Hideous Jokes
22 hideous jokes and hilarious hideous puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hideous that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you brave enough to face the hideous laughter? This article explores the Hideous Laughter 5e spell which can leave even the bravest of creature's screaming in terror. Find out how to use this monstrous spell to your advantage with ghastly examples of naked creatures running away in fear!
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Funniest Hideous Short Jokes
Short hideous jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hideous humour may include short horrific jokes also.
- While going to sleep, my roommate always says that there is a hideous monster under his bed. We have a bunk bed.
- I dated a girl with a parrot once. Hideous thing that would not shut up. The parrot was cool though.
- A hideously ugly man with a parrot on his shoulder walk into a bar... The bartender asks "does the animal speak?"
The parrot replies "I don't know." - TIL that excessive consumption of raw egg white can cause brittle hair, rashes, fungal infection, and anemia... I then imagined the hairless, hideous, and weak beast Gaston should have looked like.
- I don't even know what ugly is anymore, I've thought some dude was alright looking, but a friend said she thought he was hideous I should add we were looking into a mirror at that time
- This hideous woman came stumbling up to me in a club with whiskey breath. She leaned into my ear. "s**...?" she asked.
"Male," I replied. - Failed DIY project I thought it would be cool to tar up my driveway, but it ended up looking hideous. Can't even blame anyone, it's my own s**... asphalt.
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Hideous One Liners
Which hideous one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hideous? I can suggest the ones about awful and horrible.
- I'll never watch women's powerlifting again. I saw some truly hideous snatches.
- How come we never see hideous fish men around any more? Dagon.
- Why are ugly people harder to see? They are hideous.
- Girl are you an angel? Because you are hideous by human standards.
Laughable Hideous Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about hideous you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean atrocious jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hideous pranks.
A man is sitting on a train with a baby, who is very ugly.
In fact, the baby is so ugly that a nearby passenger says,
What a hideous baby.
I've never been so insulted in my whole life, the man says, and
hurries to the train conductor to complain.
I'm so sorry, sir, the train conductor says, when the man tells her
he was insulted so terribly. I apologise on behalf of the railway
company.
Please allow me to move you to the first-class cabin, where you
can enjoy a free glass of champagne and I will try to find some cheese for your pet rat.
Complimenting the wife
An Irish man's wife is standing n**... in front of the mirror, looking at her body and feeling distraught by what she sees.
"Oh p**..., look at me! I'm hideous! I'm overweight, me t**... are saggy and me hair's starting to go grey.
"Could you please pay me a compliment to make me feel better about meself?"
p**... looks up from his book and says to his wife,
"Ah well... at least we know ye have perfect eyesight!"
Local police have reported finding a body in the river. They say it's hideous, bloated and the smell is indescribable. It's ruin of a face is reportedly the stuff of nightmares. Obviously I'm really worried.
Just drop me a text and let me know you're okay.
An Amish couple go to the city
So an Amish man and woman head to the big city for the first time. When they book they hotel the see that they are on the 8th floor.
A they head towards the elevator they see a hideous woman get in and go to the top floor. When the elevator comes back down a beautiful woman gets out.
When the man sees this he tells his wife "quick, get in the elevator!"
A couple who had two beautiful daughters decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
Soon, the wife became pregnant and was
happy to deliver a baby boy.
The father raced to the hospital to see his new
son, but was horrified to find an incredibly ugly
baby.
He said to his wife, "I cannot possibly be the
Father of that hideous child. Look at the two
beautiful daughters I fathered."
His wife blushed and the husband became suspicious. "Have you been with another man?" he said.
His wife admitted, "Not this time."
A l**... walks into a bar & tells the bartender...
A l**... walks into a bar & tells the bartender "I know I'm disgusting looking but If you could please serve me a scotch I'd be grateful, I'll leave if I'm too much to stomach." Bartender says "No problem, as long as your paying I'll pour."
So the bartender pours the l**... a drink & then starts gagging. the l**... say's he'll leave but the bartender says "No it's ok." So the l**... orders another scotch & the bartender pours the drink then vomits. the l**... says "you don't have to pretend I'm not hideous I can leave." The bartender shakes his head & says " what you look like isn't a big deal, but the guy next to you keeps dipping his chips in your arm."
A mother went into a coma after giving birth to twins
When she woke up after 6 months and 3 days, the doctor told the mother: "While you were in a coma, we had your brother name your children. One is a boy, one is a girl."
The mother, with a disappointed and angry look on her face told the doctor: "Why my brother? That guy is an idiot. So what did he name them?"
The mother, expecting hideous names, prepared herself.
"The girl, was named Denise." The mother thought, "Hey that wasn't so bad. What about my boy?"
The doctor said, "Denephew".
Fooling Around On Me?
A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.
He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."
When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"
His wife confessed, "Not this time."