High School Teacher Jokes
80 high school teacher jokes and hilarious high school teacher puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about high school teacher that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest High School Teacher Short Jokes
Short high school teacher jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The high school teacher humour may include short school teacher jokes also.
- When I was in high school, my dad f*cked my teacher repeatedly for better grades in my math class. Thank god im homeschooled or that could have been wierd
- Shoutout to my teachers from high school who said I would work at McDonalds I have my first shift on Monday.
- In high school, I presented a project on communism I thought I would get terrible marx for stalin but the teacher was pretty leninent.
- The other day a girl asked me if I like b**... or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed p**... with thin lips... So I got kicked out of KFC.
- I got a C- for my high school sewing project. The teacher's only comment was.... Seams reasonable.
- High school laffs In high school once our history teacher asked who bombed pearl harbor, a Japanese kid raised his hand and the teacher said; correct!
- Did you know that all high school math teachers are lonely? You can tell by them always asking you to find the X
- ELI5 What happens when a high school calls in a replacement teacher for a subject they know nothing about? Ooops... wrong sub.
- What happens when a university math professor and a high school math teacher get it on? Calculust
- None of my friends seemed very impressed when I told them I hooked up with my high school science teacher. I swear it is so much harder trying to fit in when you are homeschooled.
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High School Teacher One Liners
Which high school teacher one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with high school teacher? I can suggest the ones about english teacher and classroom teacher.
- It turns out my high school chemistry teacher was right.... Alcohol IS a solution.
- I asked a high school teacher "What do you teach?" He said... Idiots
- I had a teacher in high school, Ms Turtle. She tortoise well.
- What is the favorite liquor of every high school English teacher? Tequila Mockingbird
- What do you call a hot high school math teacher? Expansion of minors
- My High School math teacher passed everybody. He gave no F's.
- What do you call a bad Mathematician? A high-school teacher.
- I had a teacher named Misses Carriage in high school Good thing she didn't get married
- In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
- The Teacher asks what his favourite high school memory 5 years after finishing Leaving
- I had an Germany born English teacher in high school. If you know what I mean.
- I had s**... with my teacher in high school. I was homeschooled.
- Teacher, when are you going to give us some p**...? Kid: I thought this was "high" school
Silly High School Teacher Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about high school teacher you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean science teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make high school teacher pranks.
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes.
After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
Teacher: "I will call your parents!"
Elementary student: "No! I’ll be a good boy!"
Junior High School Student: "Pffff… Anyway…"
High School Student: "Send my mother my greetings!"
Bad Science Joke
A high school science teacher is ordering supplies for his class online, but he can't find one particular compound. So he calls the store. "Excuse me sir," says he, "But do you by chance carry Sodium Bromate?" The store owner replies, "Na-BrO"
A teacher I had in high school told me this one. It may better when told out loud rather than read, but it's still funny.
A guy wearing nothing but plastic wrap walks into a psychiatrist's office.
The psychiatrist looks at the man and says,
"Well, I can clearly see your nuts"
Courtesy of my black high school ethics teacher.
A black man and a white woman are out on a date for the first time. Things are going well and the woman is dying to take the man home. She has never been with a black man before and all of her friends keep telling her how get it is.
She's aggressively flirting with him all night and eventually suggests that they go back to her apartment. He agrees and they grab a cab. By the time they get there, the woman is so hot to trot that she practically shoves him through the front door.
She takes him to her bedroom and then heads into the bathroom to change into s**... l**.... Thinking about the man in the other room and imagining what how big he could be, the woman gets so turned on she can barely stand it. Finally she feels prepared. Burning with desire, she steps out of the bathroom and tells him: "Alright, now show me what you black men are known for!"
So the man grabs her TV and runs out the door.
"How long should my essay be?"
Back in high school I was in an english class and a fellow student asked the teacher how long our essays should be.
He responded saying, "As long as a girl's skirt: long enough to cover everything that needs to be covered, but short enough to keep me interested."
School Punishments
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny,Pat?"
"I just saw one of your garters!"
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"
"I just saw both of your garters!"
Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!"
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asks.
"From what I just saw, my school days are over!"
I went to an all girls high school...
Teachers used to have these talks about how we should never let a guy pay the bill when we're on dates, or else we'll feel the need to reciprocate with s**... favours. Now I, for one, think that this is a terrible deal. I mean, come on; dinners are expensive!
