High Jokes

Funniest High Short Jokes

Short high jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The high humour may include short huge jokes also.

1. I wrote the names of everyone I've unfriended onto a piece of paper; but my roommate took it and rolled it into a joint. Now he's high on my list of people I never want to see again.
2. Did you hear about McDonald's trying to get into the high end steakhouse market? It was a Big Mcsteak
3. Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion yesterday in less than 5 moves. Finally my high school karate classes came in useful.
4. In high school some kids told me they'd give me $20 to hang out with them. Turns out it was just clique bait.
5. Alabama changed the drinking age to 34 They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools
6. TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
7. Twenty years ago, my friend made a website where you compare getting high from different drugs. It was the original trip advisor.
8. What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
9. As an executioner, I often ask prisoners for their last requests. My last inmate asked me for a high five, but I just left him hanging
10. I had my leg x-rayed today. The doctor told me "your patella measures 2.54 cm"
    By surprise I said "Inch high knees?"
    The doctor replied "披萨卷2.54披萨卷"

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High One Liners

Which high one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with high? I can suggest the ones about loud and strong.

1. What sort of grades did Tommy Wiseau receive in school? Oh, high marks.
2. Why didn't the japanese guy get a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
3. It turns out my high school chemistry teacher was right.... Alcohol IS a solution.
4. Gas prices are so high... That even the coronavirus stopped traveling..
5. My friend used my todo list to roll a blunt He's high on my list of priorities
6. I told my wife she was applying her eyebrows too high She looked surprised.
7. What would you call the Fantastic Four if snoop dogg joined the team? The High Five
8. I told my friend she drew her eyebrows on too high... She seemed surprised.
9. We had a band in High School called 1023 Megabytes. We never made it to a gig.
10. What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition.
11. My dad gets high all the time He's a pilot.
12. Cop asks a guy..how high are you? Guy: no officer, it's hi, how are you.
13. What's a pirate's favorite musical note? The High Cs
14. 2020 Olympic high jump results Gold - Mexico
    silver - Mexico
    Bronze - Mexico
15. "Sweetheart, I'm pregnant.", "High pregnant, I'm dad!" "Actually, you're not."

How High Jokes

Here is a list of funny how high jokes and even better how high puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My wife said, Can you have a talk with the kids on drugs? I said, Fine, but I don't make any sense when I'm high.
• I am so high and I made up a joke and I want to tell it and make someone laugh but no one is home so: Whats an epileptics favorite food? SEIZURE salad.
  I peed
• Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government? Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
• Everyone knows about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.. But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.
  He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast.
• Why are there no highly credited esteemed flat-earthers? Because flattery will get you nowhere.
• Fight Club was awesome! Hey guys so I found this Fight Club last night and had a blast! I showed up a little late so I missed some of the rules but I highly recommend it!
• I had a gay friend in high school... ...who fell into a coma. We called him Tomato: he was a fruit and a vegetable.
• I bet my butcher $1,000 that he couldn't reach the beef on the top shelf without a ladder. He said the steaks were too high.
• 5 year old daughters first independent joke: What is a cats favourite colour? Purrrrrr-ple
  High fives all round!
• Today, in honor of 4/20, I'm letting my entire custodial staff partake before they come to work. It's the only day I'll tolerate high maintenance people.

High School Jokes

Here is a list of funny high school jokes and even better high school puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why did the high school girl only answer questions 1, 3, 5 and 7 on her exam? Because she literally can't even.
• What is a Mexicans favorite high school sport? Cross country
• They say the average high school prom goer now spends $1000 on prom Or $2000 if you count the abortion.
• My high school guidance counselor told me I'd never become anything as an adult. Jokes on her. I became miserable!
• Pros of my high school years: I graduated top of my class, was voted prom king, and hooked up with the hottest girl in my grade. Cons of my high school years: my twin sister and I were homeschooled.
• Being a stripper is like working at McDonald's.... Covered in oil and questioning your choices after high school.
• I was voted Least likely to succeed by my High School class. I hate my teaching job.
• Why can't fish pass high school? They're all below C level.
• My high school guidance counselor told me I'll always be useless So I became a guidance counselor.
• What does the US Government use to spy on a high school student? An essay.

High People Jokes

Here is a list of funny high people jokes and even better high people puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I wrote down the names of everyone I dislike on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint. He is now high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
• Doctor of death! Impressively, only 2% of the people I operated on died last year. But for some reason the authorities think that's too high for a dentist.
• Why can't short people cook? Because the steaks are too high.
• So Betsy DeVos resigned... I guess some people were starting to pressure her to invoke the 25th amendment and she got scared because she can't count that high.
• Did you hear some people are saying listening to Queen causes autism? Apparently it's because of the unusually high Mercury content.
• I did really well on my essay about communism. People think they're funny by asking "did you get high Marx?" Actually, I did well because I approached the topic from all Engels.
• What drug do French people use to get high? Oui'd
• Some people say Ketamine is just for animals... They need to get off their high horses.
• I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, but my friend used the paper to roll a joint. Now he's high on a list of people I never want to see again.
• What do rich people and drug addicts have in common? They both have friends in high places.

High Five Jokes

Here is a list of funny high five jokes and even better high five puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why can't T-Rex's High Five? Because they're all dead
• There was a man on a stool with a rope around his neck. He said he'll kill himself if i didnt give him a high-five. Of course i left him hanging.
• What tree gives the best high-fives? A PALM tree!
• What does a ginger do when he wants to high five a friend? He claps
• How do plants greet each other on the first day of spring? With a high-five (or high-stem)!
• I high-fived Saddam Hussein Didn't want to leave him hanging
• What's the difference between Darth Vader and Tom Brady? Darth Vader probably gets high fived
• My financial adviser said I should be tight with my money. So when I got home I high-fived my wallet.
• A man is brought to the gallows to be executed. As they're putting the noose around his neck, he's asked if he has any last requests. he asked for a high five. But they left him hanging.
• One of the last things Jeffrey Epstein said to the guards was - "high five!" But they just left him hanging

Junior High Jokes

Here is a list of funny junior high jokes and even better junior high puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Teacher: "I will call your parents!"
  Elementary student: "No! I’ll be a good boy!"
  Junior High School Student: "Pffff… Anyway…"
  High School Student: "Send my mother my greetings!"
• If I knew a kid named Roy that wore corduroys back in junior high school, we'd still be calling him corridor Roy to this day.
• Did you hear? Somebody released a bunch of angry, rabid owls down at the local junior high! I tell you, school hooting is a real problem in this country.
• Why are junior high girls like simple math? It's easier to just do them in your head

Uplifting High Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about high you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rich jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make high pranks.