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Highest Jokes

140 highest jokes and hilarious highest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about highest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

From one liners to stand-up comedy, here you'll find the highest rated and most supreme jokes around! Discover the largest collection of hilarious humor with these highest jokes!

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Funniest Highest Short Jokes

Short highest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The highest humour may include short lowest jokes also.

  1. Why does Michael J. fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the highest-quality ingredients.
  2. Did you know Nebraska has the highest level of depression and extra-marital activity? It's a sad state of affairs.
    Cr
  3. When my employer asked if I had a criminal record... ...I guess "highest number of robberies in an hour" wasn't the answer he was looking for.
  4. Just found out that Norway has the highest cost of living in Europe... There's Norway I could A-Fjord to live there.
  5. TIL people who are color blind have the highest rates of divorce. They can't see the red flags.
  6. The asteroid event that ended dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone
  7. Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the spring equinox party? To reach the highest branches of the conversation!
  8. Three kittens are on a sloping roof... Which one slide down the slowest?
    The one with the highest μ
  9. TIL the Earth produces global electromagnetic resonance with the highest peak frequency of 33.8Hz, slightly lower than a C#1 note with a frequency of 34.65Hz. I guess you can say the earth is flat.
  10. Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the spring equinox celebration? To reach for the highest blooms!

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Highest One Liners

Which highest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with highest? I can suggest the ones about higher and maximum.

  1. Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? How I bought your mother
  2. What's the highest story of any building? Floor 20
  3. What does the highest paid wnba player make? Sandwiches.
  4. What is the highest religious authority among oranges called? The Pulp.
  5. Plateaus are... ...the highest form of geographical flattery.
  6. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
  7. I have heard that self deprecation is the highest form of comedy Too bad I'm not funny.
  8. Why is Texas called the Lone Star State? Because that's the highest rating it could get
  9. Did you know Auschwitz has the highest hotel rating? 1.1 million stars
  10. Where's the highest density of Jews in the world right now? In the stratosphere.
  11. My highest test grade I'll always be proud of is my blood test... A+
  12. What's the highest form of flattery? A plateau!
    Ba dum tss
  13. Courtesy of my 8yo son What's the highest rating that cheese can get?
    Grate.
  14. What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills? The Romans.
  15. What is the highest tavern in Estonia? Tall Inn

Highest Rated Jokes

Here is a list of funny highest rated jokes and even better highest rated puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Apparently, Nevada has the highest rate of depression and disloyal partners. What a sad state of affairs.
  • A recent study found that California has the highest rate of Depression and Infidelity in America. It's a sad state of affairs.
  • Rick and morty recently surpassed Big Bang Theory as the highest rated comedy on television... In other news, apparently Big Bang Theory is supposed to be funny.
  • After reading that Afghanistan had the highest infant mortality rate, this occurred to me. What do you call Afghan triplets?
    Twins!
    I am so sorry....
  • What part of Italy has the highest crime rate, The spaghetto
  • Did you know that Germany has one of the highest renewable energy use ratings in the world? They most certainly use less gas now.
  • I always thought District of Columbia was a weird name Until I realized it probably has the highest rates of coffee and caffeine usage anywhere in the US
  • What's the highest rated hotel in the world? Aushwitz, 6 million stars.
  • You know you are worthless when even death rejects you People who survive fatal accidents are rejected even by the University of Death which has the highest acceptance rate of all Universities.
  • Why did James K. Polk have the highest insurance rate of any US President after being adjusted for inflation? Because no one could ever see him coming.

Highest Peak Jokes

Here is a list of funny highest peak jokes and even better highest peak puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Gesundheit What are you called when you reach the highest power level sneeze ever?
    You're a Peak-Achoo.

    I'll see myself out...
  • Mt. Everest has lost its record status ... ... now that a British astronaut is Earth's highest Peake.
  • An angry man is coming home and shouts to his wife, "I know everything!"
    His wife reacts right away, "Is that so? Then tell me please. Who is the fifth highest peak in the world?"
Highest joke

Highest joke

Delightful Fun Highest Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about highest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nearest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make highest pranks.

Karen has received the highest honor that a person could get.

By being the face of the 2024 Paris Olympics.

Why shouldn't you smoke w**... during a thunder storm?

Because lightning strikes the highest object.

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist...

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She asked if there was something which she could help the gentleman with.
The man said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.
The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent e**.... It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company car, and $3000 a month living expenses.

Jenga Towers

At Highschool we have a test every week and my teacher lets the person with the highest score bring in their favourite board game. For years, my favourite game has been Jenga, the falling towers game.
So on friday the 8th in the first week of September I finally get the highest score and the teacher tells me I can bring in a board game on monday.
mfw I walk into class on 9/11 with Jenga and I'm a muslim...

During the communist rule

in the USSR a big assembly was held and members of the communist party were giving speeches to the general public. The highest ranking official was making his speech and he proclaimed "soon we will live even better!". This was followed by a voice from the audience "and what about us?!"

Did you hear about the guy that made the highest grades in his graduating class?

He was on a roll!

Where is the highest concentration of jews?

In the stratosphere

Thor

Thor goes out for a ride on his mighty war horse.
He rides all morning and afternoon until as the sun sets he is sat on the top of the highest mountain overlooking his entire domain.
He stands up on the horse and shouts "I AM THOR" and as his voice echoes through the valleys his horse replies:
"That's because you forgot your thaddle thilly"

The highest paid female CEO in America is transgender...

