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Henry Jokes

87 henry jokes and hilarious henry puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about henry that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover some of the best Henry jokes of all time, from King Henry VII to Oh Henry! From Horrid Henry to Henry Danger and Charles Moore, we've got jokes that you won't want to miss. Enjoy the laugh and learn something new with these Henry jokes!

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Funniest Henry Short Jokes

Short henry jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The henry humour may include short king henry jokes also.

  1. What do kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common? They share the same middle name.
  2. King henry viii had six wives. He beheaded two of them. Those were his axe wives.
    (this joke is courtesy of my father)
  3. Henry Tudor: "I'm going to build a car park in the centre of Leicester." Richard III: "Over my dead body."
  4. Henry Ford owned a brothel He packed the brothel with the most beautiful women in Detroit. Any man could come in and take one out on a date. They were known as the Ford Escorts.
  5. Did you hear the one about the two gay Irish dudes? Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick
  6. I just heard news that the inventor of the Heimlich Manuever, Henry J. Heimlich, just passed away at 96 I'm still choked up about it.
  7. You'd think Henry Ford was African The way he Madagascar
    ^^^^I'll ^^^^^let ^^^^^^myself ^^^^^^^out
  8. How did Henry VIIIs wife enter the room? Amble in
    (Anne Boyeyn)
    I made this joke up and am very proud of it :)
  9. I just read a book about how Henry Ford created the Ford Model T. It was a really interesting auto-biography.
  10. Do you know why the unit of feet was once based on the foot of king Henry the 1st? Cause he was the absolute ruler.

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Henry One Liners

Which henry one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with henry? I can suggest the ones about henry viii and hawk.

  1. What happened to king Henry the VIII's wife's head? (removed)
  2. What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler? Executed.
  3. I'm currently reading a book about the life of Henry Ford. It's an autobiography.
  4. Why couldn't Henry David Thoreau leave his house? He was Walden.
  5. Why did Henry VIII fail his classes? Because he lost all his Tudors.
  6. Why do people think Henry the Sixth was a Norseman? Because he was a VI KING.
  7. Why was king Henry the 8th terrible at conversations? He would always cut people off.
  8. Why couldn't Henry VIII breath? He had no heir.
  9. When Henry VIII has trouble in school, what does he do? He hires a Tudor.
  10. Why did Henry VIII call an AC repairman? He wanted air to the throne.
  11. Shouldn't Henry Ford have written an auto-biography?
  12. What do you call two contented gay Irish men? Henry Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzhenry
  13. Henry David! Why are you taking so long organizing your notes? I just want to be Thoreau.
  14. [Pun] Why did Henry invent the assembly line? He couldn't a-Ford not to.
    *bad-dum tish*
  15. Why did Henry VII's bid for the English crown cost so much to insure? It was a Tudor coup

Henry Viii Jokes

Here is a list of funny henry viii jokes and even better henry viii puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife said I should be treating her like a queen... I said, only if I can be King Henry the VIII.
  • Did you know King Henry VIII had an insatiable sweet tooth and was particularly fond of honey? It's why two of his wives were bee-headed
  • I saw a man on the street dressed as Henry VIII. He was sitting on the sidewalk asking people for money.
    I thought, that can't be right; beggars can't be Tudors?
  • Why didn't 2 of King Henry the VIII's wives give him any head? They didn't have any head to give
  • My girlfriend and I stole some Henry VIII posters from a second-hand shop. It was a great free-king time.
  • During the reign of Henry the VIII, what was the favorite game at Windsor Castle? Queen for a day!
  • Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ? He liked to chop and change !
  • What did Henry VIII say to his wife? Easier dead than son, huh
  • "How do I remember all of Henry VIII's wives?" my son asked. "There's an easy way," I replied. "Yes, yes, no, maybe when drunk, no, from behind."
  • What was Henry VIII's favorite sport? Anne Bowlin'

King Henry Jokes

Here is a list of funny king henry jokes and even better king henry puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did King Henry V want to do on the last day of his vacation? Once more unto the beach
  • King Henry, Africa called... They want their food back.
  • My friend is such a big fan of the royal Family, each of his four sons are named after a king. **Henry**
    **George**
    **Charles**
    **Burger.**
Henry joke, My friend is such a big fan of the <a href="/royal-jokes.html" title="Royal jokes">royal</a> Family,

Henry Winkler Jokes

Here is a list of funny henry winkler jokes and even better henry winkler puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Suspicious email Just got an email telling me if I invest $1000 with Henry Winkler I will get at least double my money back. Thinking it is some sort of Fonzie scheme.
  • Did you hear about what happened to Henry Winkler He got Eyyyyyyyyyds

Henry Ford Jokes

Here is a list of funny henry ford jokes and even better henry ford puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear that Henry Ford wrote a book? The driving point is that it's auto-biographical.
Henry joke, Did you hear that Henry Ford wrote a book?

