High Score Jokes
33 high score jokes and hilarious high score puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about high score that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest High Score Short Jokes
Short high score jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The high score humour may include short perfect score jokes also.
- I enjoy rating countries on a 0-10 scale I give Nepal a solid 7.8. The score is so high, it's ground breaking
- I just got my first A+! I am so excited! I never thought I would score so high on a blood test!
- What's the difference between your pacman high score and your child? I haven't beaten your high score.
- This DLC is getting out of hand... The DVLA want me to pay £60 to add three points to my driving license, because I beat my high score!
- Why are people so surprised feminists have such high SAT scores? We're known for protesting.
- I started a new diet 6 weeks ago and I managed to GAIN thirty pounds! It's my fault, though. I thought counting calories meant your supposed to go for the high score.
- I don't know anything about golf... ...but I just watched it on TV for a couple minutes. It looks really easy. I'm sure I could get a very high score.
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High Score One Liners
Which high score one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with high score? I can suggest the ones about high ranking and good grades.
- There is only one sport in which I can get a high score. It's golf.
- What score did Snoop Dogg get on his test? So high he barely passed
- Who has the all time pinball high score? Helen Keller.
- My IQ is so high... ...I had to take the test twice to add the scores together.
- What do you call a movie soundtrack that was made on drugs? A high score.
- People with a high IQ score... ...are good at taking IQ tests.
- Why do you smoke w**... before an exam? Scoring high!
- How to score High? Ask your grade to smoke w**....
High Score Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about high score you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean score jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make high score pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I did an exam on m**... and ballistic weaponry.
Scored high on the first part, but bombed the second.
Jets Fan
A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms.
The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"
The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"
After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.
The game begins with the Jets receiving a kickoff. They march down field stop at the 30,and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.
The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"
"I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Every time I have s**... with my German girlfriend she rates it.
Today I set a new high score which was 9 (NOT OC)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a nerd and a s**...?
One gets high scores, while the other gets high on scores.
So i have this over the top gay friend..
He gets really screechy and table slappy when we watch hockey.
Slapping the table top and screeching in a high pitched feminine voice when his team scores a goal.
I wonder what in his past made him this way?
Was it caused by trauma?
Did he not get enough attention from his father?
Was he molested by his uncle?
Seriously people aren't just born Maple Leaf fans!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four Original Math/Science Jokes
1. Yo momma's so mean her Z-score is zero!
2. What do you do with a high concentration bomb?
You diffuse it.
3. Why was X mad at the IRS?
He couldn't list Y as his dependent
4. Why did the students do well on the hard calc test?
Because the grade was on a curve
An OBGYN got tired of her career and decided to train to become a mechanic.
Her final exam was taking apart a car engine and putting it back together. When she finished, the instructor announced that she scored a 150 on the exam even though it was only out of 100. When she asked how she scored so high, the instructor explained that she got the full 100 points for her work on the engine, but he decided to throw in an additional 50 bonus points since she did the entire procedure through the muffler.
Baseball & Football -George Carlin
Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.
Also: in football,basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.
In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders uniform,you'd know the reason for this custom.
Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.
I enjoy comparing baseball and football:
Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park.The baseball park!
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.
Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?
In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.
In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.
Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.
Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.
Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.
Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.
In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.
And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:
In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
Old joke, still funny
A genius senior in high school takes a chemistry test. He gets his score back and is shocked he missed exactly one question and thus would not be accepted to his university of choice. He is especially bummed because the question he missed was How many valence electrons does a Hydrogen atom have? In his haste to complete the test, he had answered 2.
Depressed and despairing, he takes a walk alone along a beach and is lost in thought when he trips on a metal object in the sand. Picking it up, he finds it to be a bronze oil lamp, and as his fingers brush the surface of the lamp, a genie suddenly appears. The genie thunders, I can grant you any one wish, but you must answer now. What do you desire? The student eyes light up and immediately replies, I wish I had gotten that question right, and the universe explodes.
A genius high school chemistry student takes a test
A genius high school chemistry student takes a test, gets his score back and is dismayed to find that he missed exactly one question and thus would not be accepted to his university of choice. He is especially bummed because the question he missed was How many valence electrons does a Hydrogen atom have? In his haste to complete the test, he had answered 2.
Depressed and despairing, he takes a walk alone along a beach and is lost in thought when he trips on a metal object in the sand. Picking it up, he finds it to be a brass oil lamp, and as his fingers brush the surface a genie suddenly appears. The genie thunders, I can grant you any one wish, but you must answer now. What do you desire? The student immediately replies, I wish I had gotten that question right, and the universe explodes.