Highly Jokes
124 highly jokes and hilarious highly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about highly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Explore the world of highly intelligent jokes. Whether you're looking for something moderately funny or terribly intelligent, you'll find what you need here. Laugh and explore these highly intelligent smart jokes for any occasion!
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Funniest Highly Short Jokes
Short highly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The highly humour may include short extremely jokes also.
- I wrote the names of everyone I've unfriended onto a piece of paper; but my roommate took it and rolled it into a joint. Now he's high on my list of people I never want to see again.
- Did you hear about McDonald's trying to get into the high end steakhouse market? It was a Big Mcsteak
- Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion yesterday in less than 5 moves. Finally my high school karate classes came in useful.
- In high school some kids told me they'd give me $20 to hang out with them. Turns out it was just clique bait.
- Alabama changed the drinking age to 34 They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools
- TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
- Twenty years ago, my friend made a website where you compare getting high from different drugs. It was the original trip advisor.
- What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
- As an executioner, I often ask prisoners for their last requests. My last inmate asked me for a high five, but I just left him hanging
- I had my leg x-rayed today. The doctor told me "your patella measures 2.54 cm"
By surprise I said "Inch high knees?"
The doctor replied "披萨卷2.54披萨卷"
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Highly One Liners
Which highly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with highly? I can suggest the ones about exceptionally and deeply.
- What sort of grades did Tommy Wiseau receive in school? Oh, high marks.
- Why didn't the japanese guy get a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
- It turns out my high school chemistry teacher was right.... Alcohol IS a solution.
- Gas prices are so high... That even the coronavirus stopped traveling..
- My friend used my todo list to roll a blunt He's high on my list of priorities
- I told my wife she was applying her eyebrows too high She looked surprised.
- What would you call the Fantastic Four if snoop dogg joined the team? The High Five
- I told my friend she drew her eyebrows on too high... She seemed surprised.
- We had a band in High School called 1023 Megabytes. We never made it to a gig.
- What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition.
- My dad gets high all the time He's a pilot.
- Cop asks a guy..how high are you? Guy: no officer, it's hi, how are you.
- What's a pirate's favorite musical note? The High Cs
- 2020 Olympic high jump results Gold - Mexico
silver - Mexico
Bronze - Mexico - "Sweetheart, I'm pregnant.", "High pregnant, I'm dad!" "Actually, you're not."
Highly Skilled Jokes
Here is a list of funny highly skilled jokes and even better highly skilled puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Just finished building doors for my fish. I'm highly skilled in the field of carp-entry.
- What's the difference between Pastor Maldonado and a bus driver? One is a highly skilled professional driver, and the other is in Formula 1.
- I just joined the mile-high club. Very few people are that skilled on a trampoline.
Highly Intelligent Jokes
Here is a list of funny highly intelligent jokes and even better highly intelligent puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a highly intelligent person in Washington DC who wants to help Donald Trump? A psychiatrist.
- The number of sentient lifeforms in the universe is at least 7.5 billion. The amount of intelligent life, however, is highly disputed, and some people argue that none have been found.
- Did you hear about the guy who was arrogant about his high intelligence? His brains went to his head.
- What do you call a bird of prey with high intelligence? A falcon genius.
Highly Concentrated Jokes
Here is a list of funny highly concentrated jokes and even better highly concentrated puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Man spills highly valuable can of concentrated oxygen "It was an oxidant!", he was heard to say later.
- In germany there's a high concentration of... Camps
Highly Detailed Jokes
Here is a list of funny highly detailed jokes and even better highly detailed puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Presidents security detail recently underwent months of grueling training. They no longer go to high alert when he reaches for his wallet.
Delightful Fun Highly Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about highly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean significantly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make highly pranks.
What do you call an Optomitrist who is very highly thought of in his community?
Respectacle
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Need a good PG rated joke for a class...anybody have one?
I've been scouring the posts on here but a lot of them are highly s**.../not appropriate.
Have to give a joke for my Toastmasters class. Ideas?
My friend takes helium recreationally.
He speaks very highly about it.
I just finished reading a scholarly book that exploring the African American experience in samurai culture I highly recommend it.
It's called, "Ninja, Please"
There was a Jewish businessman
There was a Jewish businessman who was almost late at an important business meeting where punctuality was highly priced. But there were no empty parking spots around and the time was running. He looked to the sky and prayed: "Dear God, give me a parking spot now and I will donate 100 thousand to the synagogue!" Suddenly, a car left exactly in front of him. Relieved, the guy looked again at the sky and said: "It's okay, forget it, I got one."
