The Best 57 Henry Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Henry jokes. There are some henry elizabeth jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these henry king henry viii puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Henry Jokes and Puns
Why couldn't Henry David Thoreau leave his house?
He was Walden.
Happy Birthday Henry
Old widower Henry is celebrating his 80th birthday in the retirement home, and his friends decide to hire a hooker to entertain him. So early that evening, a beautiful blond shows up at his door, and says "HI, I'm Susie, and I'm here to give you super sex."
Henry looks her over, thinks for a minute, and says "Eh, I'll take the soup."
Have you heard about Henry the brown-nosed reindeer?
He's just as fast as Rudolf, he just can't stop as quick
Why was William Henry Harrison's inaugural address so memorable?
He had a killer final draft.
Henry Tudor: "I'm going to build a car park in the centre of Leicester."
Richard III: "Over my dead body."
Why did Henry VIII fail his classes?
Because he lost all his Tudors.
Henry Winkler on a plane
Henry Winkler is a passenger on a plane and the flight attendant asks him, "Would you like some headphones?"
He replies, "Yes, that would be very nice, but it's pronounced 'Fonz'."
smart husband
Wife: honey, can i hold henry? (their new baby)
Husband: wait until he cries.
Wife: why??
Husband: because i cant find him!!!!!!
[Pun] Why did Henry invent the assembly line?
He couldn't a-Ford not to.
*bad-dum tish*
Why do people think Henry the Sixth was a Norseman?
Because he was a VI KING.
Ever hear of Henry, Santa's brown nosed reindeer?
He is just as fast as Rodolph but couldn't stop as quickly.
You can explore henry moore reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean henry william dad jokes. There are also henry puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?
Executed.
How did Henry V reload his rifle?
Once more into the breech, dear friends
How did Henry VIIIs wife enter the room?
Amble in
(Anne Boyeyn)
I made this joke up and am very proud of it :)
It's been quite a while since I saw a movie with Jane, Henry, or Bridget
I guess it's true what they say - absence makes the heart grow Fonda.
Henry Heimlich, the inventor of the Heimlich maneuver, passed away today.
People are all choked up about it.
I just heard news that the inventor of the Heimlich Manuever, Henry J. Heimlich, just passed away at 96
I'm still choked up about it.
What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?
They share the same middle name.
Did you hear the one about the two gay Irish dudes?
Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick
When Henry VIII has trouble in school, what does he do?
He hires a Tudor.
Why did Henry VII's bid for the English crown cost so much to insure?
It was a Tudor coup
What do you call a transcendentalist who does a good and complete job?
Henry David Thorough
A man walks into a bar with a white horse...
The barman says to the horse "there's a pub down the road named after you".
The horse replies "what, Henry?"
Why did they put Patrick Henry in a submarine?
Because he said "Give me liberty or give me depth".
My girlfriend and I stole some Henry VIII posters from a second-hand shop.
It was a great free-king time.
What happened to king Henry the VIII's wife's head?
(removed)
You'd think Henry Ford was African
The way he Madagascar
^^^^I'll ^^^^^let ^^^^^^myself ^^^^^^^out
Henry David! Why are you taking so long organizing your notes?
I just want to be Thoreau.
Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ?
He liked to chop and change !
Suspicious email
Just got an email telling me if I invest $1000 with Henry Winkler I will get at least double my money back. Thinking it is some sort of Fonzie scheme.
That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest. -Henry David Thoreau
Masturbation
During the reign of Henry the VIII, what was the favorite game at Windsor Castle?
Queen for a day!
Do you know who created fractions?
I think it was Henry the 1/8.
My wife said I should be treating her like a queen...
I said, only if I can be King Henry the VIII.
What is Pastamania's favorite painter?
Henry *Fusili*
Why did Ottis Toole say to Henry Lee Lucas after he got caught?
I ain't the sharpest Toole in the shed
What do you call two contented gay Irish men?
