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Henny Youngman Jokes

7 henny youngman jokes and hilarious henny youngman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about henny youngman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Comical & Quirky Henny Youngman Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What is a good henny youngman joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Getting on a plane . . .

. . . I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to LA, and send one to Miami."
She told me, "We can't do that!"
I told her, "Well you did it last week!"

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." —Henny Youngman

Henry "Henny" Youngman was an English-American comedian and musician famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". 1906 - 1988

After 30 years of marriage, people always ask, "What's the secret of keeping the romance alive?" I always tell them...

We go to the same romantic restaurant every week, twice a week...
I go on Tuesday. She goes on Fridays.

What does aa emo Henny Youngman say?

Take my life... please.

The Doctor gave me 6 months to live,

when I told him I couldn't pay the bill......he gave me 6 more months.

This man is frank and earnest with women...

In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.

The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just joined the Israeli army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked, "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, 'Do you want to get a 3 day pass?' So we exchanged tanks!"

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