Hi Point Jokes
12 hi point jokes and hilarious hi point puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hi point that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Hi Point Jokes With Friends
Hi Point Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good hi point joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
OMG!!! I was sitting in the Nordstrom bathroom stall
And had just sat down when a voice in the next stall over said Hi! How are
You?? . Embarrased, I said I'm fine? . The voice continued So what are you up to?? I said Just sitting here like you! Then the voice says Can I come over?? Thoroughly annoyed and somewhat alarmed at this point I said sorry I'm kind of busy right now! .
Suddenly the voice says loudly Sorry I'm going to have to call you back - there's some idiot next to me answering all my questions.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chad's wife decided to surprise him on his birthday
and to show him that she's a cool wife, she took him to a s**... club.
At the club:
Bouncer: Hi Chad! How you doing tonight?
Wife: How does he know you?
Chad: We play golf together!
Bartender: Evening Chad! The usual?
Wife: And how does he know you?!
Chad: Um, he's on the bowling team!
Hot blonde stripper: Hey s**..., champagne room again tonight?
At this point the wife loses it and storms out of the club, dragging Chad with her, into a taxi.
Taxi driver: Hey Chad! Boy... You picked a fat one tonight huh? Same motel?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Went to the Dad Bar the other night...
It was a slow night. There was only the bartender and few other dads sitting at the bar.
I walked up to the bar and the bartender greeted me, "How are ya?"
I replied, "I am thirsty."
Everyone shouted out, "Hi Thirsty!"
The bartender continued pointing to the other patrons, "and this is 'Starving, Tired, and uh...h**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Definition of a good date
Three female room mates come back from three different dates, the first two arrived at the same time, both with miserable looks on their faces. They asked each other how their dates were.
"Terrible," said the first, "he wouldn't stop talking about himself. I nearly fell asleep in my meal."
"Well mine was no better." Said the second. "She took me to a horrible dive bar and a fight broke out. Mood. Killed."
At this point the door opened and the third roommate walked in.
"Hi. How was your date? I hope to god it was better than ours."
The third roommate reached under her skirt, took off her p**... and slapped them against the wall, where they stuck.
"Yup."
The Perks of Being Rich
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, I am very rich. Marry me! That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, He's very rich. Marry him. That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me. That's Telemarketing.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, I'm rich. Marry me! She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That's Customer Feedback.
This could happen to you.
This could happen to you.
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know
what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doing' just fine!"
And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"
What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too
bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear
another question.
"Can I come over?"
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be
polite and end the conversation. I tell them
"No.......I'm a little busy right now!!!"
Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who
keeps answering all my questions."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 gunmen died from a car c**......
... when the devil shows up, and holds up a key. He says 'I will let one of you go, if you get this key.'
The three men look at each other, and realize that if any one of them were to take it, the other two would shoot them. So they agree to have a duel - each of them can choose a weapon for the duel, and they agree to shoot at 10 paces.
'I'll take this one' said the first gunman, grabbing a large p**... with a lot of rounds.
'I want this one!' said the second, taking one with a laser pointer.
'Ummm... That one!' said the third, who grabbed a lasso.
The others stare at him in disbelief, but let hi choose it anyway.
They place the key on top of a little mound of rock, and each take 10 steps from that rock. Then the instant they do, they take aim. Not caring about the third gunman, the first gunman points his gun at the second, and the second at the first. They look viciously into each others eyes.
Then they look at the third gunman, who's disappeared with the key.
The farmer's daughters
A farmer's three daughters are going on a date the same night. Being the protective father that he is, the father insisted that he meet all three of his daughter's dates before sending them off. The first guy shows up and the farmer answers the door, brandishing his shotgun.
"H-hi sir, my name's Joe, I'm taking your daughter to the show, and I'll get her when she's good to go".
Satisfied, the farmer lets his oldest daughter go. The next guy arrives, and again the farmer answers the door with shotgun in hand.
"M-my name's Eddie, we're grabbin' spaghetti, I'll take her when she's ready".
The farmer nods and lets his second oldest go. The third one arrives, and once again has a shotgun pointed at his face.
"My name's Chuck-"
BLAM!
