Helpful Jokes

Funniest Helpful Short Jokes

Short helpful jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The helpful humour may include short helps jokes also.

1. I was browsing in a liquor store when an employee asked me Do you need help? I said, Yes, but I'm here to get whiskey instead.
2. When I drink alcohol, people call me alcoholic. But when I drink fanta, no one calls me or texts me, I'm so lonely, pls help.
3. I asked my wife, I'm stuck on this crossword clue Overworked postman — can you help? She said, Sure. How many letters?
   Me: I'm guessing—- Too many.
4. I just read a list of "100 Things To Do Before You Die". I was pretty surprised that "yell for help" wasn't one of them.
5. Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I don't think I can ever repay you.
6. I got jumped by five black guys in Baltimore... They were real nice. Car started right up, and they even helped me with directions back to the interstate.
7. Librarian: Can I help you? Dave: Yeah, I'm looking for a book about-
   Librarian: Being psychic?
   Dave: No...
   Librarian: One day that will work.
8. My dad is obsessed with The Beatles and is missing just one of their songs from his record collection. He needs Help.
9. Where would you park your camel? The Camelot.
   PS Booze helped with this and now I'm laughing alone in my apartment
10. I helped my neighbour with something this morning and she said, ''I could marry you!'', I couldn't believe it You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return

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Helpful One Liners

Which helpful one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with helpful? I can suggest the ones about supportive and handy.

1. I volunteered to help blind children today! That's a verb not an adjective btw.
2. I help blind kids Verb, not adjective
3. I was thinking the other day ... So I shouted, "Thomeone help! I can't thwim!"
4. I joined ISIS to help my self esteem issues. Everyone kept telling me You're the bomb.
5. Chuck Norris called 911 And asked if they needed help.
6. "Hello, is this anonymous NSA hotline?" "Yes, David, how can we help you?"
7. Help! My husband's too controlling!
8. Assist is 50% the letter "S"... The rest are just there to help.
9. Shout out to those who don't know the opposite of in. They need the help.
10. "Hey, can you help me sharpen these throwing stars?" "Shuriken"
11. Girls treat me like God They mostly forget I exist until they need help from me.
12. At the liquor store: "Hey, do you need help?"
    "Yes, but I come here instead"
13. Somebody help me find my apples! The man cried fruitlessly.
14. My grandfather survived both the hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings Being in Canada helped.
15. Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

As Helpful As Jokes

Here is a list of funny as helpful as jokes and even better as helpful as puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My ADD always beats me when I'm trying to do my homework. The dyslexia doesn't help either.
• Is this the right sub? Need help repairing my fence. It seems everyone knows how to repost here.
• What has 6 eyes, 16 tentacles and quacks like a duck? I don't know either but it's in my kitchen please help.
• what has 2 legs in the morning and 3 in the afternoon? I have no idea but it's in my basement please send help.
• I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line... Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal.
  They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck...
• I did an ancestry.com family history today and found out that my great grandfather helped Rosa Parks initiate the civil rights movement He was the guy who said, "Get up, that's my seat."
• Saw my ex... On my way home from work last year i saw my ex being beaten up by 3 guys, i stopped the car and ran over to help...she didnt stand a chance against 4 of us.
• I was walking down the street with my wife.. And i saw my mother in law being beaten up by six men, when my wife asked "Aren't you going to help?" I said "No, six should be enough."
  From Les Dawson.
• A man runs into a doctors office screaming: "You've gotta help me doc! I'm shrinking!" The doctor says: "I'm sorry sir I'm very busy today. You'll have to be a little patient."
• A psychiatrist finds a man lying by the road who has been robbed and beaten senseless. The psychiatrist says, "My god, whoever did this needs help!"

Playful Helpful Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about helpful you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean convenient jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make helpful pranks.