I was standing in line at the supermarket checkout last week.
I turned around and saw a beautiful young woman who looked a little familiar. I told her that I thought I knew her, to which she replied, "Well you should remember me. You`re the father of one of my kids."
I had to stop and think, and then it hit me. "New Years Eve - 2008. That rooftop party in San Diego! Wow! We got so high together, didn`t we? That was some night, huh? I guess I should have stayed in touch."
She looked at me a little puzzled and said, "What are you talking about? I am your son`s pre-school teacher."
God decided to visit Earth...
...so He traveled from Heaven to the big city. He walked down the street until he came upon a beggar sitting against a wall, crying.
"What ails you, my son?" asked God.
"I've been overtaken with a crippling disease and I can no longer walk" replied the man.
However, God took pity on the beggar and cured him with a snap of the fingers. The beggar stood up and ran down the street, laughing with joy.
Ambling down the road, God spies another man sitting on the curb, crying.
"What ails you, my son?" asked God again.
"Well," said the wretch, "Last week a p**... fell on my head and I was struck blind."
With another snap of his fingers God granted sight to the man, who thanked Him profusely before walking away.
Continuing down the boulevard God spotted yet a third man sitting on the curb, weeping to himself.
"What ails you, my son?" asked God?
"Well, sir," said the man, "I am a high school chorus teacher."
And the Lord sat down and wept with him.
A high school teacher once told me that math can solve any problem, numerical or not.
I've been sitting here for weeks and I still can't replace my X.
^^Sorry ^^;_;
A Very Outdated But Still Funny Joke
A high-school teacher asks a girl in the class, "What part of the body enlarges to ten times its normal size during periods of excitement?"
The girl stammers and blushes and looks at the floor and says, "I don't want to answer that question."
So the teacher asks a boy, "Do you know the answer?"
The boys answers, "The pupil of the eye."
"That's right," says the teacher. Then he turns to the girl and says, "Two things are obvious. First, you didn't study your lesson last night. Second, you wedding night is going to be a terrible disappointment to you."
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
(my girlfriend who's a high school teacher heard this from a student the other day)
Q: What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
A: Lean Beef
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground Beef
Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
A: Your mom
A Former Sergeant In The Marine Corps Took A New Job As A High School Teacher
A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher.
Just before the school year started, he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.
Dead silence... the rest of the year went very smoothly :)
Classroom Nerd
(In a high school class room)
Girl: Do you see that F@#$ING nerd over there.
Teacher: Don't be so mean, he could be your boss one day.
Nerd: Sorry I don't plan on being a p**...
I was in shop class in high school and my teacher had a nail, a bolt, and a screw in his hand...
... He asked us if we knew the difference between them. A girl raised her hand and said, "Well, I've never been bolted."
In high school I hooked up with my teacher...
She was really into me... I mean I was home schooled, but still!
It hurts every time!
During high-school health class, the topic of s**... came up. Whilst discussing it, the teacher described it as, "the most pleasurable experience you will ever have".
After hearing this, a girl from the back of the class calls out, "You're lying! It hurts every time!"
Puzzled, the teacher finally clicks and asks, "You aren't devoutly religious, by any chance...?"
A high school teacher walks in on a boy and a girl b**... in the men's restroom...
"Wrap it up."
Back in high school..
...I was a huge metal fan. In math class, I had an 8/10 girl next to me, she turns me on so much. I always try really hard to impress her, she's so hot. The teacher starts passing back last weeks test, and 8/10 looks at me, smiles, and starts playing with her hair. I can't handle it, I start spinning. The cute girl is completely staring now. I completely break down and stop spinning. She frowns, and I'm trying so hard to keep cool, but I had absolutely no power whatsoever. The teacher turns and plugs me back in, and I start spinning again. I was a metal fan in high school.
All of my friends are jealous when they find out I hooked up with my math teacher in high school
But honestly, being homeschooled s**....
Every time my significant other asks me why people act weird when they hear we are high school sweethearts...
I tell her I have no idea. What... just because I'm her AP Bio teacher I'm supposed to know everything?
Something nice happened to me today.
I'm a huge metal fan in high school. During math class, a beautiful girl sat next to me. She turned me on so much but she didn't notice me though. I tried really hard to impress her and she is hot.
Now the teacher is passing back the last week's test. She looks at me and she starts smiling and playing with her hair. I'm spinning and I can't handle it.
