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Herb Jokes

93 herb jokes and hilarious herb puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about herb that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh your thyme away with this hilarious collection of jokes about herbs and spices. From cumin puns to creative fish and chard one-liners, this collection of herb jokes will have you in stitches. Whether you're a cookbook author or a good herb enthusiast, you'll find something to enjoy in this entertaining compilation.

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Funniest Herb Short Jokes

Short herb jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The herb humour may include short vegetable jokes also.

  1. I changed the tags of my mother's herb jars. She hasn't notice it yet.. But the thyme is cumin
  2. I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.
  3. I told my wife I'm going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on. She said, Where would you find the time? I said, Easy. Right next to the sage.
  4. I've been known to give sage advice from time-to-time. Though I do get funny looks for talking to herbs.
  5. I like to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me 'Where do you find the time?'
    I say 'It's right there next to the sage'
  6. I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs Wrong plaice, wrong thyme
  7. My wife says I get way too overexcited when I cook and that I always end up using too many herbs in my dishes. So she told me to take a thyme out.
  8. Apparently adding herbs to your garbage can makes it smell better. But I don't have thyme for that rubbish.
  9. I have a joke about fish and herbs. But I don't think now is the thyme or the plaice to tell it.
  10. When I do the gardening, I alphabetise my herbs, people often ask how I find the time. I respond with "Easy, Thyme is right between the Tarragon and Turmeric"

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Herb One Liners

Which herb one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with herb? I can suggest the ones about plant and germ.

  1. I spent the afternoon making a belt out of herbs; What a waist of thyme.
  2. Does Sean Connery like herbs? Yes, but only partially.
  3. We should move to a herb based fuel economy We can finally make the trains run on thyme.
  4. Did I ever tell you the joke about my favorite garden herb? No? Well, it's about thyme!
  5. Did you hear about the man who reviews herbs and spices? I heard he's a seasoned expert.
  6. I was bored so I made a robot to distribute herbs It helped pass the thyme
  7. I've finally finished my fresh herb cookbook It's about thyme
  8. I was going to make a joke about herbs But I don't have the thyme
  9. Did you hear Gordon Ramsay wrote a book about herbs? It's about thyme!
  10. I made a belt out of herbs ... what a waist of thyme.
  11. If you are not able to grow herbs. You should probably give it some thyme.
  12. I heard that Sean Connery likes to cover his food in herbs. But only partially.
  13. Growing herbs can be very profitable After all, thyme is money
  14. Picking herbs is an awful job... ... It's very thyme consuming.
  15. The herb with the most medicinal properties is Thyme... It heals all wounds.

Thyme Herb Jokes

Here is a list of funny thyme herb jokes and even better thyme herb puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I've got a really good joke about a fish and some herbs But it neither the Thyme nor the Plaice
  • I really need to plant some herbs of my own as soon as possible. I'm living on borrowed thyme.
  • What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs? "Well, this was a waste of Thyme."
  • I spent over 3 hours making a belt out of herbs, but in hindsight... it's just a waist of thyme.
  • I was going to make a joke about herbs and fish... But this is neither the plaice nor the thyme to do so.
  • I got my fortune told by someone using herbs. I'm not sure if any of the predictions were accurate. Only thyme will tell.
  • I was bored, so I spent all day re-arranging my spice rack, only for one of the herb jars to exploded all over me... I've got way too much thyme on my hands
  • My neighbor was very urgent when asking me for herbs. He said that he was running out of thyme.
  • My wife left me because, according to her, I talk about herbs and spices too much. Oh well.... It was probably thyme.
  • Did you see the movie about the dinosaurs that couldn't find the herbs? It was the land before thyme.

Herb And Spice Jokes

Here is a list of funny herb and spice jokes and even better herb and spice puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I saw a man drive through my city with a van full of herbs and spices He was a thyme traveler
  • I almost completed my collection of herbs and spices today! But i didn't have the thyme.
  • My girlfriend and I like to make containers for our herbs and spices She didn't like my cumin herb box though.
  • Scientists analysed sweat samples of 100 regular KFC visitors. 11 secrete herbs and spices
  • Did you know that there's a wrestling champion for spices and herbs? It is called sumac down.
  • TIL Italian scientists in the 1920's discovered they could power engines with common herbs and spices Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.
  • What happens when Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams try to make a Destiny's Child song about herbs and spices? Bey Leaves.
  • My son used herbs and spices for dinner tonight... I told him to stop as he's not a seasoned professional
  • How do you get more white girls to eat KFC? With 11 herbs and pumpkin spices
  • The evil Herbs & Spices organization has assembled their last member and has finally taken over the world... It was only a matter of Thyme.
Herb joke, The evil Herbs & Spices organization has assembled their last member and has finally taken over the

