Helicopter Pilot Jokes
35 helicopter pilot jokes and hilarious helicopter pilot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about helicopter pilot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Helicopter Pilot Short Jokes
Short helicopter pilot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The helicopter pilot humour may include short airplane pilot jokes also.
- King Charles has announced that he will be sending his best two Helicopter pilots to Ukraine for the war. Their names are Andrew and Harry
- A helicopter There are two men in a helicopter, the gunner says to the pilot,"are you going to rotate clockwise?" The pilot says,"yaw"
- Did you hear about the helicopter pilot who quit flying after he made a million dollars? He's now a rotorvational speaker.
- My granddad always kept his head high. even when others around him were losing theirs. He was a terrible helicopter pilot.
- Breaking news: A helicopter has c**... landed into a cemetery in Ireland The pilots didn't survive, and so far local police have recovered 956 bodies.
- After the helicopter c**..., the blond pilot was asked what happened. She replied, "It was getting chilly in there, so I turned the fan off."
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Helicopter Pilot One Liners
Which helicopter pilot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with helicopter pilot? I can suggest the ones about helicopter and aircraft pilot.
- Where do Russian helicopter pilots keep their drinks? In Akula
- Helicopter rotors are also air conditioners When they stop, the pilot starts sweating.
- What do you call it when a helicopter pilot reflects on his life? HINDsight
- The job of a helicopter pilot is really cool But it has its ups and downs...
- What do an apple and a pear have in common? Neither can pilot an attack helicopter.
- Why did the Polish helicopter c**...? The pilot got cold and turned off the ceiling fan!
Hilarious Helicopter Pilot Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about helicopter pilot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fighter pilot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make helicopter pilot pranks.
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle...
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
Two guys in a helicopter are crossing a mountain range when the rotor breaks and the chopper is going to c**....
As they are falling to their certain death, the pilot calmly reaches to his pocket and pulls out a bright red lipstick. He puts lipstick on, then tears the steering wheel out of the dashboard and shoves it up his a**.... Passenger looks at the pilot in horror and shouts "what the h**... are you doing, we are going to die!" Pilot quietly answers "there's nothing we can do, I'm just giving the c**... investigators something to think about."
Investigator to trainee helicopter pilot: "So you survived the c**.... How did it happen?" Pilot: "Flying too high. I was shivering. Too cold." "Then what?"
"Then (pointing to the rotor) I switched off the fan."
Old couple at the carnival
An elderly couple John, and Janice go to the carnvail where John spots a helicopter ride.
He runs over and says to his wife "Janice I've always wanted to go on a helicopter ride and look its only ten dollars".
Janice then says "John why would we pay money to go on a ride ten dollars is ten dollars". They end up not riding and finish up walking around the carnival until they go home.
A year later when the carnival comes back they go again and John sees the helicopter ride again and runs over to it.
He says to Janice "honey I've wanted to go on this helicopter ride for a while now can we just go"?
Janice says to him "John I'll tell you the same I told you last year, ten dollars is ten dollars".
This happens a few more years until the pilot is tired of them bickering about it and comes up with a solution.
He says to John and Janice "I'll take you both up for free but the catch is, if anyone of you talk I'll charge ten dollars".
Satisfied with the compromise Janice agrees, so they go up and the pilot is trying every maneuver possible to try to get them to scream or talk, but without fail neither talk.
When they land the pilot sees Janice is no longer in the helicopter and asks John "what happened to Janice"? John then exclaims "she fell out about 5 minutes into the ride ". "well why didn't you say anything"? Asks the pilot.
And without missing a beat John says "well ten dollars is ten dollars".
an American, an Arabian and a Vietnamese in a helicopter
Gasoline was low, the pilot tells them to get rid of unnecessary things to lower the weight.
The American throw a suitcase full of money and said: That just 10 million dollars, There's so many of them in my bank.
The Arabian throw a suitcase full of gold and said: That just 20 kilogram of gold, There's so many of them in my safe.
The Vietnamese throw 2 of them out of the helicopter and said to the pilot: That just 2 trash talker, There's so many of them in my house.
Helicopter c**...
A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly loses engine power and the aircraft begins to descend
The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to get to them.
Just then a man gets out if his seat and runs over to open the door.
The pilots screams at him, "Didn't you hear what I said, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat as long as the doors remain closed?!!!"
"Of course I heard you", the man replied, "but it's also designed to fly, and look how good that one worked out!!!"
Make us happy!
There was Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton on a helicopter flying over New York, when Donald said I will throw this 20 dollars out of the helicopter and make someone happy , Hillary replay I will throw this two 10 dollars bills out of the helicopter and make two people happy , Donald with disgust on his look to Hillary yell I will throw this four 5 dollars bills out of the helicopter and make 4 people happy , and the pilot look back and said Why don't you throw each other out of the helicopter and make millions happy .