...proving that men still make more money, even after they become women.

Why is Flint MI famous for it's sandwiches?

They have the highest Pb : jelly ratio in the midwest!

The mighty god rode his valiand steed atop the highest mountain..

... raised his hammer high, and declared ''I am Thor!''. To which his horse replied: ''Because you forgot your thaddle, thilly.''

A farmer decided to sell all of his chickens to the highest bidder...

It was poultry in auction

What's the highest you can fall from without dying?

Is not a question you want to hear right before your friend picks you up in a helicopter.

What planet would have the highest Indian population?

Mer-cury

What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military?

A Sweeping Generalization.

Two blondes are running for the highest office in the land

Oh right, don't put the joke in the title. Sorry.

A man notices a TV for sale.

"Hey, how much is this TV?"
The salesman replies "1 dollar."
"Only a dollar? Why so cheap?"
The salesman tells him "the sound is stuck on the highest volume."
"So it's always on the highest volume? And it's only one dollar?"
"Yup."
"Wow, can't turn that down."

Which state has the highest s**... rate ?

The Islamic State.

w**... is the answer...

.. when your parents tells you to be the highest among the rest of the students in your class.

Hero of the Soviet Union

[[ Here's a joke from Soviet Russia. "Hero of the Soviet Union" was the highest distinction awarded. ]]
A fisherman catches a wish-granting goldfish. The goldfish tells him to wish for anything.
"I want to be a Hero of the Soviet Union", he says.
A moment later, the fisherman finds himself in Kursk. There are 5 Panzers approaching, and he has three grenades.

Black kids play NBA 2K...

and then go to the basketball court to be like their favorite player.
White kids play Call of Duty, then go to school to get the highest kill streak possible.

Rumor has it there's a basketball court on the roof of the Supreme Court building.

It's the highest court in the land.

Get s**... Before an Auction

Even if you don't win anything, you'll still be the highest bidder!

What's the highest number there is?

420

What's the highest paying profession in the world?

Circumcision. You don't get paid much hourly. But you get a lot of tips!

Did you know that Alabama has the highest average GPA in the USA?

It's got 4 A's and a B.

Titantic is the 2nd highest grossing movie in Japan.

Guess since they couldn't sink Pearl Harbor, they went for the next best thing.

I know that writing is the highest art form . . .

I've seen it written.

Which state has the highest percentage of self-identifiying w**...?

Idaho

What's the highest paying job in ethiopia?

The machine gunner in the back of the bread truck

I always make sure I get s**... before I go to an auction.

That way even if I don't win anything, I'm always the highest bidder.

I snorted coke and m**..., smoked four blunts, and injected h**... today...

...and this guy at the auction house is STILL saying im not the highest bidder.

Highest level of confidence: walking around n**... alone in my apartment.

Lowest level of confidence: being caught walking around n**... in my apartment.

What is the highest grade a Canadian can get?

Eh

What is the highest honour for a geologist

To become a knight of the tectonic order.

What do you call a chevalier from Amsterdam?

A knight of the highest order.

What if a group of knights became Rastafarian?

They would be knights of the highest order!

An East Indian fellow has moved in next door. He has travelled the world, has swam with sharks, has wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was...

Bindair Dundat

I always save my eBay shopping for after I come back from 4/20

That way I'm always the highest bidder

Plagiarism is the highest form of art, just as theft is the highest form of commerce.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how confused are you?

"On a scale from 1 to 10, how confused are you?"

"17"

"10 is already the highest".

"The highest of what?"

"The scale"


"Which scale?"

"How confused you are!"

"Oh right, 17."

Yellow cars have the highest c**... rate

According to a recent pole

What do you call an apple tablet with the highest specs available in the market?

A MaxiPad

Bank heists are the lowest among the countries with the highest inflation.

Thieves don't have enough capacity in the vehicles to load enough cash.

A survey showed that England had the highest Star Wars fan base in the world...

I guess the fourth is really with them.

I was pulled over and the officer told me he was going to test the drugs he found in my car

I told him thank you, if it's not of the highest quality I don't want it

What's the highest award a Priest can get?

A Nobel Priest Prize..

Why do australian prisons have the highest percentage of homosexuals ?

They're all inmates.

Anyone heard of the fugawee native american tribe?

Famous for being terrible navigators, would climb the highest mountains where ever they would travel, look around and yell "where the fugawee!!"

My friend only feeds the highest quality drugs to their animals.

I told them to get off their high horse.

What's the world's highest building?

The Wiz Khalifa.

Which country has the highest number of parks?

...
North Korea and South Korea.

What would you call it if the US federally legalized m**..., and used the tax revenue to fund the border wall to Mexico?

Bi-partisanship at the highest level

What's the highest form of flattery?

A plateau

What is the highest thing h**... achieved in WW2

His gas bill

According to statistics, the highest s**... rate is found near piers.

I think it's because of pier pressure.

Scientists identified intelligent DNA in a blonde.

The highest concentration was found in the stomach.

I heard the professional boxers are among the highest paid people in the world

Apparently my bosses at Amazon didn't get the memo

What is the highest potion in government?

Ombudsman

Highest joke, What is the highest potion in government?

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