Herman Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home.

"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, Please be careful!"

Herman said, "It's not just one car. There's hundreds of them!"

A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day.

A gang of snails approach him and beat him up. Herman is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant's office.

"What happened to you? the officer asks.
"A gang of snails beat me up," Herman replied.
"Can you describe what they looked like?"

"I don't know," the sloth says. "It all happened so fast."

You're in the Army Now

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a South Alabama man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

Why did Pee Wee Herman win the annual bass fishing contest?

Experts say it's because he was a master baiter.

In 1991,

Pee Wee Herman was arrested for masturbating in a movie theater. What a lot of people do not realize is that he represented himself in court, believing he could get himself off.

You really can't blame Pee Wee Herman for what he did...

I mean, it's not like he could just do it at home with all of his furniture watching him..

Periodic abstinence as contraception can be successful, provided one meets three very strict conditions:

1. The woman must have a very regular menstrual cycle.
2. You must be able to count well.
3. And you must really love children.

Loosely translated from Herman Finkers. My favorite dutch comedian.

All this fuss over a film being stored on DNA

But when Pee Wee Herman tried to do the opposite, everybody lost their minds?

Yesterday, Bill Clinton endorsed Newt Gingrich's immigration policy

Today he's endorsing Herman Cain's domestic policy.

Two guys famous for having been shot in theaters . . .

. . . Abraham Lincoln, and the guy sitting in front of Peewee Herman

What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Peewee Herman have in common?

They were both caught with hands in their drawers.

Another sexual assault allegation against

Pee-wee Herman, he apparently sexually assaulted Anthony Weiner in a movie theater.

You can divide women in two groups

But I advise you not to do this...

(Courtesy of Herman Finkers, Dutch comedian)

What are the funniest herman jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Herman? Well, here are the best Herman puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Herman pick up lines to share with friends.

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