Herding Jokes
42 herding jokes and hilarious herding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about herding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the comedic potential of activities associated with herding. Discover jokes related to herding animals such as sheep, goats, and cats, as well as the herding dogs that help keep them in line. Gain insight into the humorous side of the job of a herder!
Quick Jump To
- Short Herding Jokes
- Herding One Liners
- Sheep Herding Jokes
- Herding Dog Jokes
- Herding Cats Jokes
- More Herding Jokes
Funniest Herding Short Jokes
Short herding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The herding humour may include short shepherd jokes also.
- "I love my job!" said the farmer "All you do is boss me around all day!" said one of his sheep.
"What did you say?" said the farmer.
"You herd me." - Marital Argument A husband and wife had been arguing all day. They pass a herd of jackasses. The wife says "relatives of yours?" Husband says, "yep, in laws."
- A German Shepherd and a Sheep are out on a date... German Shepherd: "What do you mean I'm too controlling?!"
Sheep: "You herd me." - Two cows on a hill. One cow ask the other, have you herd of the mad cow disease? The other cow says, yeah, but why do I care? I'm a helicopter!
- "Look! A flock of cows!" "Look! A flock of cows!"
"Herd."
"What was that?"
"Herd of cows..."
"Well of course I've heard of cows."
There's a whole flock of them right over there!" - A joke I just invented (I think!) I think lying face down in the middle of a herd of cows deserves a pat on the back.
- This is my all time favorite joke Old man: I love my job
Young boy: all you do is round up sheep
Old man: what did you say to me?
Young boy: you herd - What do you do for a living? I herd cattle. Ah, you're a rancher?
No, I'm a Zumba instructor. - I just finished the book my friend gifted me on herd mentality. But I haven't read the reviews yet so I don't know if I like it.
- A herd of sheep walks into a bar. One of the sheep says "A round of beers, please."
The bartender says "Okay, so that's one, two, three, four.... five..... six.......
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz........."
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Herding One Liners
Which herding one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with herding? I can suggest the ones about grazing and shepherd and sheep.
- What do you call a stampeding herd of Llama? THE ALPACALYPSE
- What do you call a group of deaf people? I don't know. But it is definitely not herd.
- Why can't you keep a secret from cattle? They herd
- SpaceX to launch ten cows up into orbit It'll be the herd shot around the world.
- What do you call a herd of sheep tumbling down a mountain? A lambslide.
- What did the insolent sheep mumble to the shepherd? You herd me.
- Your momma's so fat She achieved herd immunity by herself
- Yo mama is so fat When she took the vaccine she got herd immunity
- Bobby told Billy he stopped a stampede. That was the biggest bunch of bull he ever herd.
- NASA launches bovines into space It was the herd shot round the world!
- Why was the herd of well-sighted deer so smart? It was full of good eye deers.
- WHAT DO WE WANT? HERD IMMUNITY! AND WHEN DO WE WANT TO HEAR IT?
(Ok, I see myself out) - What did the sheep say to her abusive shepherd? You're herding me.
- My dad grew up herding sheep in Germany He was a German shepherd.
- What do you get when a herd of elephants tramples Batman and Robin? Flatman and Ribbon.
Sheep Herding Jokes
Here is a list of funny sheep herding jokes and even better sheep herding puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A farmer and his dog are herding sheep. They finish and his dog says "I have counted 40 sheep".
The farmer replies, "That's odd. I only got 37 ".
The dog replies "Well, I rounded them up". - Why do sheep not get covid? They have herd immunity.
- I love jokes about sheep dogs.. I won't be satisfied until I've herd them all.
- A farmer said to his friend, 'I love my job' The friend, unimpressed, replied 'Why, all you do is round up sheep!'
'What did you just say to me?!'
'You herd' - A shepherd was looking for a sheep that ran away Forget it, you've already herd this one.
- What did the sheep say to the sheepdog faking deafness? "You herd me!"
- Sheepdogs aren't used to herd sheep in Germany They use German Shepherds instead
- Two sheep are talking - It seems to me that a man and a dog are working together.
- If you don't drop your ridiculous conspiracy theories the whole herd will laugh at you. - "You can make alot of money nowadays by being a Shepherd and taking care of herds of Sheep. What do you think about that?!" "Meh"
- What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep? I herd that.
Herding Dog Jokes
Here is a list of funny herding dog jokes and even better herding dog puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm not sure how to feel about this... but I was sold a herding dog for my cantaloupe patch. He's a little melon-collie.
- Feel like nobody listens to you? Feel like nobody listens to you?
Get a cattle dog they totally herd you. - What do you call a large group of tan and black dogs passing through Deutschland? A German Shep·herd
Herding Cats Jokes
Here is a list of funny herding cats jokes and even better herding cats puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a big cat disguised to blend in with a herd of sheep? A sheopard.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Herding Jokes
What funny jokes about herding you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean farming jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make herding pranks.
The guessing game
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown.
She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
\- "Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
\- "I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
\- "Hey lady," says the shepherd, "if I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
"Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
Herding sheep.
A sheep herder is watching his dog herd all their sheep into a pen. The dog finishes and says "Master, I've got all 30 sheep in the pen". The man looks at the sheep, then back to the dog and says "but I only count 26". The dog says "I know, I rounded them up".
A real cowboy?
An old cowboys goes into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. As he sits there sipping his bourbon, a young lady sits down next to him. She turns to the cowboys and asks "Are you a real cowboy?".
He replies "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences and branding cattle, so I guess I am".
She says "That's cool. I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think about women. When I shower or watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women".
The young lady finishes her drink and leaves and soon after a couple sits down next to the cowboy and the man asks him "Are you a real cowboy?".
He replies "Well, I always thought I was but I just found out I'm a lesbian".
A shepherd owned a remarkable dog, deft at sheep herding and able to speak.
At the end of the day, after his dog had herded the flock into the pen, the shepherd asked his canine friend to confirm how many sheep were in.
"40," the dog barked.
"40? I counted 37."
"Yes," replied the dog, "I rounded them up."
They tried to warn us, it's finally happening, minorities herding white people into camps.
Here in Oregon we call them "music festivals"
There are these two cowboys herding some Bulls,
One of them accidentally drops his lasso. The other picks it up and asks "Is this your rope?" To which the other replied, "No, this is America."
Two men are organizing a herd of deer.
Two men are organizing a herd of deer.
Seeing as the had 26 deer, they decided to label each one with a letter of the alphabet. As they're herding them into an enclosure, they realize they only had 25.
One of them's missing, said the first man.
Oh dear.
What did the Middle Eastern sheepherder say when he was asked what animal he was herding
Islam
