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Hells Angels Jokes

9 hells angels jokes and hilarious hells angels puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hells angels that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Hells Angels Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good hells angels joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

What do accordion heaven and hell have in common? They both make angels weep, but for entirely different reasons.

An older woman's husband dies during a b**... session.

She decides to do something crazy with her life, and buys a Harley, gets a few tattoos, and goes out in search of the h**...'s Angels.
When she finds them they give her an initiation test.
"You ever killed a man?" They ask.
"Yep" she says. "Killed my husband."
"You ever steal anything?" They ask.
"Oh all the time." She replies.
"You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
"Sure have, and strung up by my n**...".

How do you turn a d**... into an angel?

You scare the h**... out of them.

After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?"

God said,
"I think I'm going to call it a day."

A soul is sent to h**....

"Get me the manager! I demand to know why I am in h**...!" the soul shouted.
The fallen angel sighed. "We rebelled against God."
"That's no reason to punish me!"
"You do not understand. You were not sent here to be punished by us. You were sent here as punishment to us."

s**...

A h**...'s Angel is doing the deed with his girl in the back seat of a car. He hears a tap-tap-tap on the window, looks up, sees a flashlight shine on a badge and then into the back seat, and a gravely voice say, "I'm next."
He starts quivering and shaking, and his girl asks him what is the matter.
He says, "I never done it with a cop!"

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three h**...'s Angels bikers walked in.

The first walked up to the old man and pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, and then he took a
seat at the counter.
The second walked up to the old man and spit into the old man's milk, and then he took a seat at the
counter.
The third walked up to the old man and turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the
counter.
Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said
to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"
The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver, either. He just backed his truck over three
motorcycles…

Hear about the h**...'s Angels biker who's a baker?

he's bad to the scone

A man is speaking with Saint Peter at the gates of Heaven.

Saint Peter asks him if he has done any good deeds in his time on Earth to merit entry into paradise.
Thinking for a moment, he says, "I was once in a bar in Arizona. I noticed a beautiful woman sitting alone, but before I could introduce myself a bunch of h**...'s Angels stormed in and started wrecking the place. Then they scooped the woman off of her bar stool and started throwing her around and terrorizing all of the other guys there."
Saint Peter asks, "And what did you do?"
"Well, first I went outside and kicked their motorcycles over, then I went back in and found the biggest, ugliest, meanest one of them I could. Slapped him in the face, then snatched one of his earrings out and said, 'Listen up. Either you and your friends clear out of here and leave that woman alone or you're going to have to deal with me'."
Clearly impressed, Saint Peter asks, "When did this happen?"
"About five minutes ago."

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