The Best 35 Her Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Her jokes. There are some her jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these her puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Her Jokes and Puns

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight...

There would be mass confusion.

TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask

Whoops, wrong sub

The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her

I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

**"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

Edit1: a typo

Edit2: thanks for the gold humorous stranger!

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a worm?

One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.


I asked my wife if I was the only one she's been with.

She said, "Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights".

As an Aussie, Americans are always asking me where in Australia there *isn't* something trying to kill you...

School is my answer

My favourite sex position is called "WOW" ...

It's where I flip your MOM over

If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases should have no reaction.

A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?

The guy replies, "Well that was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.

The man says back, "That's terrible, but couldn't you get another close family member to come with you?

The guy says, "No. They're all at the funeral."

A man in an interrogation room says I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.

Cop: You are the lawyer.

Lawyer: Exactly, so where's my present?

You can explore her reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean her dad jokes. There are also her puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."

Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."

I saw a girl crying, so I asked her Where are your parents? and she started crying even more.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

β€Œβ€ŒOur wβ€Œβ€Œhole fβ€Œβ€Œamily iβ€Œβ€Œs rβ€Œβ€Œeally wβ€Œβ€Œorried aβ€Œβ€Œbout mβ€Œβ€Œy gβ€Œβ€Œrandfather's Vβ€Œβ€Œiagra aβ€Œβ€Œddiction.

Grandma iβ€Œβ€Œs tβ€Œβ€Œaking iβ€Œβ€Œt pβ€Œβ€Œarticularly hβ€Œβ€Œard.

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."
Β 

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."

"Mom, I'm dating a man."

"Whom, sweetheart?"

"Mike the mailman."

"Mike the mailman? But he could be your father!"

"But mom, age is just a number."

"Sweetheart, I don't think you understood."

​

Breaking: Donald Trump has just won another state.

Denial.

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

My boss: You're fired.

Me: *turns in gun and badge*

My boss: You're a waiter where did you get those


My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre

I had the best Dad moment last night... *actual conversation with my 8 year old*

Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?

Me: Two. You have two, son.

Son: Nope... I have four. *point to belly* Two kidneys here... *points to legs* ...and two kid knees here!

The student has become the teacher.

An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"

"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff.
The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."

Me: What's the wifi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.

Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?

Me: Sure. How much is that?

Bartender: $3.

Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.

'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.'

'But I never went to college.'
'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'

Vegans think butchers are gross

But people who sell vegetables and fruits are grocer

My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it's flat!

In the end, he came around.

My granddad always used to say, As one door closes another one opens.

Lovely man.

Terrible cabinet maker.

Iamonthemoonandthereisnowheretogetabeer.

Thereisnospacebar.

Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros. There needs to be a balance.

A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.

Virginity in school

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

My Jewish friend says this is a non-offensive Holocaust joke

A Holocaust survivor died recently. Goes to Heaven and upon meeting God, he decided to tell a Holocaust joke. Then God said "That's not funny", to which the Jew replied "Oh, I guess you had to be there".

Obama smoked weed growing up, and now look where he is today

Unemployed with two kids and recently evicted

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"

Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.

When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"

Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50

Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes.

Riceless.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the her jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working her piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes