Heterosexual Jokes
31 heterosexual jokes and hilarious heterosexual puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heterosexual that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Heterosexual Short Jokes
Short heterosexual jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The heterosexual humour may include short bisexual jokes also.
- Caitlyn Jenner decathlon joke Caitlyn Jenner recently confirmed that when she won the decathlon gold medal, she was, in fact, absolutely 100 heterosexual.
She wanted to set the record straight. - My vegetarianism is the same as my heterosexuality I'll stick by it until I'm shown a good enough sausage
- My music teacher constructed a piece for heterosexual killer whales. That's something I wouldn't know how to orca straight.
- How many heterosexual males does it take to screw in a light bulb in San Francisco? Both of them.
- Apparently, lesbian relationships are twice as likely to be physically violent than heterosexual relationships That's because there's twice as many instigators
- Politically correct 21st century equality the game. White, heterosexual, cisgender people not included in this product.
- I think there is something wrong with my TV. An advert has just come on with a white , married heterosexual couple in it.
- TIL : There are several states in the United States Of America that enforce death penalty for homosexuals and heterosexuals, and bisexuals.
- Heard in a movie.. What is the difference between a mustache on a heterosexual guy and a mustache on a homosexual guy?
The smell... - What did the trans-gender, pan-s**..., gender-fluid ogre say to the heterosexual male ogre? Shrek your privilege!
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Heterosexual One Liners
Which heterosexual one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with heterosexual? I can suggest the ones about homosexuality and straight people.
- When does a heterosexual man leave a gay bar? Straight away.
- Heterosexual women are just like spaghetti.... They're straight, until they get wet.
- What do you call a heterosexual Native American? Straight savage, my dude.
- How can you be both heterosexual and not straight? Have Scoliosis
- Heterosexual pride day? That's a holiday I can not get behind
- How do you confuse a heterosexual person? Eleven
- Did you hear about the Heterosexual Gunslinger? He was a real straight shooter
- Why was the heterosexual kicked off the swim team? He wasn't flambuoyant enough.
- Did you know Socrates wasn't heterosexual? He was questioning.
- Do you know what gay men like to do most that heterosexual men do? Using the men's room.
- A guy gets his head transplanted with a woman's body... We call him a trans heterosexual.
- What do you call a man with a f**... for gold diggers? Heterosexual.
Happy Heterosexual Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about heterosexual you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean straight man jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make heterosexual pranks.
r**... Logic Joke
Two r**..., Hunter and c**... decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.
"What's logic?" the c**... asked.
The counselor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a w**... eater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the counselor.
"That's real good!" said c**....
The counselor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, c**... said, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"
c**... was catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the counselor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"
c**..., proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Hunter was still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked Hunter.
"Math, history, and logic!" replied c**....
"What in tarnation is logic?" asked Hunter.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a w**... eater?" asked c**....
"No," Hunter replied.
"Then you're gay."
Yokel Logic
Two country types are sitting outside a university, when a man comes out. One of them stands up, and goes over to talk to this man.
He says ''Ello there, son. You look loike one of them clever university toipes. What is it that you're studyin' then?'
The man, slightly stunned, says, 'I study Mathematics, Physics and Logic'
The country dude says 'Oo- arr, logic, what's that then?'
The Student replies, 'I could teach you it.'
'Okay then.'
'So', says the student, 'you look like a country type. I'm going to guess that you have a tractor?'
'Yep'
'And if you have a tractor, then surely you have... a yard, to keep your tractor in?'
'Arr'
'So in turn, surely you have a house next to that yard?'
'Wow, incredible, go on!'
'And taking care of that big house must be awfully hard on your own- so you must have a wife to help out with it?'
'Moi god...'
'And because you live with your wife, I'm going to conclude that you're a heterosexual!'
'Oh lord...' says the farmer. 'How did you know all that?'
'That's logic, my friend', says the student, and he walks off with a cheerful wave.
The yokel runs over to his friend to show off his newfound learnings.
''Ere, Oi've got somethin' to show ya! It's called 'Logic'', he shouts.
'Alroight then', says the friend
'So, do you have a tract'r?'
'No'
'Then you're Gay!'
Closet case
I am a closet heterosexual.
My wife and kids don't know I actually have s**... occasionally.
They've discovered King Kong was indeed heterosexual...
...it was b**... that killed the beast.
o**... donation study reaches same conclusions as earlier study on GMO's
Studies have shown a strong correlation between the s**... identity of patients and whether they're able to accept various different donor organs. In particular, the bodies of aggressively heterosexual patients tend to reject donor organs.
As with studies earlier this year on genetically modified crops, researchers concluded from this data that straight men don't like trans plants.
