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Highlands Jokes

6 highlands jokes and hilarious highlands puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about highlands that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Charming Humor Highlands Jokes with Loads of Fun

What is a good highlands joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

What's the difference between m**... Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

m**... Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud . . ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

Tour guide

A tour bus is going through the Highlands when the guide spots a sheep with its head stuck in the fence. He stops the bus and gets out, saying "watch this" and then bangs the sheep.
When he's finished, he zips up and asks "does anyone else want to have a turn?"
Another guy from the tour says "sure, I will" and sticks his head in the fence.

Proper English

An Englishman is out walking in the Highlands and gets thirsty, so he stops at a river to get some water. He's about to bring the water up to his mouth with his hand when he gets interrupted by a shepherd nearby.
"Dinnae drink oot the river, it's foo o' sheep pish!"
The Englishman looks confused and replies, "I'm sorry, my good man, I didn't understand a word of that! I'm English and on a walking holiday!"
The shepherd smirks and says, "I said use both hands; you'll get more water that way!"

I have a toyota Highlander. My wife said she wanted one too.

I told her no. In the end, there can be only one.

What do you call a Scot man that smokes m**...?

A Highlander

What do the Mexican highlander say when he won a duel?

THERE CAN BE ONLY JUAN!

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