Higgs Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic church

The Priest says " you can't be here!". The particle replies "you can't have mass without me

A Higgs-boson particle goes into a church.

The vicar says, "We don't want your sort in here!"
The Higgs-boson particle says
"But you can't have mass without me!"

A Higgs boson enters a church

And the priest says, "I'm sorry, we don't allow Higgs bosons in churches"

The Higgs replies, "but without me, you can't have mass"

A higgs boson particle walks into the Vatican

The Pope says, "you call yourself the God particle! Your blasphemy is not welcome here, get out!"

The higgs boson particle says "but you can't have mass without me."

A Higgs Boson walks into a church

The priest says we don't allow Higgs Bosons in here . The Higgs Boson then replies but without me, how could you have mass?

So a Higgs Boson particle goes into a catholic church

And it gets stopped at the door by the bishop.

The bishop says, "Sir, I can't allow you in here."

"What? Why?" the particle responds.

"You call yourself the 'God particle.' That's blasphemy against our Lord."

"Oh, well, I guess that makes sense. Before I go, though, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah sure," the bishop responds. "Might as well."

"So," the Higgs Boson begins, "if you don't allow me in here, how do you have mass?"

All this news about finding the Higgs Boson is so exciting...

It's giving me a Hadron.

A Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church...

The priest says, "Hey hey hey, you're not allowed here."
The Higgs boson says, "But without me, there would be no mass."

A Higgs Boson walks into a Church and is told to leave

He says 'but you can't have mass without me!'

A Higgs Boson walks into a Church

They are aghast.

The priest says, "You!! You claim to be a god particle. Your kind are not allowed here."

HB replies, "Then how do you have mass?"

A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church...

The priest says ''We don't allow you in here- you call yourself the God particle- that's sacrilegious!''

The Higgs Boson particle responds, ''Hey, if you don't allow the Higgs Boson particle, how do you have Mass?''

A Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church..

Priest: "I'm sorry we don't allow Higgs bosons in here."

Higgs boson: "oh I'm sorry, but without me you can't have mass."

Maybe not "particle-ularily" funny...

So a priest walks into his church and sees a Higgs boson particle hanging around; says "what are you doing here?" the particle says "I've always been here - you can't have mass without me..."

*groan*

Higgs Boson walks into a church

Pastor says "*oh no, no you don't! You have caused the church plenty trouble already, I must ask you to leave immediately!*"

Higgs Boson replies "*but without me, how will you have mass?*"

A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church

The preacher says "We don't allow Higgs Boson particles in here!"

The Higgs Boson particle says "If you don't allow Higgs Boson particles in here, how do you have mass?"

A Higgs boson walks into a bar...

...the barman doesn't understand.

Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church

Priest says 'you're not allowed in here! Get out!' Higgs Boson looks at him confused, 'but without me you can't have mass.'

Higgs Boson walks into a church during Sunday services...

...and the priest immediately stops preaching and says "We dont like your kind around here. You are not welcome in this church.". The whole church, already silent, waits anxiously when Higgs replies "Why not? You can't have mass without me!"

It's Dad Jokes Friday, so I'm putting a few up

Higgs Boson goes into a church. The priest says "you're not welcome here".

Higgs Boson says...



"You can't have mass without me".

A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church...

"You can't be here" says the pastor

The Higgs Boson particle responds
"But with out me, how can you have mass?!"

LHC (Large Hadron Collider)

When LHC discovered Higgs Boson, it literally became deus ex machina.

I heard there's a guy that destroyed a group of Higgs Boson particles.

He's a mass murderer.

Why would the Higgs Boson feel unsafe in a country where the leader openly practiced genocide?

It would be a land of mass-murder

So a Higgs boson meets the Pope...

"You can't have Mass without me."

What's the most massive mammal?

A higgs bison.

Why doesn't the pope like the Higgs Boson?

Because you can't have mass without him

Why is the Higgs Boson called "the god particle?"

Because it gives us mass

What grazes in the Higgs Field?

The Higgs Bison!

Why is the Higgs Boson referred to as the "God Particle?"

Because it gives us Mass

Scientists recently developed a weapon that directly targets the Higgs Boson

It's classified as a weapon of mass destruction.

Just explained the Higgs Boson to my friend even tho I don't understand it.

He was very convinced. I bet this is how religions get started.

I'm not getting fat...

I'm collecting higgs bosons

Ever notice how at subatomic levels, everything starts rhyming?

You've got muons and gluons, protons and neutrons, but that higgs boson, what a radical.

What are the funniest higgs jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Higgs? Well, here are the best Higgs puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Higgs pick up lines to share with friends.

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