The teacher then trips over me. I broke down and stopped spinning. The beautiful girl then frowns. I looked back at the front of the room while trying hard to keep cool. I have no power.
The teacher plugs me in. I start spinning. I'm a huge metal fan.
I had a careless shop teacher in High School...
He lost his thumb and ring finger in an accident. What a shocker.
I was that kid in high school who would always ask the teacher, "When are we ever going to use this in real life?!"
...in s**... Ed.
Back when Stormy Daniels was in high school, none of her fellow classmen realized she would go down in history.
Guys were usually getting it in the gym locker room or behind the teacher's parking lot.
A high school English teacher is doing a lesson on how words modify to make new meanings.
The teacher explained: The word slap can be used as an action, a game, and a joke. You see, slap to the face is an action, slap jack is a card game, and a knee s**... is a joke.
But as you see, words need adjacent words to take on a new meaning. There is no word that can be an action, game and a joke just as it is.
A kid in the back of the room interrupted and asked, what about the word Trump?
Four high school kids who carpooled together decided to skip school and spend the day fishing.
The next day they told the teacher that they had had a flat tire, and couldn't make it to class.
Much to their relief, she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a pop quiz yesterday, so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Once they were seated and ready, she said: "First Question: Which tire was flat?"
The only reason yo momma passed high school...
is because the teachers deemed her too big to fail
Voltaire moments before death
I don't know if this has been on here but my high school teacher told me this a while ago.
On his death bed, a priest came to Voltaire's home and told him there was still time to go to heaven if he accepts Jesus as his lord and savior and reject the devil and all his beliefs.
Voltaire then says, now is not the time be making enemies.
My high school English teacher was so mean!
She would walk around the classroom and stop to ask students random grammar questions. I remember this one time she was walking by my desk and she stopped, pointed at me and said "Quick, name 2 pronouns!"
Startled, I looked at her and replied "who, me?"
To my high school teacher who said I'd never amount to anything...
Please use your psychic gift to tell me next week's winning lottery numbers. My mum will kick me out of her basement if I don't pay the rent I owe!
I wanted to get a job as a high school English teacher after I got out of jail..
But apparently you can't end a sentence with a prep position.
After 4 Years of Failing High School, Bobby Finally Got an A+ From His Teacher
its because he studied, you pervs
Why was the high school music teacher controversial?
Because he had his students read band books.
I was homeschooled growing up but I don't like to tell people that.
What I do like to tell people is that I had a teacher in high school that used to let me put her n**... in my mouth.
High school math teachers true-love story....
After being separated for years by cruel fate, the two star-crossed lovers raced towards each other like two freight trains... one leaving Cleveland at 6:30pm and traveling south at 55mph and the other having left Topeka at 4:15pm heading east at 35mph...
When I was in high school I had to have s**... with my teacher so I wouldnt fail algebra...
... homeschool was weird.
Two men meet at a washroom door
Two men meet at a washroom door. What were their nationalities?
One was Russian and the other was Finnish.
What did they say to each other?
European!
Thanks to my high school shop teacher for this one.
As a former high schooler I'm glad online classes are becoming the norm. I remember having to witness teachers having s**... with kids, m**... being done in the bathrooms, and living with the fear of school shootings.
Being home schooled in Mississippi was rough.
Mother is waking her son: Paulie, come, wake up, you have to go to school.
Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.
No, it's really high time, now get up.
But I don't want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain!
Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!
Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the s**... school.
Paulie, first of all, you're **45**, and second, you're the **headmaster**.
An all boys high school teacher was doing the attendance roll call one morning
She went through the list of names and each student replied, Yes miss as their name was called.
James?
Yes miss, replied James.
Is Robert here?
Yes miss, replied Robert.
Jack?
After about 5 seconds of silence, Jack hadn't replied.
The teacher continued, j**... today?
The whole class in unison, Okay we will miss.
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.
One smart-a**... jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme s**... exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Aw, that's so sad. Guess you'll just have to write with your other hand"
A chemist walks into a pharmacy...
With a pained expression the chemist asks the pharmacist for some acetylsalicylic acid.
The pharmacist looks confused as he asks, "You mean aspirin?"
The chemist, still in pain replies with exasperation, "Yes! I can never remember that word." (Credit to Mr. Wilgus, my high school chemistry teacher 43 years ago.)
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