Herb And Fish Jokes

Here is a list of funny herb and fish jokes and even better herb and fish puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Sorry to anyone who felt my joke about herbs and fish was inappropriate. I realise there's a thyme and a plaice for these things...
  • Last night, in bed, my wife asked me to put fresh fish and herbs on her. I said, "There's a thyme and a plaice for that sort of thing."
  • Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop? Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice.
  • Why should you sparingly put herbs on fish? Because there is a thyme and a plaice for it
  • I want to tell you a joke about some herbs and fish But this is neither the thyme or the plaice
  • When it comes to cooking herb-crusted fish... ...there's a thyme and a plaice.
  • I was trying to think of a pun about herbs and fish but it was neither the thyme nor plaice. but it was neither the thyme nor plaice
  • I was hosting a f**... for my goldfish, and my friend thought it was okay to ask "What herbs should I season which fish with?" I told him "Come on dude, there's a thyme and plaice."
  • I was at a f**... the other day and a couple in front of me were loudly arguing about which herb goes best with which fish… I could only think it wasn't the Thyme or Plaice…

Good Herb Jokes

Here is a list of funny good herb jokes and even better good herb puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A woman once claimed she could hit me from across the kitchen with a fancy bottle of herbs. I told her not to threaten me with a good thyme.
  • Did you know that herbs are a good fuel source? Yes, Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.
Herb joke, Did you know that herbs are a good fuel source?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about herb can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of herb puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Herb Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about herb you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean garden weed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make herb prank.

What's Gemma Teller's favorite herb?

Taragon

Herbal Doctors,

someone should tell them Thyme Doesn't heal all wounds.

My friend told me that my herb garden looks like a mullet.

I keep the basil in the front and the parsley in the back.

Herb was diagnosed with cancer.

It was a basil-cell carcinoma.

An Italian herb seller gets a loan from the mafia.

Two weeks later, the boss walks in for his payment. Unable to pay his debt, the herb seller pleads for his life.
"Please sir, give me one more week!" he exclaims.
"No," responds the boss, "your thyme is up."

I asked a friend of mine what it was like being a herb farmer....

...He said its not so bad and that he had a lot of thyme on his hands.

j**... sat proudly on his hazey steed

"Look at this!" He said, "I gave my horse a few puffs of the good herb, and he still managed to climb this towering mountain!"
"Get off your high horse, j**...." I replied.

What basic skill do herb farmers always struggle with?

Thyme management

I've decided to start my own herb garden.

I've got a lot of extra Thyme.

I keep my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time.

Easy! It's right next to the sage.

I grew a massive herb in my garden.

I told all of my family and friends about it but none of them thought it was a big dill.

You know what they say about herbal medicine...

Thyme heals all wounds.

What do you call an herb that sings?

Elvis Parsley.

Why are most herbivores colorblind?

They grays.

The Heart-Shaped Herb has been responsible for granting superhuman powers to every King of Wakanda in the line.

It blessed the reigns down in Africa.

What's a blind pothead's favorite herb?

Seaweed

If you get helpful tips from a man called Herb...

Is it sage advice?

Want to know why Herbert Hoover was my favorite president?

Because he actually gave a dam.

What's a postman's favourite herb?

Parcel-y

How did the vegetarian s**... like his pizza?

Herbivore, and herb after.

What is the most popular herb in Asia?

Koreander.

What do you call a funny herb?

Sillyantro

My best friend was a chef. He called last week to say that he found a hidden message in his herb and spice rack. He was quite paranoid and later that day he was found dead.

I should have believed him when he said his Thyme was running out.

A chef asks an employee to grab him some cilantro

He quickly grabs the herb and returns to his boss. When he returns the chef is busy doing something and can't take the cilantro right away.
Give me a second, he says
Take your time, the employee responds patiently.
The chef snaps back I told you to give me a second! Also I asked for cilantro!

She handed me a jar and said, "This herb goes well with pork, beef, duck and chicken recipes, and fatty meats in particular."

I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."

Why are herbivores atheist?

Cuz they don't prey

What is the best herb to give your lover?

A BAE leaf

What did Herb say when Rosemary knocked at the door?

Cumin

I went to an herbalist looking for wisdom.

All he gave me was *sage* advice.

What's the best herbal remedy for cuts and scrapes?

Thyme. It heals all wounds

What's Bruce Buffer's favourite herb?

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's THYME

My herbal addiction is getting out of control. Rosemary, Sage, anything to get that herbal hit. When the money ran out I raided the garden, that's cleared out now. Some friends have been lending me some of theirs, but it's not enough to keep me going.

I'm just living on borrowed thyme.

I went to Nintendo to pitch them my idea for a new Zelda game where Link is an herb trader…

They told me it was Hylian likely that they would make the Hero of Thyme.

I heard U.S. Senator Herb Kohl once wrote a bill that would standardize the ratios of carrots, mayonnaise, and cabbage in his favorite side dish.

He called it Kohl's Law.

I'm a new person. I've changed my name and became a vegetarian .

I'm still getting used to it, I wasn't a herb before.

What do call a man with no arms or legs in a cupboard?

Herb

Herb joke, Did I ever tell you the joke about my favorite garden herb?

jokes about herb

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these herb jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.