungry, but why bring a car door?"
The last man replies, "If I get hot, I can just roll down the window."
Knock knock
Who's there?
Hike
Hike who?
No this is a knock knock joke
An American, a Frenchman and an Italian go hiking in the Alps...
An American, a Frenchman and an Italian go hiking together in the Alps.
On the hike the three keep trying to find similarities between them, but always end getting into arguments.
After a ways, the Frenchman and the Italian decide to take a quick break to take a leak. As they both leave the trail, the American calls after them Hey, I know something you both have in common!
Cos'è quello, what's that..?! Replies the Italian over his shoulder.
C'est Quoi? Replies the Frenchman from the other side of the trail.
The American shouts out European!
We went for a hike at the weekend , despite the blustery conditions , and despite taking 2 steps forward then 3 steps back we battled against the weather quite well.
Then it happened, from nowhere came down the sandwiches, sausage rolls, scotch eggs quiche and Vol-au-vent and then I realised we was being buffetted by the wind.
Three Blondes on a Hike
3 Blondes were walking on a hike just outside of their town when one of them stops abruptly and lets out a gasp! The other two quickly look.
Blonde one- look at those Bear tracks!
Blonde two- those aren't Bear tracks. Those are Moose tracks
Blonde three- those aren't Bear or Moose tracks...more like Wolf tracks
Before they can argue any further a Train hits them.