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High Noon Jokes

21 high noon jokes and hilarious high noon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about high noon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest High Noon Short Jokes

Short high noon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The high noon humour may include short midnight jokes also.

  1. I challenge you to a battle of wits at high noon! Do you accept? Yes you say?! Well consider yourself mentally challenged.
  2. What do you call it after cowboys eat beans at high noon? A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.
    (Don't be mean. Inspired by my 2 month old.)
  3. Day and Noon run into each other and Day says, Bye Noon! Noon replies with: It's high Noon.
    I made this im proud of myself-
  4. Why did the samurai lose the duel at high noon? Because he brought a sword to a sho-gun fight.
  5. Whay doesn't McCree eat at lunch buffets? It's high noon, and Justice ain't gonna serve itself.
  6. I had a really hot dream last night... I was in the middle of the desert, high noon, next to an erupting volcano, wearing a parka.

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High Noon One Liners

Which high noon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with high noon? I can suggest the ones about lunchtime and early morning.

  1. Why do Texans duel at high noon? They distrust clocks.
  2. 12:00 PM on 4/20... It's high noon
  3. When do cowboys smoke? At high noon.
  4. If noon is at 12 o' clock, when is high noon? 4:20pm
  5. What's snoop dogg's favorite time of day? High Noon.
  6. When do cowboys like to smoke w**...? High noon.

High Noon Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about high noon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean noon jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make high noon pranks.

For anyone who gets confused about proper grammar and style in writing

I offer from the Internet, the following tip sheet, "How to Write Good":
- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Contractions aren't necessary
- The passive voice is to be avoided.
- Prepositions are not the words to end sentences with.
- Be more or less specific.
- Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
- One-word sentences? Eliminate.
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Marriage business

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20 for their first l**... encounter. In his highly a**... state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which was worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the decades she had 'charged' him for s**..., these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth millions, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!'

The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love-making encounter.
In his highly a**... state, he readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was a cute way for her to buy new clothes, etc.
Arriving home around noon one day, she found her husband in a very drunken state.
Over the next few minutes she heard of the ravages of financial ruin caused by corporate down sizing and it's effects on a 50 year old executive.
Calmly, she handed him a bank book showing deposits and interest for 12 years totaling nearly $1 million dollars.
Pointing across the parking lot she gestured toward the local bank while handing him stock certificates worth nearly $2 million dollars and informing him that he was the largest stockholder in the bank.
She told him that for 30 years she had charged him each time they had s**..., and this was the result of her investments.
By now he was distraught and beating his head against the side of the car.
She asked him why the disappointment at such good news and he replied, "If I had known what you were doing, I would have given you all of my business!"