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High Five Jokes

135 high five jokes and hilarious high five puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about high five that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest High Five Short Jokes

Short high five jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The high five humour may include short thumbs up jokes also.

  1. As an executioner, I often ask prisoners for their last requests. My last inmate asked me for a high five, but I just left him hanging
  2. 5 year old daughters first independent joke: What is a cats favourite colour? Purrrrrr-ple
    High fives all round!
  3. There was a man on a stool with a rope around his neck. He said he'll kill himself if i didnt give him a high-five. Of course i left him hanging.
  4. How do plants greet each other on the first day of spring? With a high-five (or high-stem)!
  5. What's the difference between Darth Vader and Tom Brady? Darth Vader probably gets high fived
  6. My financial adviser said I should be tight with my money. So when I got home I high-fived my wallet.
  7. A man is brought to the gallows to be executed. As they're putting the noose around his neck, he's asked if he has any last requests. he asked for a high five. But they left him hanging.
  8. One of the last things Jeffrey Epstein said to the guards was - "high five!" But they just left him hanging
  9. Two catterpillars meet up And they high five, and they high five, and they high five, and they high five, and they high five...
  10. Why does Jesus Look so sad? Because he high-fived with both hands and his disciples left him hanging.

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High Five One Liners

Which high five one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with high five? I can suggest the ones about congrats and fist bump.

  1. Why didn't the japanese guy get a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
  2. What would you call the Fantastic Four if snoop dogg joined the team? The High Five
  3. Why can't T-Rex's High Five? Because they're all dead
  4. What tree gives the best high-fives? A PALM tree!
  5. What does a ginger do when he wants to high five a friend? He claps
  6. I went to give a suicidal person a high five.... But he left me hanging.
  7. You should never give an executioner a high five... They will always leave you hanging
  8. I high-fived Saddam Hussein Didn't want to leave him hanging
  9. A Japanese guy tried to high five Logan Paul... But Logan left him hanging.
  10. Why do you always high five the emo kid? You can't leave them hanging...
  11. A depressed man tried to high five a tree But it just left him hanging
  12. Why didn't the Asian man get a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging
  13. How old are you, son? Son: I'm 5.
    Dad: High five, i'm dad.
  14. Why won't Logan Paul high five Ricegum? He likes leaving asian people hanging
  15. Why shouldn't you ask Logan Paul for a high-five? He'll just leave you hanging.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about high five can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of high five puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Happy High Five Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about high five you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean fives jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make high five prank.

A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm.
The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms.
The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"
The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate.
We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!"
After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.
The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk.
With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.
The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen!
What does the dog do if Raptors win?"
The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."

Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and j**... Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting.
During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting.
Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.”
So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie.
After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him.
Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.”
The others nod and the meeting continues.
Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping.
He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.”
So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air.
When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.”
The others nod, and the meeting continues.
Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when j**... emits a thunderous f**....
He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."

May: "Why did you slap me?!"
Michael: "I didn't slap your face! I High fived it!"
May: "I'm going to tell mom on you when we go to the sea side!"
Micheal: "Uh, Shore you will."
May: "Don't be such a beach."

How does a blonde high-five? She smacks herself in the forehead.

Jets Fan

A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms.
The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"
The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"
After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.
The game begins with the Jets receiving a kickoff. They march down field stop at the 30,and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.
The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"
"I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."

if men fall asleep directly after s**... . . .

why is it so hard to catch a r**...?
-Jimmy Carr
p.s. never high five a rabbi

An instructor was teaching a young man how to swordfight.

The young man wasn't terribly good, but he had a rather high opinion of his abilities. In a practice duel with the instructor, he was continually waving his sword about arrogantly, in wide strokes, and often leaving himself wide open to attack.
The instructor thought "he won't last five minutes with that attitude, so I need to scare it out of him. But I don't want to hurt the poor kid too badly."
The instructor feinted.

B'dum tsss

A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.
**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.
1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted
4. What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality
5. Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither
6. What did the drummer say to the band leader? "Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?"
7. How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five: One to screw it in, four to say that Neil Peart could've done it better
8. Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So that they can use the handicapped parking space
9. How do you get a drummer off your porch? Give him the money for the pizza
10. What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer
Anyone got any more?

Why should you never high five someone in the gallows...

Because they always leave you hang'n

high five

I've just read that actor Orlando Bloom punched Justin Bieber last night during an argument at a nightclub in Spain.
Orlando complained that his hand was pretty sore today.
Apparently the entire nightclub had queued up to high-five him.

Random Guy at Chipotle

A random guy at Chipotle said "give me a high five" and afterwards said "you should wash that hand"...not sure whether to laugh or not.

A son tells his father he lost his virginity...

... the father high-fives his kid and says, "that's great pal, let's sit down and have a beer."
the boy replies to his father, "I'll have a beer but I can't sit down"

The Stat Hunters

Two statisticians are out hunting. They see a bird sitting on a tree branch someways out. "Go ahead, take first crack at it!" says the first statistician. The second statistician shoots 7 inches too high. The first statistician then aims, and quickly shoots 7 inches too low. The two men look at each other, then simultaneously high five and say "Nice shot!"

Judge:You are sentenced to death.

Judge: You'll be hung.
Wife from down the back: HE'S ALREADY HUNG!
Me: Your Honor please uncuff me so I can high five my wife.

Never high five a rabbi - Jimmy Carr

Never give a Roman a high five.

Or he'll give you a h**....

A young boy died after having s**... with his teacher...

His friends high fived him to death.
Zak galifinakorishdjignko

Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do.

Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM!
-high fives Socrates-

I always high five black people

Because I don't want to leave them hanging.

What kind of high fives does Jesus like receiving?

Holey ones!