Henry Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzhenry
In Honor of His First Emmy, My Favorite Henry Winkler Joke
Henry Winkler boards a plane and sits in First Class. The attractive stewardess says, "Would you like a drink?" and he says, "Yes, thank you."
She brings him the drink, and then asks, "Would you like some headphones?"
He says, "Absolutely. But by the way, it's pronounced 'Fonz.'"
Henry Tudor just tweeted....
....that the beheading of Anne Boleyn was an interrogation gone wrong.
How is a gardener like professor Henry Higgins?
they both have a horticulture.
I saw a man on the street dressed as Henry VIII.
He was sitting on the sidewalk asking people for money.
I thought, that can't be right; beggars can't be Tudors?
Why couldn't Henry VIII breath?
He had no heir.
Why didn't 2 of King Henry the VIII's wives give him any head?
They didn't have any head to give
Two English men were debating the titles of their forefathers that had been passed down as their fantastic and very aptly regal Surnames.....
"Books has been our history! Books are our pride! Books for ever!" Said Mr. Henry Wordsworth.
"Pottery is our soul... Pottery is our pride! Pottery is the best!" Said Mr. Douglas Potter.
....but neither of them could look on towards the men of the men himself....
...Mr. DICKINSON
Two snakes are slithering through the desert....
One named Fred, and one named Henry.
Henry turns to Fred and says: Fred, are we the kind of sssssnakes that kill by consssstriction or we the kind of sssssnake that kill with a deadly venomousssss bite?
Fred thinks about it for a second and reply's Henry, we are the kind of sssssnakes that kill by consssstriction.
Henry say oh thank God for that, I just bit my lip.
Why did Henry VIII call an AC repairman?
He wanted air to the throne.
The son of a bitch
Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself...
"2+5, the son of a bitch is 7"
"3+6, the son of a bitch is 9"
His mother heard this & asked, " Henry ! What is this nonsense you are doing?"
"Oh Mom. Don't disturb. I am doing my maths homework"
Mom: "Is this how your teacher taught you?"
"Yes mom "
Infuriated mother picked up her cell phone and called the teacher:
"Are you teaching maths to children by saying... 2+2, the son of a bitch is 4?"
There was silence for a moment
Then the teacher started laughing :
"What I taught them was... 2+2 THE SUM OF WHICH IS 4."
***
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." —Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngman was an English-American comedian and musician famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". 1906 - 1988
When I told my parents my wife had come down with the flu, my Dad said,
"Well have you tried euthanasia?"
In the background I could hear my Mom yell, "For the last time Henry, it's pronounced 'Echinacea'! Echinacea'!!!!
And elderly couple...
hire an attorney and tell him they want to get divorced. He looks at them in shocked disbelief and exclaims, "Henry! Dorothy! You are both in your 90s. You've been married for 72 years. Why do you want a divorce now?"
Dorothy looks him in the eye and says, "It's been awful, but we wanted to wait until the children were dead."
Henry Ford owned a brothel
He packed the brothel with the most beautiful women in Detroit. Any man could come in and take one out on a date. They were known as the Ford Escorts.
My girlfriend's dog sprinted up to us wanting a cuddle.
"I love you, Henry," she said, stroking his fur.
"I love him more than you," I replied.
"I don't think so," she replied, "I definitely love him most."
I said, "You misunderstood me."
Do you know why the unit of feet was once based on the foot of king Henry the 1st?
Cause he was the absolute ruler.
Why was king Henry the 8th terrible at conversations?
He would always cut people off.
A grasshopper walks into a bar
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender sees him and says, "Hey, they named a drink after you!"
"Really?" replies the grasshopper. "There's a drink named Henry?"
I just read a book about how Henry Ford created the Ford Model T.
It was a really interesting auto-biography.
Shouldn't Henry Ford
have written an auto-biography?
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the henry perry jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working henry henry viii piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.