The Best 34 Higgs Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Higgs jokes. There are some higgs subatomic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these higgs hadron puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Higgs Jokes and Puns

So a Higgs Boson particle goes into a catholic church

And it gets stopped at the door by the bishop.

The bishop says, "Sir, I can't allow you in here."

"What? Why?" the particle responds.

"You call yourself the 'God particle.' That's blasphemy against our Lord."

"Oh, well, I guess that makes sense. Before I go, though, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah sure," the bishop responds. "Might as well."

"So," the Higgs Boson begins, "if you don't allow me in here, how do you have mass?"

Maybe not "particle-ularily" funny...

So a priest walks into his church and sees a Higgs boson particle hanging around; says "what are you doing here?" the particle says "I've always been here - you can't have mass without me..."

*groan*

All this news about finding the Higgs Boson is so exciting...

It's giving me a Hadron.

Higgs joke, All this news about finding the Higgs Boson is so exciting...

A Higgs boson walks into a bar...

...the barman doesn't understand.

A higgs boson particle walks into the Vatican

The Pope says, "you call yourself the God particle! Your blasphemy is not welcome here, get out!"

The higgs boson particle says "but you can't have mass without me."


A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church

The preacher says "We don't allow Higgs Boson particles in here!"

The Higgs Boson particle says "If you don't allow Higgs Boson particles in here, how do you have mass?"

A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church...

The priest says ''We don't allow you in here- you call yourself the God particle- that's sacrilegious!''

The Higgs Boson particle responds, ''Hey, if you don't allow the Higgs Boson particle, how do you have Mass?''

Higgs joke, A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church...

Higgs Boson walks into a church

Pastor says "*oh no, no you don't! You have caused the church plenty trouble already, I must ask you to leave immediately!*"

Higgs Boson replies "*but without me, how will you have mass?*"

Ever notice how at subatomic levels, everything starts rhyming?

You've got muons and gluons, protons and neutrons, but that higgs boson, what a radical.

Why doesn't the pope like the Higgs Boson?

Because you can't have mass without him

Why would the Higgs Boson feel unsafe in a country where the leader openly practiced genocide?

It would be a land of mass-murder

You can explore higgs collider reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean higgs atoms dad jokes. There are also higgs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Higgs Boson walks into a church during Sunday services...

...and the priest immediately stops preaching and says "We dont like your kind around here. You are not welcome in this church.". The whole church, already silent, waits anxiously when Higgs replies "Why not? You can't have mass without me!"

What grazes in the Higgs Field?

The Higgs Bison!

A Higgs boson enters a church

And the priest says, "I'm sorry, we don't allow Higgs bosons in churches"

The Higgs replies, "but without me, you can't have mass"

A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church...

"You can't be here" says the pastor

The Higgs Boson particle responds
"But with out me, how can you have mass?!"

Just explained the Higgs Boson to my friend even tho I don't understand it.

He was very convinced. I bet this is how religions get started.

Higgs joke, Just explained the Higgs Boson to my friend even tho I don't understand it.

Scientists recently developed a weapon that directly targets the Higgs Boson

It's classified as a weapon of mass destruction.

A Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church...

The priest says, "Hey hey hey, you're not allowed here."
The Higgs boson says, "But without me, there would be no mass."

LHC (Large Hadron Collider)

When LHC discovered Higgs Boson, it literally became deus ex machina.


A Higgs Boson walks into a church

The priest says we don't allow Higgs Bosons in here . The Higgs Boson then replies but without me, how could you have mass?

So a Higgs boson meets the Pope...

"You can't have Mass without me."

What do you call the big brother of the Higgs Boson?

The Big Broson.

Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church

Priest says 'you're not allowed in here! Get out!' Higgs Boson looks at him confused, 'but without me you can't have mass.'

A Higgs Boson walks into a Church and is told to leave

He says 'but you can't have mass without me!'

I'm not getting fat...

I'm collecting higgs bosons

I heard there's a guy that destroyed a group of Higgs Boson particles.

He's a mass murderer.

Why is the Higgs Boson called "the god particle?"

Because it gives us mass

A Higgs Boson walks into a Church

They are aghast.

The priest says, "You!! You claim to be a god particle. Your kind are not allowed here."

HB replies, "Then how do you have mass?"

What's the most massive mammal?

A higgs bison.

About the new evidence surrounding the Higgs Boson particle

Why does it Matter?

A Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic church

The Priest says " you can't be here!". The particle replies "you can't have mass without me

A Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church..

Priest: "I'm sorry we don't allow Higgs bosons in here."

Higgs boson: "oh I'm sorry, but without me you can't have mass."

It's Dad Jokes Friday, so I'm putting a few up

Higgs Boson goes into a church. The priest says "you're not welcome here".

Higgs Boson says...



"You can't have mass without me".

A Higgs-boson particle goes into a church.

The vicar says, "We don't want your sort in here!"
The Higgs-boson particle says
"But you can't have mass without me!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the higgs boson jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working higgs quarks piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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