The Best 35 Hike Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Hike jokes. There are some hike trek jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hike torrential puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Hike Jokes and Puns

Three hikers are in the woods...

...and they come across a rock with some strange life form growing on it.

The first hiker exclaims: "Wow, look at this amazing fungus!"

The second hiker replies: "Nah, that looks more like moss to me."

Says the third: "Well, I know what I'd lichen it to."

What does a hiker love to listen to?

A trail mix!

take a hike.

a man is walking through the forest with a little girl when it starts getting dark. the wind starts whistling through the trees and the girl squeezes the mans hand and says "mister I'm getting scared!" the man replied "you're scared? I have to walk out of these woods alone!"

Hike joke, take a hike.

Mother superior is doing the orientation ...

of the new nun. The neighbourhood is rough and so she thought she would put some hypotheticals. "What would you do if you were walking alone at night and got cornered by a man on who demanded to have sex with you?"

"Well, I would ask him to drop his pants." replied the new nun coolly

Flabbergasted the Mother pressed "And what then?"

"Well, then I would hike up my habit above my knees." replied the nun, still calm.

Aghast at this the Mother could not but ask "And what then?"

"Well, I would start running. I can run a lot faster with my habit hiked up than the man whose trousers are at his ankles."

Two Blondes are out on a hike....

....when one looks down and sees some tracks. "Hey look, deer tracks!" she exclaims. The other blond looks over and says, "Those aren't deer tracks! Those are rabbit tracks!" After about 10 minutes of bickering about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Three blondes are on a hike...

When they suddenly come across some tracks. The first blonde looks at the tracks and says "I've seen tracks like these before. These are fox tracks."
The second blonde looks at them and says "No, these are definitely deer tracks."
The third blonde looks at them and says "You two are both wrong. These are bear tracks.
Then they all get hit by a train.

A hiker stuck on a branch

A hiker slipped over the edge of a cliff, and would surely have fallen to his death except for a branch he managed to grab, just a few feet from the top. He clung there in terror and yelled, "Help! Can anybody hear me?" A booming voice said, "I am God. Just let go of that branch and I'll catch you." There was a long silence until the hiker hollered, "Can anybody else hear me?"

Hike joke, A hiker stuck on a branch

Why can't the crippled guy hike across Endor?

Because Ewoks funny

The Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

A door to door vacuum salesman visits a house. When he proposes a deal the woman tells him to take a hike.

Without giving her a second chance the man empties a bucket of cow dung onto to carpet and says "If the vacuum cleaner doesn't suck all of this up then I will eat the rest myself"

The woman goes to the kitchen and returns with a bowl of sugar and throws it over the cow dung and says:
"Start eating so long, we don't have electricity on the farm"

Tour guide in the mountain

A guide was leading a group of people on a hike through some mountains. He pointed at a fairly majestic looking peak and said "This one is most popular with mountain climbers. Most days you have a few teams doing a climb. The ascent, depending on your skill level can take between two and five hours. The descent, again depending on your skill level, takes anywhere between 4 hours and 30 seconds."

What did the hiker say when he fell in a pile of moss?

"I'm not lichen this!'

You can explore hike desert reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hike trip dad jokes. There are also hike puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

3 guys hike up a mountain...

Three blondes are out on a hike...

when they come across some tracks. The first one quickly says "Let's get out of here, those are mountain lion tracks." The second one says "Don't be silly, those are deer tracks." The third one says "I think you're both wrong, but I'm no expert" right before they all got hit by a train

A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike.

"How'd you get that, son?"
"By hiking."
"Yeah, every night, Mom's boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike."

My 5 year old daughter wants a Tampon for Christmas

She has no idea what it is, but she knows what you can do with it.
Swim, ride, hike, dance, play tennis, ...

A hiker tried to write poems

but he didn't know what to do
he tried all kinds
but cleared his mind
when he went for a haiku.

Hike joke, A hiker tried to write poems

Trump says he wants to impose a major tax hike on companies researching the human genome

He thinks congress will pass his Yuge Gene Levy

My girlfriend "Dad joked" me on a hike.

I asked my girlfriend what she thought trees would sound like if they talked while on a hike.
She said "I bet we couldn't understand them"
I said "why do you think that?"
She said "because they probably only bark"
She then laughed the next half mile down the trail barking occasionally and saying "shh, shh, do you hear that? Thats a tree talking in the distance"

What do you call a collection of songs to hike to?

Trail mix.

Why did the hikers laugh at the mountains?

Because they were hill areas

How did the hikers know they'd stumbled into a linguist's campsite?

They walked past tents.

Burger King: Have It Your Way!

Burger Dictatorship: Have it My Way!

Burger Communism: Have it Everyone's Way!

Burger Capitalism: Have it Your Way For a Steep Price Hike!

Burger Oligarchy: 1% Have it Their Way!

Burger Democracy: Have Something Your Way!

Burger Anarchy: Don't Have It!

A hike with my girlfriend

Once I was hiking in the woods with my girlfriend when suddenly a huge bear charged right at us. We must've gotten close to her cubs or something. Luckily, I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took to get away.

Every time I see a mole hill on a hike.

There was a man who died while going on a hike.

He saw a sign by the foot of a high cliffside and went to read it. It said "Watch out for falling boulders." He died of cancer.

What does Jesus eat while on a hike?

Grail mix.

TIFU by going on a hike with my soccer team

Obligatory this happened a three weeks ago...

If you feel suicidal, just open the curtains of your room and let the sun shine through, or even better, go out on a hike or sailing.

In either case, make sure you don't apply sunscreen.

What do zombies eat while on a hike?

Entrail Mix.

Why are hikers so physically attractive?

They have a lot of sex uphill

I took pictures of plants during a nature hike

When I went to get them developed, I thanked the clerk for his Photosynthesis.

Knock knock

Who's there?
Hike who?
No this is a knock knock joke

We went for a hike at the weekend , despite the blustery conditions , and despite taking 2 steps forward then 3 steps back we battled against the weather quite well.

Then it happened, from nowhere came down the sandwiches, sausage rolls, scotch eggs quiche and Vol-au-vent and then I realised we was being buffetted by the wind.

My friend has the ability to hike the most complex of trails without getting lost.

It's pathological.

With the recent hike in GameStop stocks...

You are able to return something from GameStop and get your money back for the first time.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hike stumble jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hike hitch piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes