Herbs Jokes
91 herbs jokes and hilarious herbs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about herbs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Herbs Short Jokes
Short herbs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The herbs humour may include short herbal jokes also.
- I changed the tags of my mother's herb jars. She hasn't notice it yet.. But the thyme is cumin
- I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.
- I told my wife I'm going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on. She said, Where would you find the time? I said, Easy. Right next to the sage.
- I've been known to give sage advice from time-to-time. Though I do get funny looks for talking to herbs.
- I like to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me 'Where do you find the time?'
I say 'It's right there next to the sage' - I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs Wrong plaice, wrong thyme
- My wife says I get way too overexcited when I cook and that I always end up using too many herbs in my dishes. So she told me to take a thyme out.
- Apparently adding herbs to your garbage can makes it smell better. But I don't have thyme for that rubbish.
- I have a joke about fish and herbs. But I don't think now is the thyme or the plaice to tell it.
- When I do the gardening, I alphabetise my herbs, people often ask how I find the time. I respond with "Easy, Thyme is right between the Tarragon and Turmeric"
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Herbs One Liners
Which herbs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with herbs? I can suggest the ones about herb and spice and herb and fish.
- I spent the afternoon making a belt out of herbs; What a waist of thyme.
- Does Sean Connery like herbs? Yes, but only partially.
- We should move to a herb based fuel economy We can finally make the trains run on thyme.
- Did I ever tell you the joke about my favorite garden herb? No? Well, it's about thyme!
- Did you hear about the man who reviews herbs and spices? I heard he's a seasoned expert.
- I was bored so I made a robot to distribute herbs It helped pass the thyme
- I've finally finished my fresh herb cookbook It's about thyme
- I was going to make a joke about herbs But I don't have the thyme
- Did you hear Gordon Ramsay wrote a book about herbs? It's about thyme!
- I made a belt out of herbs ... what a waist of thyme.
- If you are not able to grow herbs. You should probably give it some thyme.
- I heard that Sean Connery likes to cover his food in herbs. But only partially.
- Growing herbs can be very profitable After all, thyme is money
- Picking herbs is an awful job... ... It's very thyme consuming.
- The herb with the most medicinal properties is Thyme... It heals all wounds.
Herbs And Spices Jokes
Here is a list of funny herbs and spices jokes and even better herbs and spices puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was bored, so I spent all day re-arranging my spice rack, only for one of the herb jars to exploded all over me... I've got way too much thyme on my hands
- My wife left me because, according to her, I talk about herbs and spices too much. Oh well.... It was probably thyme.
- I saw a man drive through my city with a van full of herbs and spices He was a thyme traveler
- I almost completed my collection of herbs and spices today! But i didn't have the thyme.
- My girlfriend and I like to make containers for our herbs and spices She didn't like my cumin herb box though.
- Scientists analysed sweat samples of 100 regular KFC visitors. 11 secrete herbs and spices
- Did you know that there's a wrestling champion for spices and herbs? It is called sumac down.
- TIL Italian scientists in the 1920's discovered they could power engines with common herbs and spices Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.
- What happens when Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams try to make a Destiny's Child song about herbs and spices? Bey Leaves.
- My son used herbs and spices for dinner tonight... I told him to stop as he's not a seasoned professional
11 Herbs Jokes
Here is a list of funny 11 herbs jokes and even better 11 herbs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you get more white girls to eat KFC? With 11 herbs and pumpkin spices
- What would KFC's Soccer team be named? 11 Herbs and Spices
Humorous Herbs Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about herbs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean herbal tea jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make herbs pranks.
I am getting around to writing my essay on herbs for my botany class...
It's about thyme
I once made a belt out of herbs.
It wasn't very useful and just ended up being a waist of thyme.
What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?
"Well, this was a waste of Thyme."
I've never really got the point of herbs and seasoning...
I just think it's a waste of thyme.
An idea for a TV series
It's all about a young Irishman who makes his living collecting seaweed and herbs along the shores of Galway Bay, and his adventures as he travels to all the local town markets to sell them.
Working title: "Duffy the Samphire Purveyor"
A man in Victorian clothes just appeared out of thin air and handed me a fistful of herbs.
I think he might be a Thyme traveller.
I keep my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time.
Easy! It's right next to the sage.
2 weeks building a greenhouse for my herbs only to see it blown away in freak winds
What a waste of thyme!
Why do gardeners hand out their herbs?
To pass the thyme.
My wife told me to go to the store to get some herbs...
I said I have no thyme
My neighbor was very urgent when asking me for herbs.
He said that he was running out of thyme.
I got my fortune told by someone using herbs. I'm not sure if any of the predictions were accurate.
Only thyme will tell.
Lovingly slow-cooked over an open flame...
...I served a female deer with herbs to my family at a recent dinner party.
Calling it "Spit-Roasted Dill Doe" was maybe a little unwise.
I was hosting a f**... for my goldfish, and my friend thought it was okay to ask "What herbs should I season which fish with?"
I told him "Come on dude, there's a thyme and plaice."
I was going to make a joke about herbs and fish...
But this is neither the plaice nor the thyme to do so.
If a recipe calls for you to turn off the heat and begin mincing your herbs to add to the dish, that step would be called:
Stop. Hammer thyme.
I spent 2 hours gathering herbs but ended up throwing them out.
It was a waste of thyme.
Just watched a 5-minute video of some guy throwing herbs in the garbage
What a complete waste of thyme
Last night, in bed, my wife asked me to put fresh fish and herbs on her.
I said, "There's a thyme and a plaice for that sort of thing."
I was walking down the street and from a window a p**... of herbs fell on my head...
Im alright, it wasn't a big dill
I spent over 3 hours making a belt out of herbs, but in hindsight...
it's just a waist of thyme.
Have you noticed that some herbs taste much better at Christmas?
It's the most wonderful thyme of the year.
I've been sacked from my job as a chef after spending every shift chopping herbs instead of cooking meals.
They couldn't be dealing with thyme wasters.
Too Much
My friend filled an entire swimming pool up with herbs.
He had a lot of thyme on his hands.
Tonight I made salmon for supper
As it was gently cooking in a warm bath of garlic, herbs, lemon, wine, and onion I got a visit from a Fish and Wildlife officer. He said sir we have reason to believe that salmon has been poached
Sorry to anyone who felt my joke about herbs and fish was inappropriate.
I realise there's a thyme and a plaice for these things...
A couple goes to therapy
A couple goes to therapy to discuss their issues.
The therapist asks. So, why are we here today?
The husband quickly try to explain.
So what happened was, that I was cleaning up in the kitchen, while putting something away I spilled a bunch of dried herbs all over the place. My wife then yells for help with folding the sheets in the bedroom and I simply replied.
"I can't right now, I have too much thyme on my hands"
Did you hear about the guy who owned the Earth's supply of herbs?
He had all the thyme in the world
An ancient Chinese joke, at least a thousand years old.
A man visits his sick friend, and finds him to now be well and energetic. "How wonderful!", his friend says, "What happened?". "Dr. Chang is the cause of my health.", he says gratefully. "Dr. Chang, what did he do?". "Well, Dr. Li came and gave me a special diet. And I got sicker. Then Dr. Wong came and gave me bitter herbs, and I got even worse. On death's door I called for Dr. Chang." "And what did Dr. Chang do?", his friend asks in wonder. The man replies happily, "Dr. Chang did the best of all, he didn't come, so I got well!"
Did you see the movie about the dinosaurs that couldn't find the herbs?
It was the land before thyme.
I have a suspicion that certain herbs can talk...
Only thyme will tell.
I've always wondered why my local grocery store has trouble keeping the herbs stocked.
I guess there's just never enough thyme.
To deal with the high price of petroleum, public transport systems are looking at alternative fuels, including grasses and herbs.
The program has had some failures, but on the bright side at least the trains run on thyme.
I've got a really good joke about a fish and some herbs
But it neither the Thyme nor the Plaice
When I am bored I enjoy rubbing dried herbs into my palms.
I have way too much Thyme on my hands.
I really need to plant some herbs of my own as soon as possible.
I'm living on borrowed thyme.
I want to tell you a joke about some herbs and fish
But this is neither the thyme or the plaice
Out of all of Aesop's Fables, my favorite is the one about the herbs
It's a thyme-less tale that ends with some really sage advice.
I'll take a 6 inch Meatball marinara on Italian herbs and cheese please
Actually, make it a 6 inch Spicy Italian on Herbs and cheese.
[EDIT] Sorry, wrong sub
Why should you sparingly put herbs on fish?
Because there is a thyme and a plaice for it
The Queen of France is asked by her chef what she would like her and the rest of the court to eat for dinner
"I would like to eat cheese", she said.
"Which kind of cheese?", asked the chef?
"I would like soft French cheese with garlic and herbs", replied the queen. "And there is one more thing I must insist on".
"Anything my Queen. What is it?", replied the chef.
"It is very important that I do not eat from the same piece of cheese as the rest of court.", said the Queen.
"Oh I see how it is", exclaimed the chef. "It's one roule for you, and another for everyone else".