My friend compared me to a singular cloud in an otherwise blue summer sky
No one wants me around.
Which admittedly is pretty great...I had no idea he thought so highly of me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Should I notify the authorities about these m**... leaves I found on the ground?
Yeah, I *highly* recommend it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just tried an inverted yoga pose that my friend told me about...
it was highly r**...-ended
I think I'm going to start taking helium
People are speaking very highly of it.
What do you get with legalized prostitution and a highly competitive marketplace?
The best bang for your buck.
In our fridge there is condensed milk, evaporated milk, vanilla and eggs.
So I put a sticker on it saying, "Warning: Highly Flannable."
My favorite element is Helium
I can't speak highly enough of it
Prince's housekeeper of 30 years was offered a job as a crime scene investigator.
She was considered highly qualified due to her decades of experience dusting for Prince.
I always get told off when introducing my wife...
Apparently, the label 'ex-girlfriend' is highly inappropriate.
"I'm sorry sir, but we've determined you have a highly contagious, deadly virus. You'll need to be kept in quarantine and fed a diet of pancakes."
"Oh my, that's horrible news, doctor. But will the pancakes really be able to help me get better?"
"No, that's just the only thing we can slide under the door."
Scotland highly likely to have another independence referendum
"If at first you don't secede, try again."
I think I was meant to be an American,
because every one I've met is funny, smart, kind, and thinks too highly of themselves
You know those really annoying jokes that drag on for what seems like forever, with the person telling it going into far more detail than is ever necessary, you try to be polite and listen while loosing your patience - but then after a while you actually begin to highly anticipate the punchline?
They're punfull.
A fox managed to dig into a highly populated rabbit den.
It was a warren buffet.
I went to Home Depot and bought that new Lawn Mower they were advertising in front of the store
I think his name is Jorge and I highly recommend him
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Research shows that smoking p**... does not make you paranoid.
But I highly doubt it.
I don't get it, why do black people always call each other that?
I highly doubt that ALL of their names are Monica...
It seems highly unlikely that the Romans would have built a new cross for every execution, which means...
Jesus was a repost.
"Mr. Economist, what are your thoughts on the mullet?"
"It's one turbulent hairstyle. It's highly regulated in the front and free market in the back."
I once worked in a helium factory
It wasn't a very nice job, because of the leaks, but the owner was very sympathetic and we all spoke highly of her.
I highly respect microscopes
they teach us to enjoy the little things in life.
I think our solar system is highly underrated ...
... Seriously, just one star? Duh.
What's the difference between a ginger and a ninja?
One's a soulless killing machine. The other is a highly trained martial artist.
Arkansas ranks highly among other states in terms of depression and adultery
It's a sad state of affairs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the difference between you and a highly addictive opioid?
Your mom didn't s**... you
I think our sun is highly overrated
At least the moon gives off a bit of light at night, the sun only shines in the day when it's already light.
A recent study found that cats are highly entertained by theoretical physics!
*Especially* string theory.
What do you call a highly damaged liver?
A die-er.
The inventor of the butcher knife probably thought very highly of himself
To be fair, it was a very cleaver idea
A Man Walks Into A Bar.
Ten years of hard work and savvy networking later, he runs a highly successful law firm.
What do you call Dwayne Johnson's highly excited granite flying monster?
The Rock's rockin' rock roc.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
I have been experimenting with drugs for many years, and my colleagues and I agree.
The results are highly inconclusive, and further research is necessary
My girlfriend complains that I think too highly of myself...
but I think she is amazing as well.
In fact, when she stands next to me, she is near perfect.
What's orange, thick skinned, highly acidic and a total fruit?
An orange.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Japanese couple is arguing about how to perform highly e**... s**....
Husband: "Sukitaki. Mojitaka!"
Wife replies: "Kowanini! Mowi janakpa!" Husband says angrily: "Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!"
Wife on her knees literally begging: "Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji!"
Husband shouts angrily: "Na miaou kina Tim kouji!"
I can't believe you just sat there trying to read this. I don't know Japanese. People read anything as long as it's about s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Anything recommended by a s**...
Comes highly recommended.
My new helium gas supplier's are fantastic!
I can't speak highly enough of them!
A blonde joins a book club.
She goes along to the first meeting and it's her turn to share what she's been reading this week.
"Well, it took me a while to finish, but this was a brilliant read and I highly recommend it". She pulls out a bookmark and shows it to the group.
One of the members says, "Um... That's not a book"
"What are you talking about? Mark at the library gave me this when I asked him for a book!"
