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Helium Jokes

115 helium jokes and hilarious helium puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about helium that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Helium Short Jokes

Short helium jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The helium humour may include short hydrogen jokes also.

  1. Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong... I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.
  2. I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
  3. airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control. But cases continue to rise.
  4. After an altercation with my boss, I decided to leave my job at the helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
  5. Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"
  6. Helium walks into a bar. The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gases." He doesn't react.
  7. I just quit my job in the helium factory because of the way management spoke to me. I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.
  8. LPT: If your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for Helium. It will be hilarious when you scream.
  9. Helium walks into a bar The bartender says "we don't serve noble gases here, get out!"
    He doesn't react.
  10. I quit my job at the helium factory today I won't stand to be spoke to in that tone of voice

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Helium One Liners

Which helium one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with helium? I can suggest the ones about oxygen and helicopter.

  1. Why is helium so expensive these days? Because of all the inflation.
  2. Just quit my job at the helium factory. I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.
  3. I swallowed two cans of helium today HeHe
  4. What do you do with sick chemists? If you can't helium or curium, you barium.
  5. Three helium atoms walk into a bar HeHeHe
  6. Quit my job at the helium factory I'm not gonna let them talk to me like that.
  7. I quit my job at the helium gas factory I didn't like being spoken to in that tone.
  8. Quit my job at the helium factory today I refuse to be spoken to in that tone
  9. People tell me filling animals with helium is bad.. But i say whatever floats your goat.
  10. Some say putting helium in animals is wrong. I say whatever floats your goat.
  11. That one about the three helium atoms is pretty funny. HeHeHe
  12. Two Helium atoms were acting funny HeHe
  13. My friend takes helium recreationally. He speaks very highly about it.
  14. What did the scientist say when he found 2 helium atoms? HeHe
  15. I filled my inflatable girlfriend up with helium... and now she's playing hard to get!!!

Helium Balloons Jokes

Here is a list of funny helium balloons jokes and even better helium balloons puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Some people say that it's wrong to fill up balloon animals with helium. But whatever floats your goat.
  • I bought my girlfriend a big helium balloon for her birthday it didn't go down very well.
  • What is the worst time to hear that your loved one has died? Right after you took a large hit from a helium balloon.
  • I met this guy who liked to put helium balloons in his ship Whatever floats your boat I guess
  • Helium is a limited resource and we could run out of it in our lifetime... Balloon prices are going to go sky high.
  • What do you do for a sick balloon? You helium up.
  • We're trying to come up with a plan to get my escaped helium balloon back. We've got some ideas. But it's still up in the air.
  • Went to the store I went to the store and found out balloons with helium cost more than balloons without. All because of inflation...
  • What happened when there was a global helium shortage? Prices ballooned.
  • War crimes, helium balloons, sphincter control; just some of the things "Let it Go" doesn't apply to.

Hydrogen Helium Jokes

Here is a list of funny hydrogen helium jokes and even better hydrogen helium puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did Helium do after Hydrogen and Oxygen became water? He didn't react at all.
  • Hydrogen punched helium... Helium didn't react.
  • Why didn't helium and hydrogen go on a date? because He didn't want to.
  • A man was eating the 7th planet from the sun.... what did his breath smell like? 83% hydrogen, 15% helium and 2% methane.
  • Why is Helium more Catholic than Hydrogen? Because it has more atomic MASS
  • One day in class I started saying "hydrogen, helium, lithium..." Then I screamed out **#"OXYGEN!"** and everyone got scared.
    I said "that was the element of surprise."
Helium joke, One day in class I started saying "hydrogen, helium, lithium..."

Helium joke, One day in class I started saying "hydrogen, helium, lithium..."

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about helium can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of helium puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheerful Fun Helium Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about helium you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean chlorine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make helium prank.

Sir Helium walked into a pub, the bartender shouted at him,"HEY! We don't serve your kind in here"!

Sir Helium did not react.

Helium

Some helium walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve noble gasses here."
The helium doesn't react.

Just read a book on Helium.

Couldn't put it down.

Helium Factory

It looks like the negotiations at the helium factory were falling apart....everything was up in the air.

Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'?

Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!

Helium walks into a bar...

The bar man says, "Hey! We don't serve your kind!" Helium doesn't react.

