The Best 50 Helmet Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Helmet jokes. There are some helmet outfit jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these helmet parka puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Helmet Jokes and Puns

Jets Fan

A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms.

The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"

After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The game begins with the Jets receiving a kickoff. They march down field stop at the 30,and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.

The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"

"I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."

Cats and ladders

A fire-fighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a fire-fighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The fire-fighter walked over to take a closer look.
"That sure is a nice fire truck," he said with admiration.
"Thanks," the girl replied. The fire-fighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
"Little partner," the fire-fighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

What do you call a Russian wearing a head scarf, a balaclava and a helmet?

Anything you want. He can't hear a thing.

Helmet joke, What do you call a Russian wearing a head scarf, a balaclava and a helmet?

How do the Redskins keep their name?

Make a deal with Planters and put Mr. Peanut on the helmet.

Why couldn't Jango wear Boba's helmet?

It didn't Fett.


The first testicular guard was used in Cricket...

The first testicular guard was used in Cricket in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.

It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.

In class room . Russia , after the war .

Russia , 1951 . school teacher asked the children. Who were your fathers ? the first boy said, " driver " , the second "The Postman ." I ask a question about the third . He said, " electrician. He was wearing a helmet and helmet were two lightning . (P.s - sorry for my english :) )

Helmet joke, In class room . Russia , after the war .

My girlfriend told me I look "uncool" with a bike helmet on...

Well you know I'd rather look uncool than fall and split my head open during sex.

Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

Voldemort tried to kill my grandpa twice during the war!

That's why his helmet has two lighting bolts.

How does Kylo Ren talk on the phone in his helmet?

He uses a hans free device

You can explore helmet bicycle reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean helmet beanie dad jokes. There are also helmet puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The first testicular guard, the "cup", was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.

That means that it only took 100 years for men to figure out that their brain is also important.

Quit laughing.

I always wear a helmet during intercourse cause I'm a firm believer in safe sex.

Doesn't help much against the STD's but it sure is effective against the pepper-spray.

How do you call someone who plays Basketball and wears a horned helmet?

Lebronze Age

My girlfriend wanted me to treat her like she was special...

...so I got her a helmet and a box of crayons!

My wife said she wanted to feel special this Valentines Day.

So I bought her a helmet and some crayons.

Helmet joke, My wife said she wanted to feel special this Valentines Day.

At the urinals

Stood next to a guy with a bike helmet on at the urinals at the train station, thought it would be hilarious to say "nice helmet", never seen someone so shocked in my life.

Stormtrooper helmets

I would wear a stormtrooper helmet everytime I went for a ride on a motorcycle to avoid HITTING anything.

She asked me to make her feel special

So I gave her a helmet and crayons.


My friend asked me to describe football in just three words

"My helmet hurts"

A genie grants a Bear and a Squirrel each 3 wishes.

Wish 1: The Bear wishes that every bear in the world would become female.

Wish 1: The Squirrel wishes for a motorcycle he can ride.

Wish 2: The Bear wishes that every female bear in the world would fall in love with him.

Wish 2: The Squirrel wishes for a helmet.

Wish 3: The Bear wishes that none of the female bears ever wanted to get married.

Wish 3: The Squirrel wishes the Bear was gay.

What does the N on the Nebraska football team's helmet stand for?

Nowledge.

I chided my biker friend for actually asking me if he should wear a helmet.

That's a no-brainer.

As a safety precaution all pans bought today come with a free helmet.

My wife tells me I look uncool wearing a bike helmet

But I'd rather look uncool than fall and split my head open during sex.

The first jockstrap in ice hockey was introduced in 1874. The helmet was first obligatory in 1974.

So it took precisely 100 years before men realized that the brain eventually could be useful too.

Private, you want to explain why your helmet is wet?

But Thir, the lispy Private replies, You thaid it wath a pith helmet!

what do you call a cyclist without a helmet?

an organ donor.

My dad left my his skydiving helmet in his will.

On the top of the helmet he engraved "DIG HERE!"

I ain't saying she's a gold digger. . .