Every time I meet someone new, my girlfriend gets a slap across the face.

I really need to stop high-fiving people.

Why didn't b**... in 1850 give high-fives?

Because everyone always left them hanging!

A reporter from North Korea's state-owned media asks a farmer...

A reporter from a North Korea's state-owned media asks a farmer, "Would you give your mansion to the supreme leader if you had one?"
The farmer answers, "Yes, of course I would!"
"If you had one million dollar, would you give it to the supreme leader, too?"
"Yes, absolutely!"
"How about five cows, would you give them to the supreme leader?"
The farmer hesitates, then answers, "No..."
The reporter is confused, "you would give a mansion and one million dollar to the supreme leader, why would you not give only five cows? Is it because you think cows can't match the highness of the supreme leader?"
"Well, yes... and also I really do have five cows..."

Two statisticians are out hunting...

Two statisticians are out hunting when one of them sees a duck. The first takes aim and shoots, but the bullet goes sailing pass 6in too high. The second statistician also takes aim and shoots, but this time the bullet goes sailing past 6in too low. The two statisticians then give one another high fives and exclaim "Got him!"

Fun fact: Did you know that h**... is Roman for 'high five'?

Pass it on - or, rather, don't.

Why are black people afraid of high fives?

They don't want to be left hanging

Who is the easiest to get a high-five from in a war?

The French.
They always have their hands up.

Why do women die from s**... five times less than men?

Because they can't climb high enough on the corporate ladder.

Why should you never high-five a Roman?

They might give you Hi-V back!

Fun Fact: The term h**... is actually Roman for High Five

Pass it on...then again maybe not.

What kind of tree likes a high five?

A palm tree

My girlfriend of 2 years just told me her ex used to beat her really badly, and she never told me b/c it's really painful for her to talk about. I feel bad I didn't figure it out sooner.

I always thought she just really hated high fives.

What do you call money on drugs?

A high five...

News from the s**... health clinic

A friend of mine received news from the s**... health clinic, he opened the letter and gleefully shouted "high five!". Relieved I took a look at the letter, dont know how I'm going to tell him that it's pronounced H.I.V

What did Magic Johnson give his teammates after winning an NBA title?

A HI-V (high five)

How do gay guys high-five?

With difficulty until they get past the knuckles.

136 days!

Three guys are celebrating in a bar.
They keep high-fiving each other and yelling, " " " "
They are so excited, the bartender can't stand it any longer.
"Hey," he says, "what are you guys celebrating?"
"We finished a jigsaw puzzle!" says one of them.
"You finished a jigsaw puzzle???" says the bartender. "How come that's so exciting?"
"Well, it said on the box 'Four to six years'!"

I went to go high five a shirt in my closet...

...but I left it hanging.

I will never give Tony Romo a high five

The risk of killing him is too high. I'm too pretty for jail.

I got shot by a cop after I beat him at poker. He had quad aces but I drew an 8-high straight flush (clubs) on the river...

...I guess black fives do matter.

"Bad news," The doctor said. "There's a high chance that you have gonorrhea."

This was quite alarming, as he was telling me this information five minutes after we had i**....

Some people just need a high-five.

in the face... with a chair... twice.

A son comes home and tells his father "I finally had s**...!"

The dad smiles, gives his son a high five and cracks oben two beers. Then he says: "Nice son. Come on, take this beer, sit down and tell me everything."
The son: "Beer is cool, but I can't sit for a while."

Yo mama

So fat I can stand on her belly and high five Jesus
-Merry Xmas

If I were in high school again, I'd register as a licensed therapist.

Then listening fives times a week would finally payoff.

So Richard Spencer just got an alt-high five while being filmed.

Some might call it a punch but I prefer an Alt-Hug

Aaron Hernandez once tried to give me a high-five...

But I left him hanging

Why can't Abraham Lincoln high five anybody?

Because he is dead.

How do you tease a Jewish midget?

Heil h**... so they can't high five you.

Why can't T-rex's high-five?

'cause they're extinct

How many tuba players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five, One to screw in the light bulb and four to complain that it's too high.

I always give a black man a high five when he wants one.

Don't want to leave him hanging

What does h**... actually mean?

Roman numerals for a high-five, of course.

Facebook Birthdays.

Facebook birthdays don't remind me to say happy birthday. Instead, they remind me to systematically remove the kids from high school who I haven't talked to in five years.

Asked my SO to give me a high five

Yeah, now I have h**...

Why couldn't a Japanese man get a high five

Why doesn't Logan Paul do high fives?

Because he likes to leave you hanging

How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Six - one to try and reach the socket, and the other five to stand around saying that its too high for her.

The more I think about it, maybe h**... wouldn't have been so upset..

If people stopped leaving him hanging for high-fives all the time..

So Saddam Hussein was trying to give George Bush a high-five...

But George Bush left him hanging.

Why did ancient Romans not exchange high fives?

They didn't want to spread h**....

What do cannibals say before giving high-fives?

Give me some skin.

Sometimes some people deserve a good high five,

in the face, with a chair.

I kinda feel sorry for h**....

Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

I asked my Roman friend for a high five

Got h**... instead

A doctor is performing a very dangerous operation on a child.

Doctor: The chances of you surviving this are only 50%
Child: Lets do it 2 times then!
*high fives the doctor*

How did the Roman contract AIDS?

From a high five

What vegetable do dudes high five?

Broccoli

What did the cheerful octopus say when he lost three of his tentacles in a terrible accident?

High five!

h**... is roman numerals for high five

Pass it on

The janitor at my work asked if I wanted to take a five minute break to go smoke w**... with her.

I told her, 'No, I'm sorry, but I don't have time for a high maintainance woman."

Two clouds tried to high five...

But they just mist each other.

jokes about high five

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these high five jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.