Stock Market Report

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged.
The market for raisins dried up. Balloon prices were inflated. And toilet paper touched a new bottom.

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses here". He doesn't react, because living a society that systematically discriminates against noble gasses has taught him that getting angry will only bring violence upon him. He totally writes an angry tumblr post about it later that evening though.

Two Helium Atoms Are Bonding.

HeHe

Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium.
(Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)

A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking.

A helium atom and a hydrogen atom were talking.
Hydrogen says to helium, 'Hey, I think I've lost my electron.'
Helium replies 'Oh, are you sure?'
Hydrogen responds 'I'm positive'.

What did the druggie scientist say when he got high on Helium?

He He

What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

HeHe

My favorite element is Helium

I can't speak highly enough of it

neon bumped into helium.

There was no reaction.

Why did the man commit s**... by helium suffocation?

He wanted to go out on a high note.

A helium atom walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out, we don't serve your kind here".

The helium atom did not react.

Apparently filling animals with helium is "a**...", pfft

Whatever floats your goat, I guess.

What do you call it when Argon, Neon, Krypton, Xenon, Radon, and Helium frequently attend church?

Noble Masses.

I once worked in a helium factory

It wasn't a very nice job, because of the leaks, but the owner was very sympathetic and we all spoke highly of her.

I just got hired at the helium factory

I find the job uplifting.

Iodine wanted to bond with Uranium...

But Uranium wanted to bond with Helium ; helium was noble and didn't want to bond with Uranium. When Iodine found out about this, he said.....
"I know I can treat U better than He can..."

Why are Helium, Curium, and Barium called the medical isotopes?

Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium.

Oxygen, helium, sulphur, sodium and phosphorus walk in to a bar...

OH SNaP

People often make fun of me for swallowing helium

But I rise above it.

Why are helium, curium, and barium known as the healing elements?

Because if you can't helium.
Or curium.
You gotta barium.

Why isn't there any helium in North Korea?

Because helium can only be found in a free state.

You can easily make money by collecting helium and selling it for a dollar per pound.

No weight, that doesn't make any cents...

Imagine what the first person who inhaled helium thought...

They must have spoke very highly about it.

What Do You Do With A Sick Chemist?

If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Carbon and Helium were having a conversation.

Carbon: And then I said, Barium!
Osmium walks into the room.
What's so funny guys?
Carbon whispers to Helium: Don't tell him. He's too dense to get it.

I had to quit my job at the helium factory.

I couldn't stand being spoken to in that tone.

I quit my job at the helium factory,

I couldn't let them speak to me in that tone.

I had enough and finally quit my job at the helium plant today.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

I have a really good joke about helium

But it'll get no reaction like my cake day.

What do you do with a sick scientist?

Well if you can't helium or curium then you might as well barium!

Just quit my job at the helium factory.

I will not be spoken to in that tone!

I've quit my job at the helium factory.

Nobody talks to me like that!

My addiction to Helium is out of control, but...

no one is taking my cries for help seriously.

Why is helium the most respected element?

People speak very highly of it

A childhood classic my dad used to tell me:

Q. Why was a frog flying?
A. Because he ate a helium baloon.
Q. Then why was a snake flying?
A. Because it ate the flying frog.
Q. Then why was the eagle flying?
A. Because it has wings

Everyone is telling the Helium joke, but what do you get when you add Helium to Tellurium?

……..TeHe!

Helium walks into a bar

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says We don't serve noble gases in here. **Helium doesn't react!.**
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? ** HeHe **
I would make another chemistry joke but all good ones **ARGON**!
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium got together and I was like.. .. **o**...**

Asked my wife to buy me some lighter gas

She came back with helium

What did the chemist say in response to a clever joke about helium?

He He :))

What does two heliums and Michael Jackson have in common?

HeHe

Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.

HeHe

Why is He the symbol for helium?

Because it makes you giggle.^(HeHeHe)

I quit my job at the Helium factory recently

For I won't tolerate being talked to in that tone of voice.

Have you heard about the helium shortage?

It's only gotten worse with inflation.

Did you hear about the guy who immediately found a job after quitting from the helium factory?

Their references spoke very highly of them.

Quit my job working in the helium factory.

I wasn't going to be spoken to like that.
--

Helium joke, Quit my job working in the helium factory.

jokes about helium

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these helium jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.