But you don't buy a pickaxe and mining helmet on a whim

My wife said she'd polish my helmet this evening. I'm happy and she said it's what she's always wanted...

...my medieval bascinet has a lovely gleam and she gets her night in, shining armour.

A construction worker without a helmet walks into a bar.

Ouch.

Overcome with the beauty of the Earth from space, the astronaut removed his helmet

The view was breathtaking

Wearing a helmet while riding a motorbike is wise..

But having a transparent panel on it?? Now, that's visor..

I've started wearing a bike helmet, cause I find safety important. Now people stare and make fun of me.

I'll never go to that spinning class again.

What do Freddie Mercury and Ayrton Senna have in common?

They both died with skid marks on their helmet.

NSFW

Not wearing helmet at a construction site

Two eggs are about to have sex

And the guy egg puts on a crash helmet...

The girl egg asks "why the helmet?"

He replies "The last time I was this hard, I got hit on the head with a spoon!"

A police officer was answering questions of a reporter at an accident site.

Officer: "I want your news report to mention that how useful a helmet can be. This person fell in a 30ft pit while riding a bike at 100mph, still there not a single scratch on his face because he was wearing a helmet."

Report: "Wow! That's just miraculous. Can we get an interview with that person?"

Officer: "Well, I'm afraid, not. We haven't found the rest of the body yet."

People always tell me to wear a helmet while skateboarding...

I can't even remember the last time I hit my head.

My grandfather was an electrician during WWII.

His uniform had a helmet with two thunderbolts on it

A child and his father were going to ride their bikes.

Child: \*wearing a beanie

Father: When you are going to ride your bike, you should always wear a helmet

Child: Don't worry dad, this is better. I already tested it.

Father: How?

Child: I threw them both out of the 3rd floor window. The helmet broke.

An couple of Swedish jokes

What does it say at the bottom of a Norwegian swimming pool?

- No smoking allowed.

Why do Norwegian motor bikers wear pyjamas hats instead of helmets?

- Because the helmet broke during the 300 metre free fall test.

Why did the Norwegian bring a car door to the desert?

- so he could roll the window down in case it gets too hot.

What does a Norwegian calculator say you if you enter 1 + 1?

- please wait...

A lion is drinking from a puddle and his tail is up.

A gorilla walks up behind him, seizes the opportunity and has his way with him.

The gorilla takes off and the lion takes off after him. The gorilla runs into a hunter's camp, jumps into a tent, puts on a safari outfit and a pith helmet, grabs a copy of The Johannesburg Times, sits down and pretends to read.

The lion runs into the camp, sticks his head into the tent and roars, "Arrgg! Did a gorilla come through here?"

The gorilla says, "You mean the one that nailed you from behind?"

The lion says, "You mean it's in the paper already?"

My grandad was highly decorated during WW2....

In fact, many people believe it was the tinsel and balloon on his helmet that got him shot.

A Knight, a Samurai, and a Viking are lost in a desert.

They see someone in the distance, and as they draw closer, they realise it's a buck naked woman in a crusader's helmet with a samurai sword on her back.

The knight exclaims, "Look at her helm. Surely she is of my people! "

The samurai says "Nay! See the sword. She is obviously from Japan!"

The Viking shakes his head and says " No! She is in truth a Viking! Behold the beard of Thor!"

I told the cute girl at the grocery store that I wanted to make her mine. Was all smiles and as happy as anything...

For some reason, she got mad when I gave her a pick axe and a helmet with a light on the front.

army recruitment

If a war breaks out, I think they will take me to communication because I'm an electrical technician. When it was the last war, my grandfather was probably also in communication because he had two lightning bolts on his helmet.

I've heard that head injuries can cause memory loss, but I still don't wear a bike helmet.

I don't even remember the last time I fell off my bike.

The bicyclist

A bicyclist walks into a bar wearing his bike helmet with a headlamp strapped on it for riding at night. "Nice head light," the bartender comments as he gets the biker a beer. "Yeah, it gets dark so early, I had to get it for riding at night," the biker says. "It makes me look like a miner." "No," the bartender replies. "I'd say you still look about 45."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the helmet headset jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working helmet motorcyclist piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes