The Best 15 Heres Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Heres jokes. There are some heres sidenote jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these heres muthafucka puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Heres Jokes and Puns
One boy tell the other: "There is an easy way to get what you want"
The other boy said, "How?"
"Tell people you know their secret"
The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!"
The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10"
The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!"
The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15"
The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!"
The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come, give your dad a hug!"
Heres a bit of advice:
advi
Heresy
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"
"Religious."
"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"
"Christian."
"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"
To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
~Emo Philips
Put all your disgusting jokes here.
Heres one: Jimmy is playing in his room when a wormhole opens up and Jimmy 30 years from now gets out.
Younger Jimmy says,' Wow! What do I become when I grow up?'
'A pedophile' Older Jimmy says as he locks the door.
Clever yo mama jokes
The title says it all.
Heres one:
Yo mama so fat that light bends around her.
So heres one.
So a teenager walks into a store in the mall to buy a hat. He asks for what size he should get. The store manager tells him most of the hats are one size fits all. Just then a screaming toddler walks in followed by a young girl. The boy looks at them, turns to the store manager and says "that's what they said about the condom."
I lost half my weight in under a week, and heres how you can too!
By stepping on a landmine.
A Jewish kid goes up to his dad...
Son: "Hey papa?"
Father: "Yes, ma' boy?"
Son: "I met this beautiful girl at temple today. I want to take her out. Can I borrow fifty bucks?
Father: "Forty bucks? What the heck are you gonna do with thirty bucks? Do I look like I have twenty bucks heres fifteen now take ten and bring me back five."
Heres a two word joke
Dwarf shortage.
Heres a good knee slapper
my life
Heres a sentence you've never heard.
Hello. I'm a mute.
You can explore heres here reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean heres dumbest dad jokes. There are also heres puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What was the name of Hitler's Political Party: A, B, C, or D?
Heres a hint: It's not C!
Heres a skate joke I just though up, i think you might appreciate it ;)
Ingredients
1 Roll up
180º Bs Turn
Land middle of deck on coping
1 Roll away
That's a recipe for "diasaster"
heres a funny one
Ctrl V
Heres a spooky joke I heard long ago: What's a skeletons favorite instrument?
Nothing! What did you expect they're dead and so is this joke!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the heres psst jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working heres fyi piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.