Henry Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about henry you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make henry pranks.

Happy Birthday Henry

Old widower Henry is celebrating his 80th birthday in the retirement home, and his friends decide to hire a h**... to entertain him. So early that evening, a beautiful blond shows up at his door, and says "HI, I'm Susie, and I'm here to give you super s**...."
Henry looks her over, thinks for a minute, and says "Eh, I'll take the soup."

Have you heard about Henry the brown-nosed reindeer?

He's just as fast as Rudolf, he just can't stop as quick

Why was William Henry Harrison's inaugural address so memorable?

He had a killer final draft.

Henry Winkler on a plane

Henry Winkler is a passenger on a plane and the flight attendant asks him, "Would you like some headphones?"
He replies, "Yes, that would be very nice, but it's pronounced 'Fonz'."

smart husband

Wife: honey, can i hold henry? (their new baby)
Husband: wait until he cries.
Wife: why??
Husband: because i cant find him!!!!!!

Ever hear of Henry, Santa's brown nosed reindeer?

He is just as fast as Rodolph but couldn't stop as quickly.

How did Henry V reload his rifle?

Once more into the breech, dear friends

It's been quite a while since I saw a movie with Jane, Henry, or Bridget

I guess it's true what they say - absence makes the heart grow Fonda.

Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich maneuver, died today at 96.

Now I'm getting all choked up and it can't be helped.

A man walks into a bar with a white horse...

The barman says to the horse "there's a pub down the road named after you".
The horse replies "what, Henry?"

Why did they put Patrick Henry in a submarine?

Because he said "Give me liberty or give me depth".

That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest. -Henry David Thoreau

m**...

Do you know who created fractions?

I think it was Henry the 1/8.

In Honor of His First Emmy, My Favorite Henry Winkler Joke

Henry Winkler boards a plane and sits in First Class. The attractive stewardess says, "Would you like a drink?" and he says, "Yes, thank you."
She brings him the drink, and then asks, "Would you like some headphones?"
He says, "Absolutely. But by the way, it's pronounced 'Fonz.'"

Henry Tudor just tweeted....

....that the beheading of Anne Boleyn was an interrogation gone wrong.

How is a gardener like professor Henry Higgins?

they both have a horticulture.

Two snakes are slithering through the desert....

One named Fred, and one named Henry.
Henry turns to Fred and says: Fred, are we the kind of sssssnakes that kill by consssstriction or we the kind of sssssnake that kill with a deadly venomousssss bite?
Fred thinks about it for a second and reply's Henry, we are the kind of sssssnakes that kill by consssstriction.
Henry say oh thank God for that, I just bit my lip.

The son of a b**...

Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself...
"2+5, the son of a b**... is 7"
"3+6, the son of a b**... is 9"
His mother heard this & asked, " Henry ! What is this nonsense you are doing?"
"Oh Mom. Don't disturb. I am doing my maths homework"
Mom: "Is this how your teacher taught you?"
"Yes mom "
Infuriated mother picked up her cell phone and called the teacher:
"Are you teaching maths to children by saying... 2+2, the son of a b**... is 4?"
There was silence for a moment
Then the teacher started laughing :
"What I taught them was... 2+2 THE SUM OF WHICH IS 4."
***

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." —Henny Youngman

Henry "Henny" Youngman was an English-American comedian and musician famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". 1906 - 1988

When I told my parents my wife had come down with the flu, my Dad said,

"Well have you tried euthanasia?"
In the background I could hear my Mom yell, "For the last time Henry, it's pronounced 'Echinacea'! Echinacea'!!!!

And elderly couple...

hire an attorney and tell him they want to get divorced. He looks at them in shocked disbelief and exclaims, "Henry! Dorothy! You are both in your 90s. You've been married for 72 years. Why do you want a divorce now?"
Dorothy looks him in the eye and says, "It's been awful, but we wanted to wait until the children were dead."

My girlfriend's dog sprinted up to us wanting a cuddle.

"I love you, Henry," she said, s**... his fur.
"I love him more than you," I replied.
"I don't think so," she replied, "I definitely love him most."
I said, "You misunderstood me."

A grasshopper walks into a bar

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender sees him and says, "Hey, they named a drink after you!"
"Really?" replies the grasshopper. "There's a drink named Henry?"

One day my dad visit a doctor.

Then the doctor starts questioning my dad while filling out a form.
Doctor : "**Name?**"
Dad : "**Henry**"
Doctor : "**Age?**"
Dad : "**E, N, R, Y.**"

Henry joke, My friend is such a big fan of the Royal Family, each of his four sons are named after a king.

jokes about henry