High Definition Jokes
26 high definition jokes and hilarious high definition puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about high definition that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest High Definition Short Jokes
Short high definition jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The high definition humour may include short high class jokes also.
- Today I was asked how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently "4K ultra high definition" was not the right answer.
- When asked how I view lesbian relationships In High Definition apparently is not an appropriate answer.
- I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high She told me she's tired of my repost BS and divorced me. It was definitely a surprise.
- Me: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? Her: If you say "Addict-ionary", I will kill you.
Me: I was going to say "High Definition", but yours is better. - My doctor prescribed me new drugs for my eye problem, Now I see everything in High Definition
- I couldn't afford a nice television, so I just smoked a ton of w**... and read the dictionary. High definition.
- I can't afford a nice t.v. So, I just smoke a load of w**... and read the dictionary.
HIGH DEFINITION. - Scientists have found a definite link between sugar highs and p**... If you have a sugar high, you've probably eaten too many lolis.
- What is the difference between... A dictionary on w**... and a dictionary on heroine?
One is High definition, the other is Addictionary.
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High Definition One Liners
Which high definition one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with high definition? I can suggest the ones about high people and high ground.
- What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition.
- What would high definition be called if invented in Paris? The French resolution!
- I got a new ultra high definition monitor on January 1st. My New Year's resolution is 4K.
- What do you call a dictionary that smokes w**...? High definition
- What do you get when you roll w**... on a dictionary? ...High Definition
High Definition Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about high definition you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean high score jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make high definition pranks.
Tatoos of Elvis
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of Elvis be tattooed high up on her left thigh.
The tattoo guy complies, but when he's done, the woman looks at the result and says "That doesn't look like Elvis at all!"
The guy says, "I can't do anything to remove it, but I could try again on the other thigh".
The woman agrees, but when all is done, she thinks that the new tattoo looks nothing like Elvis, either and refuses to pay.
The tattoo artist makes a proposal, "Ma'am, I'll ask a customer in the waiting room to come in and have a look at the tattoos. If he can identify Elvis, you pay me. Otherwise, you owe me nothing."
The woman agrees. A customer is called in and the woman, dropping her pants and spreading her legs, says "Do you recognize these famous musicians?"
The guy looks, thinks for a minute, then says "I don't know about the twins, but the one in the middle with the beard and bad breath is definitely w**... Nelson."
Horrors of poverty
I've been around, you know. I've seen some of the poorest slums where children are starving and disease is rampant. Let me tell you, you've not seen anything, *anything* like it, until you've seen it in high-definition plasma!
Three blondes are walking through the forest
when they come upon a set of tracks. The first says "These are obviously wolf tracks." The second says "You must be high! they're cougar tracks." The third replies "You're both r**.... They are definitely bear tracks!" They're still arguing when the train hits.
I was arguing with friends over what school weighed the most.
One friend said high schools because the kids are older and weigh more.
Another said definitely colleges, not only do the students weigh more than high school students, there's so many more people.
I said you're both wrong, it's definitely Catholic schools, they have more mass.
Why didn't the cow laugh at my joke?
He wasn't very amoosed because it was udderly lacking in humor, he had herd it before, it wasn't very mooving, it was cheesy and I milked the punchline a bit too much. Definitely wasn't moosic to his ears. He still gave me a pat on the back though, which put me in a better moood.
I was at a joke competition too, so the steaks were high, yet I still managed to butcher the joke. I knew I should have stuck to that cowculus competition instead, except everything goes in one ear and out the udder in my math classes.
Ok you should stop reading here, it's probably pasture bedtime.
In addition to asking presidential candidates for birth certificates, they definitely need to start asking this.
In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.
A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office.
She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"
Department Store Shopping
A department store in town opened a building, 6 stories high, each floor offering progressively improving quality husbands.
They offered a range of men for sale to women at their discretion.
A woman walked into the store head the banner above the first floor reading, "Nice Guy," impressed as she was, she moved to the second floor.
The second floor's banner read, "Nice guys that love kids." Dumb-founded as she was, she continued on to see what else this store had to offer.
The third floor offered, "Cute guys that loved kids and cuddles." The woman was definitely getting impressed but she was interested to see what else she could find.
The fourth floor of the department store read, "Hot guys, love kids and have money". The girl, in her element, couldn't help but go to the next floor.
The fifth floor read, "Hot guys, love kids, have money, have a nice house and love family." She couldnt help but look at the next floor, where the banner read, "This floor only proves that women can't be pleased, and there is no men for sale on this floor."
For the point of proving points, the same department opened a shop across the road for men, same amount of levels. The first floor read, "Loves s**...," and the 2nd floor read, "Pretty and loves s**...." Levels 3, 4, 5, and 6 were never visited.