Fight Club was awesome!
Hey guys so I found this Fight Club last night and had a blast! I showed up a little late so I missed some of the rules but I highly recommend it!
As emperor of Ethiopia, how would you rate yourself?
A. Not at all Selassie
B. Somewhat Selassie
C. Moderately Selassie
D. Highly Selassie
I was going to buy a new Volkswagen but my Grandpa got angry at me because of what happened to him during WW2. Apparently, during WW2 my Grandpa
had a succession of highly unreliable German cars.
What do you call good quality yoghurt?
Highly cultured milk......
Imagine what the first person who inhaled helium thought...
They must have spoke very highly about it.
A stressed Referee goes to a psychologist
He breaks down in front of the doctor, complaining about feeling depressed, and loathed, always disappointing somebody no matter what he does. The doctor is highly sympathetic, and offers comfort - "It must be so hard, I'm glad you came to me. I can help" The doctor starts writing something on a piece of paper and says "Go to this address, and tell the optometrist I sent you".
Arsenal are playing Vorskla in the UEFA cup tonight.
They aren't that highly rated and no one really knows much about them, but apparently they're a small club from North London. 😁
I had my first taste of sobriety this week
It's an odd name for a beer, but it tastes really good. Highly recommend.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does a highly decorated s**... retire his old trusty s**... rifle?
With an honorable discharge.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Apparently many people get all of their artistic inspiration from p**....
I wouldn't follow in their footsteps. They seem highly sketchy.
I, for one, found No Nut November to be quite a breeze
But then again, I am highly allergic
When is the only time you don't see to many women in the kitchen
When the chiefs are highly paid professionals
In Feudal Japan, there was a system that determined who sat in the highly favored front position of carts.
You had to call Shogun.
The signs always say, Break glass in case of emergency, but when I had an emergency and broke the glass, my neighbor yelled at me.
Apparently, it was highly inappropriate to throw my drink to the floor, and I could've just asked where the bathroom is.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a s**... who takes Adderall?
Highly Productive
[OC] In Japan, Hello Kitty is a highly respected character
That's why they call it "Herro Kitty"
I'm highly skeptical over the existence of "alcohol-free beer"...
There's literally zero proof.
Did you know there's a way to go 7 days without sleeping and not feel tired?
Sleep at night.
It's a great trick I highly recommend it.
Yo mamma is so......
Nice, I highly value the talks we've had.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman tells her doctor, "Kiss me!"
The doctor says, "What? Why would I do something like that?"
The woman says again, "Kiss me now!"
The doctor replies, "Certainly not!"
The woman demands a third time, "Doctor, I want you to kiss me!"
The doctor answers, "No! It's unprofessional, highly unethical, and to be honest we probably shouldn't even be having s**... right now!"
one of the best documentarys
ive ever watched on netflix is about a chinese couple who didnt board the Malaysian flight 370 (one that disappeared) when they should have done. All sorts of conspiracy theories. worth a watch, highly recommended.
It's called 2 wongs dont make a flight
What weighs 6 ounces, sits on a tree, and highly dangerous
A sparrow with a machine gun
The current state of affairs...
Legal, but highly immoral.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a highly collectible wristwatch from the Third r**......
It's a Swatch-ticker
Three cars are in a drag race at night on a highly lit up track.
When the race starts two of the cars take off at full speed towards the finish a quarter mile away.
The third simply turns on his headlights and declares himself the winner.
He says as he takes the trophy, Nothing beats the speed of light.
What do you call a highly cited epidemiology researcher with a social media presence?
An influenzer.
Did you know that most drug dealers are exceptionally good at their job?
They are highly qualified.
My French friends can get me to do anything. I'm highly susceptible to Pierre pressure.
I don't know what a "tua" is but, I think I could manage one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was in Mexico last weekend enjoying what the entertainment has to offer....
...ended up going to this magic show that was highly recommended. The Magician came on stage and started the show with a disappearing act. He said "Pay close attention as I will vanish into thin air on the count of three"
He started counting... "uno....dos..."
And sure as s**... he disappeared without a Tres.
I wrote a reference letter while high on cannabis
I highly recommended him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Remember that every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person
Stay lazy, my friends
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.
The first says, "My son is so successful, he's VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. "
The second says, " That's nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house."
The third says, "Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet."
They look expectantly at the last guy who says, "My son is a gay e**... who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients."
Why are there no highly credited esteemed flat-earthers?
Because flattery will get you nowhere.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trading humans like mere goods is highly i**... and immoral.
Unless you are a football team manager.