It's date night for the farmer's daughters...
Being the protective father that he is, the father insisted that he meet all three of his daughter's dates before sending them off. The first guy shows up and the farmer is at the door, with shotgun at the ready.
"H-hi sir, my name's Joe, I'm taking your daughter to the show, and I'll get her when she's good to go".
Satisfied, the farmer lets his oldest daughter go. The next guy arrives, and again the farmer answers the door with shotgun in hand.
"M-my name's Eddie, we're grabbin' spaghetti, I'll take her when she's ready".
The farmer nods and lets his second oldest go. The third one arrives, and once again has a shotgun pointed at his face.
"My name's Chuck-"
BLAM!
A guy was barely sitting down in the toilet when
he heard a voice from the other stall saying: 'Hi, how are you? '
Not being the type to start a conversation in the restroom, he answered, somewhat embarrassed, ' Doin ' just fine! '
And the other person says:
' So what are you up to? '
What kind of question is that? At that point, he was thinking this is too bizarre so he said: ' Uhhh, I ' m like you, just sitting here. '
At this point he was just trying to get out as fast as he could when he heard another question: ' Can I come over? '
Ok, the question was just too weird and he figured he could politely end the conversation by saying: 'No........I ' m a little busy right now!!! '
Then the person said, nervously:
'Listen, I ' ll have to call you back. There ' s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!! '...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"The watch"
My dad just reminded me of this old classic!
Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?" Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says. "Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger. Jake brightens a little. "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropolitan areas. He hits a few b**... and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more b**... and the same voice said something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding. The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all," says Jake. He pushes a few more b**... and a tiny but very hi-resolution, map of New York City appears on the display. "The flashing dot shows our location by satellite positioning," explains Jake. "View recede ten," Jake says, and the display changes to show eastern New York state. "I want to buy this watch!" says the stranger. "Oh, no, it's not ready for sale yet; I'm still working out the bugs, says the inventor. "But look at this," and he proceeds to demonstrate that the watch is also a very creditable little FM radio receiver with a digital tuner, a sonar device that can measure distances up to 125 meters, a pager with thermal paper printout and, most impressive of all, the capacity for voice recordings of up to 300 standard-size books," though I only have 32 of my favorites in there so far" says Jake. "I've got to have this watch!" says the stranger. "No, you don't understand; it's not ready." "I'll give you $1000 for it!" "Oh, no, I've already spent more than -" "I'll give you $5000 for it!" "But it's just not -" "I'll give you $15,000 for it!" And the stranger pulls out a checkbook. Jake stops to think. He's only put about $8500 into materials and development, and with $15,000 he can make another one and have it ready for merchandising in only six months. The stranger frantically finishes writing the check and waves it in front of him. "Here it is, ready to hand to you right here and now. $15,000. Take it or leave it." Jake abruptly makes his decision. "OK," he says, and peels off the watch. They make the exchange and the stranger starts happily away. "Hey, wait a minute," calls Jake after the stranger, who turns around warily. Jake points to the two suitcases he'd been trying to wrestle through the bus station. "Don't forget your batteries.
A joke we tell tourists in china
Back when the Terra-cotta Soldiers were discovered, Bill and Hilary Clinton decided to visit the site. It was also asked of the chinese officials arranging the tour, that the Clintons could meet the meek and old chinese man that discovered the Terra-cotta.
Back then, the Terra-cotta site was out in the province in a small local village. This village was the hometown of the fortunate old chinese man who discovered them and was going to meet POTUS. It also meant he had no education and spoke no english.
So the chinese officials prepared the old chinese discoverer with a few basic english phrases such as:
"hi, how are you"
"Fine, you?"
"Me too"
The day finally came and, naturally, the old chinese discoverer was nervous to be meeting Clinton. None the less he went through the english he was taught in his head and wasn't going to lose face.
Smiling, Clinton approached the old chinese discoverer and said, "Hello"
The chinese discoverer paused briefly to recall, but out of nervousness mispronounced; "Hi, who are you?"
"I am the President of the United States and the husband of this lovely lady," a surprised Clinton said while pointing at his wife.
"Me too," he replied
Share These Hi Point Jokes With Friends