Following is our collection of High jokes which are very funny. There are some high higher jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these high lowe puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women
"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."
- Leviticus 20:13 ESV
Oh, high marks.
"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."
Now he's high on my list of people I never want to see again.
It was a Big Mcsteak
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
He said "No, the steaks are too high".
Sandwiches.
She seemed surprised.
The man says to the butcher "Are you a gambling man?" The butcher replies "Yes, you could say that." The man says "Okay then, I bet you $100 you can't reach that meat you've got hanging from the ceiling up there." The Butcher looks up and says "No sorry" The man says "I thought you said you were a gambling man, why not?" The butcher answers. "The steaks are too high."
You can explore high schooler reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean high munchies dad jokes. There are also high puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..."
The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Someone poked me in the eye with a stick and then they all started shouting "14... 14... 14..."!
She looked surprised.
She looked surprised.
I told him, "My door is always open".
SEIZURE SALAD.
I peed
In a stable environment.
Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.
She seemed surprised.
Or he'll give you a HIV.
... and upon reaching a corner, we saw six men beating up someone. I was going to turn and lead my wife away from the crime happening before us, but suddenly she exlaimed
"Oh my god it's mom! Quick quick! Go and help!"
I turned to her and said
"Nah. I think 6's enough."
At her high school reunion, when she kept staring at a drunken man swigging a beer as he sat at a nearby table.
I asked her "Do you know him?"
"Yes" she sighed. "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago & he hasn't been sober since.
"WOW" I said. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating for so long?!?"
And that's when the fight started....
...and told me she will have sex with me if I advertise some random liquid detergent. Of course I said no, after all I'm a powerful man with high standards. As powerful as the new Ajax detergent, which offers a unique freshness, activated on air contact.
High definition.
Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the sex I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents
No name was given but he was a high wanking officer.
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools
He was high on my list of priorities
Well, that and sex.
The High Five
...who fell into a coma. We called him Tomato: he was a fruit and a vegetable.
They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.
he sees large pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender why the meat is hanging down from the ceiling. The bartender says "Around these parts we have a challenge. If you can jump up and touch the meat, you get it for free. If you can't you have to pay the price of the meat but you don't get it. How about taking the bet?" The man looks up at the meat. "Nah" He says. "The steaks are too high.
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
He's high on my list of priorities
Higher than you would think, the structural integrity of a well laid concrete floor renders it virtually indestructible towards an incoming egg, even at terminal velocity.
No exact details were given to the public, but he was a high wanking officer
Floor 20
...do they get high, or do they just get medium?
She looked surprised.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
Once he arrives, a nurse asks him for a urine sample. He complies, and moments later, the nurse comes back into the room with the results.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we've found high traces of glucose in your urine. You're diabetic." She says.
Disappointed, the man manages to reply, "Well, I'm still very thankful for your help today, nurse."
"Sure thing, sweet pee."
... She said no both times.
Gold - Mexico
Silver - Mexico
Bronze - Mexico
...like female doctor, female lawyer, etc.
Alcohol IS a solution.
In exchange for that I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standing with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner now available with lemon or vanilla.
When she has to chew before she swallows.
"Actually, you're not."
The steaks would be too high.
But you do it once from the high dive and you're some sort of monster.
She seemed surprised.
I was the control group
He sits down and asks the bartender what the deal is with the meat. Bartender says the deal is if you want a free drink you gotta jump up and touch the meat but if you miss, you buy a round for the bar. The guy takes another look at the meat and the bartender asks if he's in. No, says the guy the steaks are too high.
A high horse
A Hijacking.
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: sure, why not! So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
**Moral of the story**: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
said the Aztec high priest.
He wanted the high ground.
she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops
He then asks the bartender why are there three steaks taped to the ceiling? The bartender says well you get one shot, if you jump up and touch one of the steaks then you get free drinks for the rest of the day, however if you miss, you must buy everyone else's drinks for the next hour. The guy ponders for a minute and then says, I would do it, but the stakes are too high.
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
They don't want to see integration in their schools
Turns out it was just clique bait.
The Pulp.
She sends me things like what are your plans for dinner and Your dad and I are going out for dinner there's food in the fridge
Looking at games in the App Store, I think all those drug dealers turned to game developers.
The doctor told me "your patella measures 2.54 cm"
By surprise I said "Inch high knees?"
The doctor replied "æ«èšć·2.54æ«èšć·"
We never made it to a gig.
I don't know if she agreed but she seemed surprised
Apparently through high voltage nipple clamps wasn't the answer they were expecting.
He sees 2 steaks nailed to the ceiling. He asks the bartender, "What's up with those two steaks?"
The bartender replies,
"if you can jump up and take those two steaks from the ceiling, I'll give you $1,000,000, if not, I'll cut your arms off."
The guy then replies,
"I won't do it, the stakes are too high."
"Its over Romeo,
I have the high ground"
He is now high on my list of people I never wanna see again.
High definition.
It's the only day I'll tolerate high maintenance people.
The guy asks "what's this about?". the bartender replies, "well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You want to have a go?" The guy replies, "No thanks, the steaks are too high."
"Please, just wear your police uniform."
Take the high road, I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own.
The cashier must have told her what I'd done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness.
When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.
Now she has to go back to the end of the line to start all over.
Don't honk your horn at old people.
Thank god im homeschooled or that could have been wierd
Finally my high school karate classes came in useful.
I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women.
I said, Yes, but I was part of the control group.
He said the steaks were too high.
For the first couple weeks, I didn't earn much money. Then, I decided to rearrange the meat and the snacks in my store. I started earning lots of money. I knew that I would succeed when the chips were down and the steaks were high.
The other guy and I are really stubborn, and neither of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with our adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect he is actually gay.
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.
She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp.
Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in.
She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes.
The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.
Oh, no! the blonde shouted in dismay.
This one isn't wearing any shoes either!
1st man says, "I can't find my wife." 2nd man says, "I can't find mine either, what does yours look like?" 1st man " Six foot tall, blonde, big tits, mini skirt, high heels and a boob tube, whats yours look like?" 2nd man says, "Fxck her we'll look for yours.
I guess some people were starting to pressure her to invoke the 25th amendment and she got scared because she can't count that high.
The longer you go to high school, the dumber you are. Thats why I never went.
The rest of your life.
They're only used to high C's
With a pained expression the chemist asks the pharmacist for some acetylsalicylic acid.
The pharmacist looks confused as he asks, "You mean aspirin?"
The chemist, still in pain replies with exasperation, "Yes! I can never remember that word." (Credit to Mr. Wilgus, my high school chemistry teacher 43 years ago.)
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Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the high lower jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working high highschool piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.