There was a competition to see who could take their helicopter up the farthest...
The first guy went up a fair distance, but the atmosphere was too thin for him so he quit and came back down. The second guy went further than the first but eventually gave in to exhaustion and just flew back down. The third guy kept going and going, and eventually he began to just become a speck in the sky. Eventually however the helicopter fell and crashed. The pilot came out woozy and everyone asked him what happened.
"It got really cold up there so I switched off the fan"
Lost Helicopter
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it in the helicopter's window. The sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and determined the course to steer to SEATAC (Seattle/Tacoma) airport and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless reply.
HELISOFT
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
In a helicopter somewhere over Seattle
There was a helicopter pilot lost over Seattle on a particularly cloudy day. He finally comes up next to an office building and holds up a sign to person in the window. The sign read "WHERE AM I?" The person in window responded with their own sign, which read "IN A HELICOPTER".
The pilot immediately nodded, and flew straight back to airport.
Once on the ground the pilot was asked how he knew where he was. His response was, "I knew I was at the Microsoft headquarters when I received an equally accurate and useless answer".
Last went to temple when I was 13. Still remember this "joke."
A man jumps into the ocean and decides to put his life in God's hands. He is treading water for 45 mins when a tugboat comes by. The captain shouts to him, "get in and we will take you to shore!" The man calls back, "no thanks, I'm waiting for God to save me." The captain looks perplexed but drives away." Next, a helicopter pilot spots the man and lowers down a ladder. He calls down, "grab the ladder and we'll pull you up!" The man again tells him, "not thanks, I'm waiting for God! The man dies and is before God at the pearly gates. He is angry and asks God, "where were you when I needed you?" God replies, "who do you think sent the boat and helicopter?"
Two guys are in a helicopter.
During their flight the helicopter encounters some dense fog and quickly becomes lost. After a few minutes of careful maneuvering, the two find themselves hovering next to a large building where they can see a guy in his office, sitting at his desk.
Thinking quickly, the copilot grabs a piece of paper, writes "WHERE ARE WE?" in huge letters on it, and holds it up for the officeworker to read. The officeworker grabs a sheet of paper off his desk, scribbles quickly, and holds up his response: "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
"Okay, no problem," says the pilot. "I know where we are. We're over the local college and that's the engineering school."
"How do you know that?" asks the copilot.
"Because," says the pilot, "the answer he gave us was technically correct but completely useless."
Variation of the hot air balloon joke
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign read: "IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at her map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how did the sign help determine their position. The pilot responded "Well the response they gave me was technically correct, but completely useless, so I knew that had to be the Microsoft building."
A priest, an Army Man, and a Teacher
A priest, an army man, and a teacher are all in a helicopter. The helicopter starts to go down, so the pilot says quick everybody through anything you have on you to lighten the chopper! So the teacher throws her apple, the priest throws his bible, and the army man throws his grenade.
The helicopter lands safely, and the army man starts walking around when he sees a little girl crying. "Little girl, little girl, why are you crying?" The little girl answers, "an apple fell out of no where and hit me in the head!"
The army man continues walking until he stumbles upon another crying girl. " little girl, little girl, why are you crying?"
The girl responds, "a bible came out of no where and hit me in the head!"
The army man is walking again and sees a little boy rolling around laughing. He walks up to the boy and asks, "little boy, little boy, why are you laughing so hard?"
The boy laughs and says, "my grandpa f**..., and the house behind him blew up!"
All the forest animals are having a big car show..
..shining their rims, getting ready to put their cars on display for the forest folk to see. The bunny is hopping along half drunk and stumbles into the clearing.
"WHOAAHhh bear, that's a sweet lambo, how did you ever afford it?"
"Well bunny, i'm not an alcoholic like you" replies the bear.
The bunny takes another sip of his stashed mickey and hops with his face into the rims of a Ferrari.
"Woaahh Fox, how on earth did you afford this!"
The Fox, grabbing a towel out of its back pocket gives the bunny a dirty look and mutters "I don't spend every acorn i earn on booze.."
The bunny, amazed, takes another swig of v**... and hops his way back into the woods.
As everyone is adding the finishing touches to their rides, ready to open the show to the public, a helicopter lands in the middle of it all with the bunny in the pilot seat. He barely makes two hops and throws up.
"Wow bunny.. how on earth did you ever manage to afford that?!" the amazed onlookers exclaim.
" *hic*.. turned in my empties"
Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!
Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say,
'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter'
Edna always replied,
'I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'
One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said,
'Edna, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance'
To this, Edna replied,
"Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'
The pilot overheard the couple and said,
'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'
Buddy and Edna agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Buddy and said,
'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Buddy replied,
'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, but you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'